Teaching your kid to fight…would you do this?

Yesterday, I witnessed a very disturbing scene in an urban playground.

It was a beautiful fall afternoon in Chicago, at a playground nestled among the skyscrapers near Millennium park.

Our extended family was there with the youngest among them, a 2 year old little boy and 4 year old little girl. Both, fortunately, remained oblivious to the inappropriate activity encouraged by the parents and nanny of two seemingly unrelated boys.

The young boys seemed to be around 7 or 8 years old…one was several inches shorter than the other but they were evenly built….they were “duking it out” in the middle of the playground.

At first the other “parents” yelled at them to “cut it out” and “stop”, but the boys seemed intent on throwing punches and kicks to the body and groin paying no attention to the bystanders.

I watched somewhat in horror…especially when I noticed one boy’s parents watching and encouraging their son in this activity. They were not phased by any of the other parents’ comments.

I realized the taller boy was there with a nanny and toddler sister when he ran to his sister’s stroller to grab his sword out of its sheath. The nanny quickly took it away but sent him back into the “ring”. This was probably the only appropriate adult behaviour that I witnessed.

Finally…I could not contain myself as I watched this scene unfold and I approached the dad…

“Do you speak English?”…I asked.

He mumbled…that he did. I then told him, that what he was doing was inappropriate and that other children in the playground should not be made to witness this…his response was …”then don”t watch”…I then said that we could not help but witness the fighting, and this was a “playground” where we teach our children not to fight.

At that point, I walked away and approached the nanny, who was also just watching from another vantage point…I essentially told her the same thing and said that it was shameful of her to encourage this activity.

The nanny gathered the boy fighter and little girl and quickly left the playground…then other couple hung around watching their son play nicely with some other kids on the playground equipment .

I am still processing this scene and wondering if what I did really mattered…no other parents stood up to this man…did this mean that they were not appalled or was it urban apathy and “don’t get involved” that was playing in their heads?

I will never know for sure…but what I do know is that I basically stood alone facing this dad…speaking my mind…and I would probably do it over again.

What would you have done if you witnessed an activity like this at a playground?

I felt like I was watching a “dog fight”…and I had a flashback of an episode of “Law and Order SVU” where a child died of a ruptured spleen under suspicious conditions.

It was later found that the young boy was encouraged to fight by his dad and there were other dads, who brought their boys to a group at night in a park and set them free to fight…it was a disgusting show… but now I realize it seems that it is all too real.

 

Win a Back to School Gift from Hallmark!

There is nothing like little surprises and my grandchild loves them as much as I do.

Hallmark Cards has just the cutest items to surprise your child during lunchtime.

Many years ago, when my own girls were young, I was working and left home before my girls got up for school. I tried very hard to somehow connect with them prior to their leaving   for school or while they were in school.

I always left them breakfast and for lunch I would use a cookie cutter to shape their sandwiches into “heart” shapes. Every now and then I would leave a handwritten note.

Then, when they both went to “sleep away” camp I had to depend on “snail” mail to deliver, cards, letters and packages. It was fun choosing from companies that specialized in camp baskets designed for kids away from home, who were not allowed to have candy and food items in their cabin….not easy!

As school reopens….I find myself along with my daughter trying to make lunch not only healthy, but interesting and fun. It is an opportunity to share a moment during the day to say something special to a sweet little girl starting out in the world.

Here are some of the fun “Back to School” Hallmark items that I found to help make my grandchild’s lunch a memorable moment of her day at school.

Enter the contest below if you would like to win these items in a Back-to-School Gift Pack from Hallmark!

 

Win It!

I get to give one Back-to-School Gift Pack to one of you! To enter, tweet the following and leave me a comment letting me know you did:

Tweet “@LoretteLavine I want to win the @Hallmark Back to School Gift pack.

Extra Entries:

Follow ParentingintheLoop on Facebook
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Follow LoretteLavine on Twitter
Follow HallmarkCards on Twitter

Leave one comment per task letting me know you did, or already do.

Sweepstakes run from today, September 7 until  Saturday Night September 9th

I was not compensated for this post. I was given product for review and giveaway. All opinions are my own.

There is no winner for this gift pack from Hallmark as there were no comments or tweets related to this post.


 

Toast Tuesday!

Vaccinate Your Effing Kids | Jessica Gottlieb A Los Angeles Mom.

Jessica makes an important statement here.

If you are deciding whether to vaccinate or not vaccinate your children, definitely do your homework. Your life and your child’s life could depend upon the decision you make.

It is important to make medical decisions based on solid research that is done by reputable researchers not based on Hollywood personalities or business men like “The Donald”.

So this Tuesday …I am recommending Jessica Gottlieb’s blog.

Toast Tuesday

Toast Tuesday!

This week, I would like to feature Melinda Tripp on my blog.

She is devoted to the safety of children and most importantly teaching children to be safe.

Take a look at her blog and give two thumbs up to PROJECT SAFE!

 

About the Author and PROJECT SAFE:

If you want every child as I do to grow up safely, make good choices, be  confident, empowered and success-filled, welcome aboard the express train to safe kids across the nation.

A plan tailored by parents and teachers for their child, their family and their class.

Welcome to my world, the one where we strive together to grow the safest next generation.

I am calling it PROJECT SAFE.

via About the Author and PROJECT SAFE « Teachsafety.

Another Senseless Shooting

Lisa Belkin: The Aurora Shooting: Any Of Our Children Could Have Been At The Movies Last Night.

Today, when we awoke, we learned of yet another senseless shooting in a Colorado movie theatre over night.

The victims were there for the opening of “Dark Night”…most were young… they just wanted to enjoy a movie.

My heart goes out to all those victims and their families.

My friend Lisa Belkin has written a post that expresses many of my feelings.

Hug each other and your kids.

Week in Review from Parenting in the Loop

Here are my pick reads for the week.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

🙂

Many of us want to have it all…but let’s be real…is it possible? My guess is, it depends on what “all” means to each one of us. Our definition of “all” may also change and morph over time just as we ourselves do. Marissa Mayer is the new, young, mother-to-be, CEO of Yahoo. This week she is causing a stir and is a trending topic among moms. It seems, she plans to work right through her maternity leave…does she not have a clue how becoming a parent changes your perspective. That is not to say that her plans are not “realistic” for her. What it seems to say is, she has no experience to reference her wishes as to how she will handle motherhood and a high profile job.

What does a beach day look like from Mom’s lens?  This is a wonderful version of a summer day of fun and frolic.

Does it sound like something that you have experienced as a Mom or Dad?

“Mothers feel so overwhelmed by the sexualizing messages their daughters are receiving from the media that they feel they can do nothing to help,” she said. “Our studys findings indicate otherwise — we found that in actuality, mothers are key players in whether or not their daughters sexualize themselves. Moms can help their daughters navigate a sexualizing world by instructing their daughters about their values and by not demonstrating objectified and sexualized behaviors themselves.”

Beach Party…

Fuller Beach, Edgartown, MA

A day at the beach with kids sounds like fun and it can be with a great deal of effort usually on the part of the adults, usually the moms.

For many years we vacationed on Martha’s Vineyard, where we were a short walk away from the beach in Edgartown and a beautiful short ferry ride from the beaches on Chappaquidick.  It was idyllic in many ways and I have so many fond memories from those vacations with my daughter, her friends and various family members who joined us for all or part of our vacation time.

Martha’s Vineyard and MOM

Our house was small but could sleep 7-8 people in a pinch or 6 very comfortably. It was not air-conditioned which proved to be somewhat hellish at times when the temperatures soared to the 90’s. We did have boxed fans which kept humming through those sultry days and nights. Some times it was even to hot to pack up and make the “trip” to the beach…those were the days spent on the sofa in front of the fan reading.

Martha’s Vineyard…

You probably are wondering what prompted this post…well I happened across two blogs today that discussed what it takes to create a fun day at the beach.

My answer… MOM and lots of planning…food, toys, umbrellas, towels, coolers, chairs, sunscreen…drinks and plenty of sweat and patience. If you have really little ones then of course you need extra bathing suits and swim diapers.

I would begin packing in early June for our July trip to the Vineyard…why?

Because summer rentals on the Vineyard usually do not come with linens. So I would send stuff ahead to the Mailroom in Edgartown where it would be waiting for me. We would take a very early Ferry on Saturday and hustle off to pick up our cartons filled with the sundries necessary for a comfortable couple of weeks at the beach.

I would be remiss if I did not include here the fact that we had to fly from Chicago on Friday night and drive to Woods Hole where we would all pile in to the Nautilus Motor Inn for the night…in later years we stayed with a college friend in Falmouth for the night.

Woods Hole, MA

From the Nautilus you could hear the comfort of the Ferry horn and quickly walk to the dock. We had to purchase our Ferry tickets in February in order to take a car on board…all of this was done by MOM. Even the Nautilus had to be booked well in advance…as it was a very popular place come summetime.

All the preparation was worth the lazy days spent on the Vineyard which still remains one of my favorite places and memories.

Finally on move in day ..there was the obligatory trip  to Stop and Shop and Cronigs to buy staples like chips and dip and drinks. We would shop each daily for the catch of the day and head “Up Island” to the Farmers Market for our favorite pies and jams and containers of Pam’s Pesto.

Each morning MOM (me) would assemble all the “stuff” for the beach. Now mind you we stayed there most of the day…so snacks and lunch were necessities. The beaches that we liked had no concessions so you were at your own mercy when it came to food and drink.

There were always many hands to get us to the beach and back…but those hands disappeared fast when it came to washing and drying the towels and  cleaning the cooler making ready for the next day.

Then there was dinner for the hungry souls that had spent the entire day reading, roasting, rollicking and eating in the sun or under one of the umbrellas that we had lugged along with us.

Finally after a relaxing dinner…day was done after a short walk to SCOOPS in Edgartown for the obligatory ice cream.

Vineyard Scoops

Yes, MOM made it happen…but this MOM really enjoyed those days and sultry nights at the beach.

Martha’s Vineyard just makes me feel nostalgic about times gone by…but now it’s on to this MOM and trips to the beach (no longer Martha’s Vineyard)…SIGH… with grandchildren, where I am still the organizer with help from PAPA.

It is hard to know who enjoys the beach more us or our grandchild.

Who plans fun with the kids or grandkids in your family?

 

 

 

 

Lifes Not A Beach With Kids | Kid Scoop.

Staying Connected…

 

As a grandparent, who spends a fair amount of time with my own granddaughter,  there are times when I am exhausted but I don’t want to give in to the tiredness nor do I want to melt down when she melts down.

I find myself reading “mom blogs” which are comforting…since the moms are quite a few years younger than I and they feel exactly the same way I do at times.

I remember often feeling totally destroyed as a young mom of two under two…I had a few friends with whom to commiserate on the wall phone with the ultra long cord that practically went all around the house with me  as I talked and chased my girls. No cell phones or wireless for this 1980’s mom. No internet …no instant messages that could issue an SOS around the world on Twitter or other social media.

But thank God for social media at this stage of my life as a grandmother… it is very comforting to read other moms “daily” comings and goings and all that they do to keep sane.

This morning, I found this post on my Facebook page…it was a much needed one. I am on vacation from my home in Chicago…I am supposed to relax at the seashore for 5+ days. Now, I am not complaining but when you are with a 3 year old it is harder to find those much needed relaxing moments.

I share the following with all of you in hopes that it will help when you are exhausted some day…you don’t even need to have kids or be a grandmother to use the tips in this article.

What do you do to relax and stay connected with your kids and grandkids when your energy is tapped out?

Connecting with Kids When You’re Exhausted.

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. ~Carl Bard


Traveling with Kids…

Noteworthy Wednesday!

Up In The Air

This is a funny post from another mommy blogger although it probably was not amusing when this situation was taking place.

It is a dilemma that I have never encountered or witnessed on any of my many flights.

I people watch all the time and observe children and the various behaviors that they exhibit, from which I may add, I learn a lot. I also like to see what activities parents bring on board to amuse their kids during a flight so that I might try these when I am flying with my grandchild.

But this  issue is one that can really be a problem when traveling with a potty trained toddler who is afraid of the bathroom on the plane.

I guess my response would be to try to prepare a child ahead of time for the noise in the bathroom and the look of  bathroom before even getting on the plane. I would also make sure that a child tries to use the bathroom in the airport before boarding.

Remember the roar of the engine noise seems even louder in the bathroom and any bumps could be scary, also the flushing sounds are somewhat disturbing to me  so I sympathize if they are afraid…it sounds like the suction could actually take you with it. That suction is also heard when you drain the sink as well so prepare the child and make it a game if you can. Perhaps even the fact that the toilet is metal may seem scary…it certainly is not as friendly looking as the little potty with “Dora “on it that they are using at home. “Dora” seat covers may help but it did no good for the poor child in this scenario.

One thing I do know is that I would not pursue it if my child had a bad reaction to the airplane bathroom and perhaps I would always carry a pull-up or two and a change of clothes until such time as his/her fear was resolved.

Have any of you had this experience with your child and if so what do you advise?