Weekend Picks from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on June 17, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Picks from Parenting in the Loop

Summer is full of celebrations it seems, especially when the weather is warm.

We all find it a bit easier to be playful and somewhat carefree when the the sun shines and the days are longer.

So here are my picks for some weekend reads.

Enjoy!

Friends and family get together during the summer and our children are meeting all sorts of “relatives” that they may or may not know. Take a cue from them how affectionate they want to be to these “strangers”.

As we head into the vacation season and into visits with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, there’s one awkward situation that will arise in many families that most parents will be unprepared to deal with: relatives who expect hugs and kisses from little ones — even when those little ones don’t want to show them affection. To spare a relative’s feelings, many of us will urge a small child to endure or even return this unwanted physical contact. But should we? What messages are we sending to our kids about their body boundaries when we do this?

Source: Why Your Child Should Never Be Forced to Hug a Relative | POPSUGAR Moms

Trying to teach your child coding and introducing them to STEM activities is easier than you think.

Computer coding is essentially a language that computer uses. When we think about helping kids learn computer coding, we automatically think we need a computer first. But in fact, there are many ways to learn computer coding without a computer, as many thinking and coding approach can be learned in many different activities off-screen. Today we share some off-screen activities that teach kids computer coding.

Source: 11 Kids Activities to Learn Coding without a Computer | iGameMom

Father’s Day is here and DIY gifts are great for the little ones to give to Dad. Here are some suggestions Cool Mom Picks.

24 wonderful DIY Father’s Day gifts, crafts + printables
Posted on June 17, 2016
DIY Father’s Day gifts are always so special, especially from the youngest kids. (Once we hit voting age or so, those handprint mugs just don’t really cut it in the same way, huh.) So for our next installment of our 2016 Father’s Day Gift

Source: 24 wonderful DIY Father’s Day gifts, crafts + printables

Mindfulness Might Help in the Aftermath of Orlando

Posted on June 14, 2016 by llpitlwp

Mindfulness Might Help

Sunrise

Orlando, Paris, Sandy Hook….my mind cannot embrace all the recent violence and the extreme sadness that it causes so many people that I don’t even personally know.

As a parent and grandparent I am concerned for the future and wish I could change the past painful events and I look for ways to rid myself of the feelings of fear of the future and repossess some of the casualness of my younger self.

Today I am reading thoughts from blogger friends who have a way with words and are suffering too as they ponder the future and how to prepare themselves and their families for so many uncertainties.

I would like to share some thoughts on meditation which has helped me out in times of stress.

Mindfulness is one way to ease our thoughts and stresses and allow ourselves to live in the “Now” which helps us to have moments where our mind is quieted even for a minute of meditation. Anyone can do meditation and it can be done almost anywhere, although I would not recommend doing it while you are driving.

In an effort to offer what I can to help in this time of upheaval here is a link to a simple but an effective way to practice some mindfulness in you day.

According to spiritual teacher Jeff Foster:

Regret is the longing to change the past. Fear is the desire to control the future. Peace is the surrender to Now.

Surrender to Now. How do we surrender to Now? We accept what is and we move ahead. Surrender doesn’t mean we approve or like what is happening. It means we focus on solutions instead of problems – what can we DO? WE can take action with love and peace. We can become active in the causes we support. We can spread joy and love and peace in our home, among our friends, in our community. To do this we must be mindful. Here are three ways to find mindfulness even in the most stressful times.:

Source: Three Ways to Find Mindfulness Today | You Know Neen

Do You Have An “Easy” Baby?

Posted on June 7, 2016 by llpitlwp

Do You Have An “Easy” Baby?

Every child is a different assignment — and we can all pay lip service to that cheerfully enough. But the hard thing to believe is how different the assignments can be. Within the range of developmentally normal children, some parents have a much, much harder job than others: more drudge work, less gratification, more public shaming. It sometimes feels like the great undiscussed secret of pediatrics — and of parenting. Babies and children are different, assignments are different, and we spend a lot of time patting ourselves on the back — as parents and as pediatricians — when the easy babies and toddlers behave like themselves, and a lot of time agonizing and assigning blame when the more difficult kids run true to form. We talk a lot about temperament in my line of work. We look at where a child — or an adult — falls along a set of axes. High activity to low activity. Adapts easily to adapts with difficulty. Intensity, mood, attention span. And while no one would argue that these are fixed and immutable traits, it’s also true that — again, as every parent and teacher knows all too well — you can’t possibly make child A into child B. You work with the temperament you’re given — it’s the assignment. And some assignments are harder than others.

Source: Some Babies Are Just Easier Than Others – The New York Times

How do you know if you have an easy baby? Here are some things you might say…

“He rarely cries”…
“He sleeps well”…
“He eats well”…

Babies are people and they come in different sizes and temperaments . Temperament sometimes defines how “easy” or “difficult” your child seems to be. Your temperament also determines how you respond to your child. It really makes total sense.

On one of the popular baby sites at the end of every post, there is a statement that all babies are individuals and develop and respond to their environments differently. Developmental timelines are guidelines for monitoring your child’s growth and development each baby will differ, some more than others and that is usually expected and okay.

As most parents can attest every child is very different and there are so many variables that go into making this statement true.

So when your child has a meltdown in the middle of Target and people are staring at you try to understand that they may have had an “easy” child and it really was not a reflection of how “great” and “skillful” a parent they were. Parents young and old are quick to judge those with “difficult” children.

Grandparents who indulge are not the reason grandkids are “difficult”, parents who are strict or lenient are not the reason their young children behave better at times. It is related to temperament and combining an understanding of each child and their individual needs that help a child modulate their behavior when necessary as they grow and develop.

If you have an “easy assignment” as a parent…be empathic with those parents and grandparents who are dealing with a more difficult assignment. Your next child or grandchild could be more challenging.

Nine Month-Old Baby Development

Posted on June 6, 2016 by llpitlwp

Baby Development at 9 Months Old!

At nine months of age you may notice that your baby has developed what is commonly referred to as “separation anxiety”.

This can be troubling for parents, who do not realize this is a perfectly normal stage of development. Fortunately there are little things you can do to help your child with his anxiety around “strangers”.

If your baby is showing an extreme attachment to you or his dad and refuses to have anything to do with anyone else take care, as this is so very common but can make it difficult for you to leave him even with his grandparents.

Sometime between 4-7 months, babies develop a sense of object permanence and begin to learn that things and people exist even when they’re out of sight. This is when babies start playing the “dropsy” game — dropping things over the side of the high chair and expecting an adult to pick them up (which, once retrieved, get dropped again!). The same thing occurs with a parent. Babies realize that there’s only mom or dad, and when they can’t see you, that means you’ve gone away. And most don’t yet yet understand the concept of time so they do not know if or when you’ll come back. Whether you’re in the kitchen, in the next bedroom, or at the office, it’s all the same to your baby. You’ve disappeared, and your child will do whatever he or she can to prevent this from happening.

separationAnxiety2_enSB

Source: Separation Anxiety

Easing your child’s separation anxiety can be anxiety producing more for you as the parents, since it then makes it difficult to leave little one, even if it is to just run errands.

There are a couple of ways to deal with leaving your child. Help him transition by having caregivers approach slowly and let him make the initial move toward them, giving him his blanket or pacifier as this is something soothing to him and helps him cope with his own anxiety. Sucking is his way of calming and soothing himself.

At this time, travel and strange environments may be more difficult with your little one as well. Being in new places around new faces can disrupt his sense of predictability and security. He may become cranky and clingy. Having books and toys available as well as his blanket or security object (transitional object) around may help him ease into new situations while traveling. He will also need to decompress so make sure you spend some one on one time with him to help him do this.

This is a fun age so try to enjoy him and what he is experiencing at the moment.

Source: Your 9-month-old’s development: Week 1 | BabyCenter