End the Mommy Wars Please!

Mommy Wars…No More!

This is a sponsored post. I am a Partner in the Sisterhood of Motherhood from Similac. Thanks for supporting Parenting in the Loop.

Sisterhood of Motherhood End Mommy Wars

I love social media and good discussions but when it turns to a “war” of words over how moms are raising their children I want to scream!

Instead of shunning the Mommy Wars I am trying to be part of the solution and #EndMommyWars by participating as a proud partner in Similac’s Sisterhood of Motherhood.

  • What about you all?
  • Are you sick of moms criticizing each other like I am?
  • What experiences have you had with critical moms while trying to raise your kids?

If you like you can share your Mommy Wars Story at Similac on the Similac Facebook page via a short selfie video.

Sharing and helping to let other moms know that they are not alone in their moments of happiness and struggle is to me one of the greatest advantages of social media.

So lets help each other out and share our stories! Let’s end the mommy wars with this hashtag .  #EndMommyWars!

“Share your mommy war story on the Similac Facebook page using #EndMommyWars.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cy-xB-hHHGo&feature=em-upload_owner

 

 

Mothers all in this Together #SisterhoodUnite

Mothers, all in this together!

Go to the Similac Facebook page and share the one thing you will do to help end the mommy wars.

 

This post is a sponsored by Similac. Thank you for supporting Parenting in the Loop

I am so proud to be selected to participate as a Partner in Similac’s

The Sisterhood of Motherhood”.

Mothers We are all in the Sisterhood of Motherhood

 

Moms and dads should make room for #SisterhoodUnite in their parenting lives. Similac’s video unites us all together as parents trying our best to nourish and support our babies.

Parenting is the most difficult work we will ever engage in. It can also be the effort for which we experience the most judgement and negative criticism. This is sad!

So Let’s Change This!

Personally, I don’t remember too much criticism of my parenting skills as a young mom. What I do recall was many good intentioned suggestions of my aunt regarding a crying hungry newborn. She was adamant about offering a 3 week old rice cereal to help with sleeping through the night. Of course it did not help and it was clearly much more trouble than it was worth. It was a kind effort of mothers helping a new mother but it could have unglued me if I had let it. At the time I did not have a strong supportive

Sisterhood of Motherhood.

However, my husband and I were  aware of the criticism of other parents, who questioned why we would leave a town when our children were in high school and junior high, such a crucial time during adolescence.

The criticism that affected me most was as the mom of teenagers. We lived in a small village where everyone had something to say about other parents and their kids.

We were a three generation household. My elderly mom lived with us. It was clear we needed a new house with a first floor bedroom and bath to accommodate her needs. Instead of staying in our community we moved 45 minutes away and our girls had to change schools. They were in high school and 8th grade, a time that it is difficult for major changes like moving out of your town. They were apprehensive about moving but remained happy albeit anxious to move to their new house and neighborhood.

As was expected there were adjustments and we made them somewhat seamlessly. The girls kept in touch with their friends from their old house and still keep in touch to this day.

To this day I wonder what would have been different if we had let them remain in their respective schools until graduation and had not moved. Would they have gone to different colleges. What would life had been like… sort of a “Back to the Future” runs through my mind every now and then. I also wonder if I would have remained in touch with my friends from my “old” neighborhood instead of feeling the brunt of criticism.

It feels horrible to be judged by other moms and dads but it happens all the time.  It is also contagious and I catch myself being judgmental at times too.

How can we stop the “mommy wars”?

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Personally, I am going to reach out with a smile and something positive to moms, grandma’s and dads whom I meet casually each day while doing my routines like grocery shopping and running errands. There are many times when I see a mom struggling even to  get a stroller through a doorway at the mall and no one helps her. I’m not sure why this happens but I am going to be more aware and step in to help if I can.

So Mothers and Grandmothers make your hashtag #SisterhoodUnite and come together in the Sisterhood of Motherhood!

Also please join me in welcoming the Duff sisters, Hilary and Haylie to the Sisterhood of Motherhood Partnership. Celebrities experience so much scrutiny when it comes to parenting their children. No one is immune!

This post was sponsored by Similac but all thoughts and opinions are my own.

Don’t forget head on over to Sisterhood of Motherhood Facebook and share what you are going to do to end the mommy wars!

Motherhood we are all in this Together.

SISTERHOOD OF MOTHERHOOD

This post is a sponsored  by Similac.

Thank you for supporting Parenting in the Loop

#UniteMonday

I am so proud to be selected to participate as a Brand Ambassador in Similac’s “The Sisterhood of Motherhood”.

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As a young mom I had expectations of what a mom should be which set my path each day as I struggled to take care of my two children 23 months apart in age. Super imposed upon my high mom standards for myself were also my desire to be the “good wife” as well. My plate was more than full. At times difficult to digest all I had bitten off.

I was also a maternal.child, pediatric nurse so I knew and had personally witnessed what could happen if you relaxed your standards especially your safety ones. That alone created in me some serious anxiety which I kept hidden from everyone except my husband.

It was not easy to be a “green” mom. By that I mean, this was all new grass I was trodding upon and I wanted it to grow and flourish in spite of my insecurities and anxieties. Little did I know there were many other moms just like myself and we all suffered from our own self imposed standards. There were no mom bloggers, no mom blogs for that matter there was no internet! However I did watch my favorite stories (soap operas) each afternoon at nap time.   The characters were my “friends”, even though I could not talk to them or ask them questions or even comment on their problems. Their lives were of course nothing like my own but it was definitely an escape from the mom and housewife mental institution known as my home at the time.

In the two years following my marriage I delivered two children. They were raised in the 80’s, 90’s. and were born in Miami Florida. It was another world from where I worked in New York City. Even though I had a lot of newborn experience I had no idea what to do when my first born daughter was older than two weeks. I was literally lost thankfully my mother was staying with me and lived close by.

Both my babies were formula fed. The choice was made for me since I was taking Heparin, a drug which helps to prevent blood clots. It was a medication that would cause problems for babies as it passes through breast milk. Although I didn’t like not having a choice I was sort of okay with it because I had seen many moms struggling with breastfeeding and it just scared the living daylights out of me. I had no problem with formula and bottle feeding. For the most part in 1979 and 1981 there really was no judgment passed on my formula feeding decision by any of my mom friends. Actually, I was relieved  to bottle feed, since someone else could easily feed my daughter and I could get some much needed rest.

Living in South Florida alongside many retirees created a different set of problems.They were a judgmental bunch. A brief story comes to mind. One afternoon I was taken by surprise when I took my daughters to Lord and Taylor and decided to have lunch. Pushing my double stroller I approached the hostess and asked for a table, her retired old self felt the need to ask me if I was going to breast feed at the table. What a relief came over her face when I said “no”.

I am not sure what she would have done if I had said yes but I am sure I would have been told to go to the ladies lounge to feed my child.

This anecdote seems like an eternity ago, although it is no longer 1980 some of the reactions of other moms and grandmas are not all too different today. Surprisingly some attitudes about where a mom should breast feed have not changed . What has definitely changed though is the fact that more moms are breastfeeding and they themselves have become judgmental about how important breastfeeding is in a newborn’s life. Some moms think you are not being a good mom if you do not breastfeed your child and they don’t refrain from voicing this opinion online, or in person. Actually the internet seems to have become the official boxing ring for these critics.

I am now a grandmother and my ideas of what defines motherhood have become less rigid. They are no longer written in pen they are all written in pencil to be changed at a moment’s notice. There is no room for much judgment of my new relaxed standards when it comes to my grandchildren

Grandparents can  sometimes have more fun than parents because they have learned along the way that when it comes to raising a child there are very few things that need to be written in stone. We understand what it means to be a mom from a lens that comes with age. and experience. Thank God for this fact.

One of the best parts of grandmotherhood is being able to enjoy grandchildren with out the pressure from within that comes along with being a new mom. From the inception of my blog I have tried to share and support this generation of moms in the day to day. It is a kind of support that my generation of moms did not have.

I feel so fortunate to be included in Similac’s #Sisterhood of Motherhood  initiative.It is an honor to be featured with some today’s moms

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It is my hope that on this #UniteMonday moms will recognize the fact that we are all in this together to support, nourish, accept and unite every mom who is raising a child. Grandmothers have an important role here as well. There is a loop of parenting and that loop starts with grandmothers and continues with moms and children. We are forever adding to the parenting loop every time a child is born to a new mom and makes another mom a grandmother.

Please get in the “loop” this #UniteMonday and share your parenting stories in comments and on FB and nourish, support and unite other moms!

Thank you Similac and #UniteMonday for recognizing moms.

This post was sponsored by Similac but all thoughts and opinions are my own.