From the Los Angeles Times:
Mothers buy into freeze-frame parenting
Instructed to play with my baby, Max, for 20 minutes while he sat in an infant seat, no toys allowed, I pulled out every trick in the book.
The full story can be viewed at: http://www.latimes.com/la-he-mother-baby-20111031,0,7410941.story?track=latiphoneapp
Get the Los Angeles Times iPhone app from iTunes: http://www.itunes.com/apps/latimes
Veteran’s Day 2011
Here is where I was on 11/11/11.
I was picking up food for dinner…
My family was a very military one so I try to carry on the tradition by keeping that spirit alive and well whenever I can.
Today, I made a trip to the local AMVETS center and made a donation…
May all our troops remain safe and may they return home soon!
NOTEWORTHY WEDNESDAY!
Forget everything you may have read about coping with children‘s temper tantrums. Time-outs, sticker charts, television denial—for many, none of these measures will actually result in long-term behavior change, according to researchers at two academic institutions.
Whether a child has violent temper tantrums or is extremely clingy, their behaviors can be curbed, according to child psychologists at Yale University and King’s College London. Shirley Wang has details on Lunch Break.
Instead, a set of techniques known as “parent management training” is proving so helpful to families struggling with a child’s unmanageable behavior that clinicians in the U.S. and the U.K. are starting to adopt them.
via Tantrum Tamer: New Ways Parents Can Stop Bad Behavior – WSJ.com.
Parents can control bad behavior if they are consistent with their approach to their child’s meltdowns.
This is not easy and many parents may become frustrated and revert to their “old” approaches before they actually see positive results.
My personal favorite book on the subject of children’s behavior especially that of toddlers is “The Happiest Toddler on the Block” by Dr. Harvey Karp. It is easy to read and follow…my copy is totally dog-eared. I absolutely endorse his “Fast Food Response” to the toddler’s demanding demons.
You see, he says…toddlers lack the maturity and sometimes I do as well, to express what they really want …so a tantrum is the best way to get it.
Dr. Karp tells us to verbally recognize what the child actually wants…this usually gets the toddler to respond by suddenly stopping in his tracks…this is the time to inject some choices (not too many) or an alternative.
Why this works? Simple… it disarms the child…he gets his needs validated, understood and respected.
Really it works…I have tried it.
Dr. Karp makes a point here though, that is very important….if the toddler is doing something dangerous…you cannot use this approach…you must remove him from the unsafe situation and then move into the “FFR” (Fast Food Response)
So, there is hope for tantrums…remember “meltdowns are not pleasant for the child either.
Be patient and consistent and get help, you will probably need it…but trust me, it will be worth the effort in the end.
NOTEWORTHY WEDNESDAY!
Single parents can be the best…and their children can flourish.
I admit to being bias in this discussion… my mother was a single parent.
She was divorced from my father, she worked and had the help of my grandmother…who was the “stay at home mom“.
My “Nana” was always home for me while my mother was working two jobs to make ends meet. I did homework with my mom on the telephone… I remember her teaching me fractions.
I knew things were different in my home but I never felt deprived even though I went to a private school where my friends were kids who lived in houses with big backyards…they had their own rooms and their moms were able to participate in school activities…they had dads that came home at night and had dinner with them. My life was different but not deprived
Although there were other single moms in our apartment building…I would not say that the ones I knew considered themselves role models…they were all struggling to keep life moving along smoothly for their kids.
But these women were my role models…I learned from these women that moms could hold a family together…they could work and be moms at the same time.
Grandmothers and aunts and uncles were important too…the extended family was present and accounted for.
In the 50’s and 60’s single moms did not draw attention to themselves…there were so many reasons for this…religion and in my mother’s life Catholicism was one big factor. The Church frowned on and condemned divorce. She was a practicing Catholic.
A single parent support system outside of the extended family was minimal as there was no internet or social media. So lets hear it for social media as a plus for keeping single parents connected.
If moms were breathing they got custody in divorce decisons…shared custody was unheard of…I saw my father on the weekends…we had lunch and visited with the “other grandparents”.
But my role models were my grandmother and my mother…both of whom showed me that women were strong…selfless…and could love and take care of children without a dad in the house.
I support single parenthood and I admire women who choose to raise their children without a significant other.
High fives to all of you.
I am including an excerpt from Christine Coppa, a single mom, who writes about her adventures raising her son. She is a seriously concerned mom and writes with a great sense of responsibility and humor. You can find her on Facebook and blogging. Also check out her book “Rattled”.
Single parents and their kids can flourish, and there are plenty of examples to prove it. Make a list of single parents—or children raised by a single parent—who inspire you, and refer to it when you’re having a rough day. Some of the people on my list include President Obama, who was raised by his single mom and grandparents; President Clinton, who was brought up primarily by his mom; and actress Bridget Moynahan, who went through her pregnancy alone after splitting from Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. I’m not just inspired by celebrities though; my real life friend Matt who blogs at mattlogelin.com about unexpected single fatherhood is another confidence booster for me. Seeing all of these success stories and many more unfold before my eyes is proof that single parenthood is not only manageable, but an incredible gift that allows me to shape my son into a wonderful human being.
If you need more inspiration, check out the book Holding Her Head High: 12 Single
via Help for Single Mothers – Single Parenting Advice – Parenting.com.
Other Sources: Moving Guide for Single Parents
As Halloween approaches there is always the dilemma of what to do with all the candy. Well, here is what I am going to do this year with my granddaughter’s haul complete with a “fairy witch’s tale”.
Have you heard about the Switch Witch? The Switch Witch is a great way to deal with all of that Halloween Candy.
The story goes like this: a child gets to eat all the candy they want up through Halloween night. On Halloween night, before the child goes to bed, s/he lays out all their candy for the Switch Witch. The Switch Witch comes when they are asleep and takes the candy and switches it for a toy. Ta da! Cavity-creating candy is gone and desirable new toy is there instead!
via The Switch Witch- what to do with halloween candy | A Child Grows.
RANT on “SPAM”
I simply cannot believe the amount of spam that I have encountered since beginning this blog.
Spammers…you will never appear in any of my comments since WordPress does an excellent job in scanning for spam.
I will never approve a comment if it is not worthwhile and you all know if your comments are worthwhile.
So spammers why don’t you go visit another site and quit leaving garbage on mine?
You are self-serving, aggravating individuals and businesses who have nothing to add to my site.
Good bye…
End of rant….
A Brooklyn Gallery was the chosen “birthing center” for this performance artist. It seems that the mom, who is an artist, delivered her son in the Gallery where she set up a birthing space similar to a home setting. It was her first baby and it seems that all went well with her labor and delivery.
As a maternal child nurse, I am always amazed when a woman chooses to deliver at home…because of my medical experience…I am afraid of “home births” no matter how well attended and how well planned they are.
But I do respect a mother’s choice…I recommend seeking an excellent support system and preparing a viable back-up plan should the unforeseen happen.
I am reserving my thoughts about the Brooklyn Gallery birth and whether or not it is life as art…I do find it fascinating that a woman would choose to share her experience in this way.
I never consciously thought about the art of birthing when I was assisting moms during labor and delivery…although I was always conscious that nursing care was an art and a science.
For me as a nurse, being present and assisting in the delivery of a baby was no less than a miracle each and every time.
I hope that those who see this exhibit in Brooklyn experience a little of that feeling.
The performance artist Marni Kotak gave birth to healthy 9 pound baby boy, Ajax, in front of a gallery audience yesterday.
via Performance Artist Births a Healthy Boy in a Brooklyn Gallery, as Planned | Being Pregnant.
NOTEWORTHY WEDNESDAY!
Although only a small percentage of children in the U.S. have reported food allergies it can be deadly for that small number.
It is important for those of us who are not affected by this problem to remain empathic for those that do ….
…..it can mean life or death within minutes of exposure.
With that being said, if your child has friends with allergies or your child, herself, has allergies it means that childhood parties and holiday celebrations at school can be problematic.
There are many ways to host an allergy free event…it may not be all that easy but well worth the effort.
I would urge any parent or grandparent to become familiar with common food allergies and the signs of an allergic reaction so that they can respond appropriately if necessary.
When in doubt if it is an allergic reaction….call 911…better to be safe than sorry!
So…I came across this information in the LA Times which might be helpful.
The latest research shows that 8 percent of children in the United States have food allergies, which means that even if your kid can eat her weight in PB&J or egg salad, she’ll probably have a friend who can’t.
Here are some tips from Beasley on how to host an allergy-friendly kids party:
1. On party invitations, mention upfront if there will be a food-centric theme, such as decorating your own pizza or assembling gingerbread houses.
2. If the parent of a food-allergic child contacts you before the party, offer to put out a “safe” dish (prepared by the parent and dropped off with the child) amid buffet items.
3. Choose dishware that comes in a variety of colors instead of a uniform print. This will help an allergic child avoid accidentally using someone else’s tainted cup or fork.
4. If traditional cake is being served, don’t make a big production out of cutting and handing a slice to each guest. If ice cream is being served, have a nondairy fruit sorbet on hand that can be substituted without drawing attention to the milk-allergic child.
5. If crafts will be a focal point, beware of common allergens that might be ingredients in art supplies, such as glue (milk), modeling clay (wheat) and tempera paints (egg).
6. Giving out goody bags? Be sure any food you include is thoroughly wrapped. Crumbs from a cookie or chocolate’s oils can contaminate the toys bundled beside it. Or leave out food altogether.
Andrea Pyros writes for the coupon site RetailMeNot.com.
Distributed by MCT Information Services
via Allergy friendly party: How to host a kids party – latimes.com.
NOTEWORTHY WEDNESDAY TUESDAY!
Halloween is one of my favorite holidays…I love the costumes,candy and I especially love the “little ones” coming to the door dressed up.
For the safety of the kids…the American Academy has issued safety tips for the holiday.
I like to review them to make sure I remember all the tricks that can make a happy holiday a real horror!
Giuliana Rancic has chronicled her attempts to get pregnant on her reality show, Giuliana & Bill, with husband Bill Rancic. Two in vitro fertilization treatments failed. On the season finale, they decided to try again.
Since I am a women’s advocate and nurse specialist I wanted to include this news about Giuliana Rancic.
She has been attempting to get pregnant through in vitro fertilization which requires a woman to receive hormones to mature her eggs in order for them to be harvested during the first process of in-vitro fertilization procedure.
These hormones can encourage the development of breast cancer…they do not necessarily cause breast cancer but if a cancer is lurking around, hormones may give it the necessary hormonal support that it needs to surface.
It is very lucky for Giuliana that her doctor insisted that she have a mammogram prior to further in-vitro procedures.
I wish her well in her battle with breast cancer…she caught it early and seems to have good support and a hopeful attitude towards her complete recovery.
Women seeking to become pregnant should always make sure that they are taking care of themselves by having routine mammograms, continuing to perform breast self exams and preparing themselves physically for becoming pregnant…this is even more important if a woman is receiving hormone treatment to encourage pregnancy.
