Babies and Sleep…

Interesting interview about sleep, parenting and children.

Dr. Lieber shares some key information about babies and sleep. He mentions one of my favorite books on sleep…“Healthy Sleep Habits…Happy Child by Dr. Mark Weisbluth.

I hear more discussions among young moms about how good or how poorly their babies and they are not sleeping.

I love the area of babies and sleep …maybe because as babies, my own children were good sleepers. At the time, I did not know too much  about what makes for a good sleeper…but I was a mom with a routine and I recognized my baby’s sleep cues. Luck was big part!

Since then, I have made good sleep habits and sleep help one of my interests in the care and treatment of babies and children.

Please enjoy this interview from Mamapedia with Dr. Andrew Lieber, M.D.

 My favorite excerpt from the interview:

Dr. Lieber:  “parenting children involves long days but short years” 

via Expert Advice on Babies and Sleep – Mamapedia™ Voices.

Week in Review….Parenting in the Loop

  • Highlights of the week…sharing some of the reads of the last few days.

Kendal, an engaging girl who looks about 11 years old, is wearing a koala bear hat in the video she uploaded to YouTube. In it, she looks straight at the camera, explaining that “I just wanted to make a random video seeing if I was, like, ugly or not, because a lot of people call me ugly and I think I am ugly.”

If you have spent any time with young children, you will be likely be completely familiar with the way that they can stay in the moment, focusing solely on whatever has caught their attention with all of their being.

BRAIN. This simple, easy-to-remember tool will help you make solid, informed decisions about your options even in the most complicated situations!

Have a wonderful weekend from Parenting in the Loop.

How toxic is your life???

Mom as EPA in her home…toxins and kids…what do you do to protect your family from toxins in the home?

Are you obsessed over having a green environment in your home?

Or do you have a more moderate approach to your household environment?

Or are you laissez-faire about the stuff that comes and goes in your home?

It is hard to be oblivious to the efforts of many folks who are trying to stay local and buy local, and who are concerned about toxins in their food and in their homes. But is it healthy to obsess over being “organic”, “green” and “sustainable” while trying to work, raise kids and take care of yourself?

For me…I fall somewhere between a moderate and a laissez-faire depending upon, what day it is, what I have recently read about our polluted environment, and how much energy I have to devote to any one cause.

I admit, I do buy organic (not everything) and I make an effort to avoid the “dirty dozen” foods. To do this, I either avoid those produce items or I purchase the organic ones.

We know certain chemicals are surely hazardous to our well being and many of us trust the EPA here in the United States to protect us from unnecessary exposure to carcinogens etc. But is this enough?

Most certainly not but how much time are you willing to devote to wearing the EPA hat in your house?

If you don’t like your odds of cleaning up Washington, start at home. The best primer may be “Raising Healthy Children in a Toxic World” by Dr. Philip J. Landrigan, director of the Children’s Environmental Health Center at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York, and two other authors. It’s a decade old now, and plenty of chemical scares have come and gone. Still, the book offers comprehensive checklists: for the nursery, the bathroom, the neighborhood and the day care center. How can you keep lead out of your child’s sandbox? What nastiness lingers inside a toddler’s art box? What do you know about your drinking water?

via Going to Extreme Lengths to Purge Household Toxins – NYTimes.com.

Work-Life Integration or Balance?

NOTEWORTHY WEDNESDAY!

I recently read an article about work-life integration…which is different from work-life balance.

Simply put, I found the discussion, integration of work-life, fascinating especially, the writer’s narrative of his conversation with an airport parking lot toll booth worker.

Every day when my children were small I felt the stress of trying to balance being a mother, wife, nurse and daughter.

There was a calendar stuck on my kitchen wall which said it all…appointments, school work, after school activities, dinners, business meetings, a true yearly diary tracking my daily doings.

Even when things were going smoothly…like no one was sick…or traveling it seemed overwhelming. But if anything was the least bit out of whack then my balancing act was way off. It was a true life tight-rope walk.

Twenty years later …things have changed…NOT really!

I am now a grandmother…

and am actively engaged in helping my daughter with her daughter.

In addition, I write…

I try to run a somewhat smooth household,

I try to take care of my aging self…

and I keep the same wall calendar

as when I was juggling a different three generational family constellation.

How do I view myself these days?

I would have to say, for the major part of my day…I am family focused …

my work as a social worker/nurse/writer fills in the down time that I make for myself which is either early in the morning, or at night.

My description of me???

“Juggler”…of work and life…

That is…somewhere between balanced and integrated.

Most days, I kind of like being a juggler.

With the wisdom that comes with age it is simply easier to prioritize…

I look at life holistically …

“juggling” my own needs, the needs of my family and the extraneous things as best I can.

What is your idea of work-life balance?

How we view ourselves plays a critical part in integrating work/life roles. Do you mostly identify yourself as work-focused, family-focused, some combination of those two–or something else altogether? Hint: don’t answer this one the way you think you should answer it; be honest with yourself..

So here are a few key takeaways. First, do not try to balance anything. Second, try to integrate instead, which requires some real awareness of your preferred behaviors, self-identity, and sense of control. You need to dedicate some time to figuring out those preferences. Finally, there’s no “right” way to create an integrated life. The possibilities of what success looks like are as endless as the potential plot lines in a parking lot booth operator’s novel.

via Strive For Work-Life Integration, Not Balance | Fast Company.

 

Related articles:

http://eof737.wordpress.com/2012/03/22/musings-creating-balance-in-life/

Toddlers and the “No” Word!

I recently read a blog post by Lisa Sunbury  about how often we use the word , “No” when dealing with our own children.

It amazed me,  especially as I began to listen to parents while I was out shopping and running errands …but more importantly I began listening to myself as I spoke to my own granddaughter during any given day.

I say the “no” word more than I would like to admit.

The word “no” should have real meaning when you say it especially to a child. If you repeat the word “no” over and over it really loses its effectiveness when you really need a child to listen.

Here are some of my tips to fight over use of, “No” with toddlers.

  • Try to recognize what the child is doing and call attention to it. For example…”You are walking on the sofa”.
  •  Next explain that sofas are for sitting or laying down…”we walk on the floor and we sit on chairs and sofas”.
  • Ask for his cooperation and help with keeping the sofa clean by not walking on it.

One of the hardest times of the day with a toddler is just around dinner time…it is no different in our house. Usually there are several requests for cookies or something that will spoil her dinner. Instead of a curt “No..no crackers right now” which then turns into a whining match, this is my new response,

“I know you want some cookies but we are going to have dinner in just a little bit…can you help me get it ready? You can have some cookies after dinner”.

Sometimes this strategy buys a little time but it definitely takes the word “No” out of the conversation.

Lisa Sunbury has some 6 Tips to avoid the word “No”.

  • Rephrase your request in a positive way: Instead of  saying, “No, don’t run,”  try, “Please walk inside.”
  • Let your child know what he may do instead of  telling him what he can’t do:
  • Ask for your child’s help and thank him when he gets it right:  Instead of,  ”I said no yelling!” try lowering your own voice and saying, “Thank you for remembering to speak softly while your baby sister is sleeping.”
  • Explain the reason for your request, and  state what behavior you want to see instead: Instead of  saying, “No, don’t________ ,” try stating,  ”I want you to_____________ because__________. “No, don’t bang on the table,” becomes, “I want you to stop banging on the table because the sound it makes is loud, and it’s hurting my ears.”
  •  Use “sportscasting”  to say what you see: Instead of saying, “No throwing food!” try saying, “You’re throwing your food. That tells me you’re done eating, so I am going to put the food away now.”
  • If your child is hitting, kicking, or biting: Instead of saying, “No hitting/kicking/biting!” try saying, “Hitting/kicking/biting hurts! I won’t let you hit/kick/bite me. If you want to hit/kick/bite, you may hit the floor (or these pillows)/kick this ball/bite this teething ring.”

Recently we have been watching the Disney movie, “Enchanted“. There is a short scene where, Giselle is complaining to Robert that he is always saying …”No”.

It takes on more meaning for me when I read this on Google and after reading Lisa’s post.

A UCLA survey from a few years ago reported that the average one year old child hears the word, No!, more than 400 times a day! You may, at first, think this must be an exaggeration but consider this…when we tell a toddler No! we usually say, No, no, no!.

via Google Answers: Hearing the word “No” as a child.

Lisa Sunbury’s blog is a remarkable resource for parents and their children. It is my hope this post which includes only a snippet of her work with kids and parents inspires you to connect with her work.

Help To Find a Breastfeeding-Supportive Hospital

If you are planning on a hospital delivery and on breastfeeding there are questions you might want to ask when you tour the hospital. Supportive breastfeeding leads to successful breastfeeding.

Hospitals can vary very much in their support of the breastfeeding mother. The first few days of baby’s life is so important in the over all successful establishment of breastfeeding.

Arming yourself with good questions and getting the answers from the hospital staff will prepare you for what you will have to do to ensure a good feeding experience for you and your baby.

Some suggestions for a question list:

  • Ask your hospital if they are a  Baby Friendly hospital i.e.. do they follow Unicef guidelines when it comes to breastfeeding?
  • What kid of lactation support does the hospital offer?
  • Do they give the moms formula free diaper bags?
  • Do they initiate breastfeeding and skin to skin contact immediately after delivery?
  • What is the breast feeding policy in the NICU

viaTop 10 Questions to Help You Find a Breastfeeding-Supportive Hospital | Best for Babes.

In my opinion, parents-to-be can never have too much information prior to the birth of their child.

Knowing what questions to ask is part of getting the information that you need at this time of transition to parenthood.

Week in Review…Parenting In The Loop

Highlights of the week…sharing some of the videos and reads of the last few days.

via Would You Call My Child A Retard? – YouTube.

Daylight Savings and Your Child’s Sleep”

“Stop saying good job to your kids!”

Let me know what you think…

Have a great weekend and thanks for reading!

Breastfeeding Is Health, Not Lifestyle Choice …

THURSDAY, March 1, 2012 MedPage Today — Every infant should begin life with six months of exclusive breastfeeding, followed by another six months or longer with other foods gradually added to the childs diet, according to an updated policy statement from the American Academy of Pediatrics.

These statistics are stunning…take a look at the link below:

via Breastfeeding Is Health, Not Lifestyle Choice – Pregnancy 101 – EverydayHealth.com.

Why’s The Lorax upsetting…

The Lorax Preview

I may be one of the few who do not know the Dr. Seuss story  “The Lorax“…I am now wondering how parents know about the controversy that surrounded the publication of this Seuss book in the 70’s.

In March,”The Lorax”  movie version will premiere in theaters and the controversy continues or does it?

In the 70’s Seuss’s book was considered too liberal and anti industry as it metaphorically  criticized the logging industry and the its lack of environmental concern.

Today, the movie is being criticized by some because of it’s pro-green slant while the environmentalists claim that the movie has actually lost its green edge.

Today’s movie version takes a “movie” license with the story according to “Rotten Tomatoes

The 3D-CGI feature Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax is an adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ classic tale of a forest creature who shares the enduring power of hope. The animated adventure follows the journey of a boy as he searches for the one thing that will enable him to win the affection of the girl of his dreams. To find it he must discover the story of the Lorax, the grumpy yet charming creature who fights to protect his world. — (C) Universal

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_lorax/

The questions bothering me…”in today’s world, is this movie worthy of such controversy given the state of the environment?”

“Can we not say enough about environmental issues?”

If commercialism is here to stay…and I believe it is, then as parents and grandparents we will have to guide our children through the sometimes ugly maze it creates.

Choosing what battles to fight is essential…instead of devoting all this negative energy opposing the “supposed” hidden agenda of a movie aimed at children but quite appropriate for their parents and grandparents should we not channel this energy into arming our kids with age related explanations of these classic “fables of childhood”.

When is it too old for the men’s locker room???

In honor of Leap Year!

I am digging into my archives this Wednesday and revisiting my most popular post. What do you think about this question? What has been your experience with a situation such as this? I would love to hear from you!

Noteworthy Wednesday!

via: Flickr: Heather Poole

I went swimming at the Y.M.C.A. Later, in the men’s locker room, a father walked in with his daughter. Occasionally, this happens with babies or toddlers, but the girl was 7 or 8. He put her in a shower stall while he showered, and left her there while he shaved and flossed. Then he brought her to the lockers, where they changed. I was appalled. What do you make of this?

via Too Old for the Men’s Locker Room – Social Q’s – NYTimes.com.

This question appeared in the Sunday NYTimes and it truly raised questions for me.

I have often thought about this dilemma especially when I see kids out for the day with their dads.

Interestingly, I don’t always think about this when I see kids with their moms!

But  back to dad and the “Y” locker room. This scene raises concerns for me…granted, I have not visited a men’s locker room but the women’s locker room is certainly an experience. Some women walk around naked, others cover-up as best they can…they usually do not spend any unnecessary time in the locker room…shower, change, pack up and leave. When young children are with their moms, from my observations, they get changed and leave in fairly short order most of the time.

For me, it seems this dad took entirely too much time while his daughter was hanging out in the men’s locker room.

My own “yuk” feeling is coming to the surface here. Exposing children to other naked adults, personally, makes me uncomfortable. I would have to think of another way of doing my toilette if I were in a similar situation.

  • What do you do when your opposite-sex child has to use a public restroom?
  • At what age should children be allowed to use the public restroom by themselves?
  • What public restrooms would make you think twice about letting your child use it without accompaniment?
  • More importantly…what do you teach them ahead of time to “protect” them.?
  • Do you teach your boys the same as you teach your girls?
  • Is this more of a “Dad Dilemma” than a “Mom Moment”?

Like I said, I used the “YUK” feeling factor to help me in these situations.

My feeling is by 7 or 8 years of age many kids have been in some type of locker room situation at school but “Y” locker rooms of the opposite sex seem to be an altogether different story.

It would be interesting to hear other responses to this issue and how parents deal with this common life situation.