Blog Boundaries, Where Do You Draw the Line?

Posted on August 20, 2012 by llpitlwp

Volleying Back and Forth with Comments

BLOGGER BOUNDARIES

This past week I have been following Christine Coppa’s blog on Babble.com. Christine’s blog is one that I have “toasted” to in my Tuesday posts. One of her recent posts has stirred up a lot of her reader, me being one of them.

As you may know, I am a clinical social worker, a maternal child nurse and a blogger. I have worked with families and children for over 35 years. Since I began blogging, I have been reading many blogs written by moms, Christine’s blog being one of them.

Some of these moms write for Babble.com and other blog groups. They write from their perspective and many are personal. Some topics are of course more controversial than others and generate more interest and comments.

More than a week ago, Christine Coppa wrote a piece about whether parents should split the costs of a birthday party. What followed in the comments violated my idea of boundaries. Many of the comments were totally unrelated to the initial discussion. They were commenters’ personal feelings towards the father of Christine’s son, who for his own reasons chooses not to recognize his son. One commenter bashed Christine and her family in uncalled for ways.

For whatever reason, Babble’s editors chose to support Christine’s wish to keep these comments on her site even though they stated that their policy is to not publish hostile comments.

There were a handful of comments including my own that felt this line of commenting was not only unpleasant but that it could be potentially harmful to Christine’s 5 year old son in the future. It was said in several comments that this kind of back and forth “slinging” of angry words would be better kept private.

Needless to say for various reasons this was Christine Coppa’s most viewed Babble blog. I am not sure what that says, after reading most of the comments which had nothing to do with the original topic. To me it was an airing of dirty laundry, which generated the popularity of this post and at whose expense?

I have often thought about boundaries when it comes to airing one’s life on a blog and it seems that it gets even more complicated when you are getting paid to do so and it involves a young child.

I also do not find it appropriate when the blogger/writer gets hostile in her own comments. I lose respect for the writer at that point especially where a young child is concerned. The comments that were made with concern for JD and the effect this might have on him in the future were met with anger although I did see some acceptance of the comment from a lawyer who deals with families in conflict. One of my comments was not even published and I am not sure why.

I also sent a message to Babble via their Facebook page asking why they did not uphold their own policies in this case especially where a young child is involved. I have gotten no response so far.

Are numbers of readers so important to a blog that a child’s boundaries are all but ignored?

Do you think that boundaries are important for mom/dad bloggers who discuss personal family issues? Do you have concern for the possible long range effects of this type of blog on children?

I would be happy to hear your opinions?

NOTE:

I will continue to support Ms. Coppa’s blog even though I disagree wholeheartedly the way this comment section was handled. I am disappointed in the Babble editors decision.

8/20/2012

http://blogs.babble.com/kid-scoop/2012/08/09/should-parents-split-the-birthday-party-fee/

I visited the link above and the very hostile comments have been removed from this particular post at “Kid Scoop”. Without these comments, it will be difficult to fully appreciate what I wrote in the above post.

I am glad that the comments are no longer able to be viewed.

Week in Review – Parenting in the Loop…”Christine Coppa is Back”

Posted on June 1, 2012 by llpitlwp

Today is June 1 ….so Christine Coppa is back with a new blog at Babble-Kids.

She will be my only recommendation in Week in Review…from Parenting in the Loop.

I have spoken of her in the past… she is remarkable and is so much more than a single mom…please join me in welcoming her to Babble-Kids.

Single Mom Blogger On Babble Kids | Kid Scoop.

Toast Tuesday!

Posted on May 22, 2012 by llpitlwp

It’s Tuesday’s Toast to a favorite blogger of mine….Christine Coppa!

: via”Christine Coppa on her Facebook page”

Christine is a young single mom, her son is almost five and about to start kindergarten in the Fall. She has an honest blog about raising her son without any involvement of his father. She has courageously written about her pregnancy in “Rattled” which has just been released as an audio book.

I love Christine’s book and blog…she really is one of my all time favorites…she tells it like it is with emotion and candor. I admire and respect her, and love the relationship she has with her son JD.

She has a great group of followers and their comments on her blog will let you know that she connects with her readers like none other.

She is active on Facebook and Twitter as well. Click and take a look/read for yourself.

About this BlogChristine Coppa is the author of the Target Breakout Book, Rattled! Broadway Books, 2009 and the founding blogger of glamour.coms Storked! blog. A professional writer/editor, shes contributed to Glamour, Marie Claire Australia, First, In Touch, and Pregnancy magazine among other publications. Her work has been buzzed about in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal and on ABCs 20/20. The Sunday London Times called her a writer “at the forefront of a wave of modern moms who are reinventing the parental publishing genre.” Coppa lives in North Jersey with her son Jack Domenic and has no problem admitting that her Marc Jacobs bag is often filled with Matchbox cars. Visit ChristineCoppa.net for more.

via Welcome To Mamas Boy – Parenting.com.

Single Mothers – Single Parenting

Posted on November 2, 2011 by llpitlwp

NOTEWORTHY WEDNESDAY!

Single parents can be the best…and their children can flourish.

I admit to being bias in this discussion… my mother was a single parent.

She was divorced from my father, she worked and had the help of my grandmother…who was the “stay at home mom“.

My “Nana” was always home for me while my mother was working two jobs to make ends meet. I did homework with my mom on the telephone… I remember her teaching me fractions.

I knew things were different in my home but I never felt deprived even though I went to a private school where my friends were kids who lived in houses with big backyards…they had their own rooms and their moms were able to participate in school activities…they had dads that came home at night and had dinner with them. My life was different but not deprived

Although there were other single moms in our apartment building…I would not say that the ones I knew considered themselves role models…they were all struggling to keep life moving along smoothly for their kids.

But these women were my role models…I learned from these women that moms could hold a family together…they could work and be moms at the same time.

Grandmothers and aunts and uncles were important too…the extended family was present and accounted for.

In the 50’s and 60’s single moms did not draw attention to themselves…there were so many reasons for this…religion and in my mother’s life Catholicism was one big factor. The Church frowned on and condemned divorce. She was a practicing Catholic.

A single parent support system outside of the extended family was minimal as there was no internet or social media. So lets hear it for social media as a plus for keeping single parents connected.

If moms were breathing they got custody in divorce decisons…shared custody was unheard of…I saw my father on the weekends…we had lunch and visited with the “other grandparents”.

But my role models were my grandmother and my mother…both of whom showed me that women were strong…selfless…and could love and take care of children without a dad in the house.

I support single parenthood and I admire women who choose to raise their children without a significant other.

High fives to all of you.

I am including an excerpt from Christine Coppa, a single mom, who writes about her adventures raising her son. She is a seriously concerned mom and writes with a great sense of responsibility and humor. You can find her on Facebook and blogging. Also check out her book “Rattled”.

Single parents and their kids can flourish, and there are plenty of examples to prove it. Make a list of single parents—or children raised by a single parent—who inspire you, and refer to it when you’re having a rough day. Some of the people on my list include President Obama, who was raised by his single mom and grandparents; President Clinton, who was brought up primarily by his mom; and actress Bridget Moynahan, who went through her pregnancy alone after splitting from Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. I’m not just inspired by celebrities though; my real life friend Matt who blogs at mattlogelin.com about unexpected single fatherhood is another confidence booster for me. Seeing all of these success stories and many more unfold before my eyes is proof that single parenthood is not only manageable, but an incredible gift that allows me to shape my son into a wonderful human being.

If you need more inspiration, check out the book Holding Her Head High: 12 Single

via Help for Single Mothers – Single Parenting Advice – Parenting.com.

Other Sources: Moving Guide for Single Parents