Books are Best as Holiday Gifts

Posted on November 18, 2017 by llpitlwp

Why Books Make the Best Holiday Gifts

by Saralyn Richard

Holiday Gifts

Black Friday will soon be upon us, and the ritual of hunting for the best Holiday gifts will resume in earnest. Children’s gifts are often the hardest to choose, especially when the recipients live remotely and their preferences for things aren’t clear.

Even when there are wish lists, children outgrow toys and games as quickly as clothes, so something that is cherished today may be ignored tomorrow. Fads for certain children’s gifts pass quickly. Remember the hacky sack, Cabbage Patch™ dolls, Beanie Babies™, and spinners?

Oftentimes the gifts children want are not the ones parents want them to have. Noisy, messy, unassembled, or violent toys may fall into this category. Gifts of live animals might be problematic, as well. We all know horror stories about perfect gifts that turned into nightmares.

The one gift that meets the most positive criteria without having the negative ones, is a book. Books are:

Practical,
Entertaining,
Durable,
Sharable,
Educational,
Enlightening,
Easy to wrap

Most books come with targeted age ranges, so you can match the gift to the child with confidence. If you know what the child’s interests are, you can surely find a book that fits. Books extend the child’s experiences beyond his circumstances, so he can learn about new people, places, and things. They also extend the child’s vocabulary, as well as other reading skills, no matter the age of the reader. Books create opportunities for children and adults to share quality time, discuss worthwhile topics, ask and answer questions, and build relationships.

Toys and games come and go, but a great book lives forever in the mind of its readers. That’s why we think books make the perfect Holiday gifts.

Saralyn Richard is a former educator and author of Naughty Nana, a children’s picture book, ranked #30 on the Goodreads list for Best Picture Book. For reviews and other information, check out www.palmcirclepress.com/naughtynana/bookstore.

Kids and Travel during the Holidays

Posted on November 15, 2017 by llpitlwp

Kids and Travel during the Holidays

Kids and Travel

There is no argument here, kids and travel is hard, no matter what mode of transportation. Car and plane trips have many different difficulties but there are ways to make the experience less stressful.

Travel in the Morning.

Kids are generally happier in the morning providing that you do not disturb too much of their sleep to leave very early. Making travel an adventure for both you and them helps

Empathize With Your Kids, Not Other Passengers.

If you are traveling by plane shift your focus away from what other people think. Think about your children and how they are actually feeling. Empathy can go a long way to relieve your children’s boredom and anxiety about being confined to a seat for x numbers of hours.

Be Prepared. Kids in the House

Pack interesting snacks and small toys to distract your little ones. Take them out periodically during the trip. These little surprises will definitely help and buy segments of peaceful time during your trip.

KIDS AND TRAVEL

Think of Kids and Travel as Family Time, not a Vacation.

Challenging and stressful are words to describe holidays and travel. Try to view it as important time with your kids and family time which is different that a vacation for yourself. By changing your expectations you will avoid anger about being disappointed that this is not a relaxing time away from home

Parenting in the Loop Weekend

Posted on September 29, 2017 by llpitlwp

Parenting in the Loop Weekend

Feeding Baby…”no judgement”

As a grandma I am amazed at the amount of parenting advice is at the touch of today’s parent’s fingertips. Although it is awesome to have so many answers to every question, it can also be overwhelming.

I am well aware of many websites that offer advice from “must have” products to ease raising a happy, healthy child.

Since my granddaughter was born nine years ago I have a renewed interest in the world of mommies and daddies. The twenty-five year gap since I was the parent of a baby was the impetus for this blog.

I now have a two year old grandson and things keep changing exponentially.

In a effort to be true to my own background as a mother/baby nurse and clinical social worker I have focused on child safety, food allergies and parenting skills from a few select people. On my Facebook page I curate products, recalls, and parenting guidance. Very infrequently am I involved in sponsored posts which inadvertently, could color my opinions. I advocate for kids with food allergies and kids safety especially in cars.

Here are a few of my favorite connections:

Dr Harvey Karp and his “Happiest Baby on the Block” and “Happiest Toddler on the Block”
The Baby Guy NYC
Janet Lansbury
Magda Gerber RIE Parenting

Here’s the deal: We have never had so much information at our fingertips in the history of parenting. Data, studies, websites, books, podcasts, articles, blogs, columns (ahem), classes, therapists, coaches (again, ahem). There is a never-ending list of ways that parents can get advice and instruction and information. Yet we have never been more anxious and insecure about our roles. Are we good enough? Are we providing the best opportunities for our children? Are we too lenient? Too strict? Too absent? Too present? For every question we have, we can sit at the computer and search and search, giving our brain unending fodder for worry and uncertainty. For every study we find, another will disprove it.

Source: Parenting books won’t end your anxiety. Here’s what to do instead. – The Washington Post

I hope you have an enjoyable weekend. They are always too short!

Weekend from ParentingintheLoop

Posted on June 11, 2017 by llpitlwp

Weekend from Parenting in the Loop

summer weekend

Summer Safety

Weekends and summer are times of get togethers with family and friends for fun and food. Keeping it safe is essential especially for kids as they rely on the adults to keep them free from hazards.

“It only takes a second”…

How many times I have read that statement and spoken those words?

One weekend many years ago I was standing at the Top of the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco with my one year old daughter in between me and my husband. We both admired the view at exactly the same moment. When we looked down at our daughter she was not there and no where in sight! The elevator doors were just closing and my heart was skipping many beats at the same moment. It seemed like an eternity but it was only a second later that I heard her voice saying, “hi”…”hi” and I realized that she was walking throughout the hotel bar greeting all of the people who were having drinks and enjoying the gorgeous view.

Yes…it only takes a second for a catastrophe to happen. Summer, pools and beaches are so much fun for everyone but it only takes a second to change that into a horrific event. Keep your eyes on your children around water no matter what. “It only takes a second”

Now every time we go to the pool or near any kind of water, I review safety strategies with my 3-year-old son. I remind him …

Anytime he doesn’t know what to do or is scared in the water, to look for the sky and roll over on his back.
That he knows how to find the edge of the pool and that it’s always a safe place to grab on to.
That he knows how to blow bubbles and close his mouth so water doesn’t get in.

I Only Looked Away for a Second

Have a happy and a safe weekend!

Is There a Toddler Copycat in Your Midst?

Posted on May 1, 2017 by llpitlwp

Your Little Toddler Copycat

Your toddler won’t be able to carry on a conversation just yet, but don’t be surprised if he starts mimicking your telephone style with his toy phone. You may also catch him imitating the way you act behind the wheel of the car, preparing meals, or cleaning the house. This copycat behavior can be charming or potentially embarrassing. Now’s a good time to pay extra attention to your own language and behavior. via Baby Center

We have a toddler in our house and he is the cutest when he imitates his mom (my daughter) and his dad.

He loves to take a napkin or paper towel and clean his place at the table or the top of his high chair and just about anything else in his reach.

It is only a matter of time when he will imitate the things his mom and dad and anyone else in earshot says.

It is now time to make sure that what we say is something that we would not mind him repeating. Personally, I find the car a place where I might exclaim words that I would not like to hear him say…even thought when a child imitates our behavior we tend to laugh which only encourages him to keep saying things that are not appropriate.

So just remember that the toddler in your midst is listening to everything and is already planning to embarrass you when you least expect it.

Weekend Picks from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on March 24, 2017 by llpitlwp

Looking for a Rainbow…the Weekend Optimist!

Weekend Picks from Parenting in the Loop

As a clinical social worker, I am frequently made aware of the seriousness that surrounds a child when he or she is made a confidante by one or both of his parents. This occurs when the child is treated more like a friend than a child, who is need of guidance himself.

Parents are at risk for doing this when their children are used as a sounding board because of close proximity during times of strife and stress whether it be work or family stressors.

Our children are not our friends. They should not be exposed to all of our adult worries and problems. Children do not have the life experience to deal with their own problems much less the struggles of the adults they are supposed to rely upon to be their confidantes and supporters.

When this happens to children it is called “parentifying”. This occurs when your child feels like your parent because you are sharing your difficulties.

Never underestimate your children. They empathize and take on your feelings of frustration and anger. They repeat your words from the time they are toddlers when they have no idea what the words even mean. Funny thing is, they continue not to understand our words when we parentify them as they do not have the emotional constructs to handle our adult problems.

But according to psychologists, continuously confiding in your child can be damaging to their long-term emotional well-being. And while an isolated incident of rehashing a bad day at work won’t cause harm, regularly discussing adult problems the way you would with a peer, forces children into inappropriate parenting roles similar to that of proxy therapists or surrogate spouses.

Source: Your child is not your confidant – The Washington Post

Then, there are families characterized by having “boundary problems.” Human organizations and relationships have clearly set boundaries in which certain role expectations are assigned and fulfilled by appropriate people. For instance, it is for adults to work and earn a sufficient living to provide safety and security while children are growing up and attending school. This also allows kids to play and enjoy childhood so that they can go through healthy development and become normal adults who are ready to fulfill their roles when the time comes.

Source: Family Boundaries and the Parentified Child

The weekend is in front of us. I don’t know about you but there just are not enough hours in our time off to do all the things that are on our plates especially when the weather does not cooperate.

Here in Chicago we are looking at a weekend full of Spring rain that of course is necessary but it is not a welcome sight especially after a very dreary winter and a house full of people with a case of severe “cabin fever”.

What are you doing this Weekend?

Good enough is OK …It Really Is!

Posted on March 15, 2017 by llpitlwp

Good Enough is OK…It Really Is!

How many times have you told your child, “It’s OK to be OK”? Not great, not good, but … passable.

Not that often, I bet. If one extreme of parenting is automatic validation — the participant trophies and everyone’s-a-winner mentality — then the other is conditional approval, the idea that nothing is worth doing unless you can be the best at it.

Between these poles is Amy Krouse Rosenthal, whose valuable message of tolerance and experimentation runs through her inspiring body of children’s literature — a list that includes one of my favorites, “The OK Book.”

via “It’s Ok to Be Ok”

This week author Amy Krouse Rosenthal died of ovarian cancer, she was 51 years old. It is a very sad loss for all of us especially children, she was a prolific writer of books with profound messages for both parents and kids.

I especially like “The Ok Book”. Good enough is OK just like the “good enough mother which was made popular by the family theorist Donald Winnicott.

“very subtle things that the mother knows intuitively and without any intellectual appreciation of what is happening, and which she can only arrive at by being left alone and given full responsibility…” (Winnicott1988, p64).

Amy had an understanding of children and wrote in a way that was kind, gentle and inspiring to the reader. She reminded parents that there is joy in trying something for the first time even if you aren’t very good at it. After all if you don’t encourage your child to do new things because they might not like it or might not be good at it think of all the missed opportunities. Good enough is ok is the key to trying when perhaps you don’t really want to do so.

We cannot like everything but wow how fortunate to have new things all around us to try.

Amy thought that life was meant to “Figure it out as you go,” Rosenthal said in a 2010 speech. “If it were imperative to have all the answers before beginning, no one would start anything.” Drop a pancake, fall out of a handstand, slip off the sled. “It’s okay to not have it all worked out.”

Clearly, it all did not work out for Amy to have a long life and see her own kids grow into adulthood. There are no words for her family’s grief and loss. My heart is heavy for them. I can only hope that Amy’s prophetic words “figure it out as you go” holds them up as they move forward.

Good enough is ok!

Really

Weekend Pick from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on February 23, 2017 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pick from Parenting in the Loop

Food allergies invaded our family about 8 years ago with my granddaughter breaking out in whole body hives. It was a very scary and life changing experience for her and for us.

Learning about food allergies is essential and it is an ongoing routine which includes scrutinizing food labels and monitoring your child’s environment on a daily basis

There have been milestones in my granddaughter’s awareness and self advocacy over the years.

Recently, I came across this wonderful summary and timeline of skills that can be life saving for your child with food allergies.

Weekends are a time when kids are out and about with families and friends…it is a break from work and school but not a break from allergies to food.

Even if you are not affected by these allergies yourself it might be helpful if you knew more about them so you could assist if a child or an adult around you has an allergic reaction.

Growing up with food allergies takes baby steps. Spokin has compiled 36 milestones for your food allergic child to help track your progress and theirs.

Source: 36 Skills To Teach Your Food Allergic Child — SPOKIN

Happy Weekend!

Weekend Pick “Red Sneakers For Oakley”

Posted on January 13, 2017 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pick “Red Sneakers for Oakley”

Would you wear your red sneakers this weekend?

It would help to honor the life of young Oakley Debbs, who died of anaphylaxis in November while on vacation with his family. Read about Oakley and his red sneakers at Redsneaker.org and follow Red Sneakers on Facebook and Instagram to support the nut allergy awareness initiative started by his parents.

The Restaurant Nut Allergy Awareness Initiative Join the restaurants nationwide who are bringing awareness to food allergies by marking items on their menus with the Red Sneakers for Oakley logo which is becoming the symbol for “Food Allergy Awareness”. We have provided the files below so that your menu designer can integrate the symbols into the menu. Also we ask that you place the logo which contains the statement this food may contain nuts somewhere on the menu so people understand what the Red Sneaker symbol is for.

Source: Red Sneakers For Oakley

My pick for this weekend focuses on food allergies. Since I read about Oakley’s death over the Thanksgiving holiday, I have been supporting his grieving family’s efforts in Food Allergy Awareness along with many others on social media.

It is so very important to understand all you can about food allergies and anaphylaxis that can tragically snuff out a life in a matter of minutes. Knowing the signs and symptoms of a food allergy reaction and having a plan of action is mandatory. Having an Epi-Pen and using it can be lifesaving!

Safely eating foods at home and at restaurants is not as simple as it should be. Anything that makes it easier and safer should be welcomed.

I love the Restaurant Nut Allergy Awareness Initiative that has been initiated by RedSneaker.org and I urge you to support it any way you are able.

You may just save a life.

My heart goes out to the Debbs family on the loss of their beloved Oakley. I would encourage you to wear #redsneakersforoakley this weekend!

Food Allergies: Family Urges Food Allergy Education

Posted on December 6, 2016 by llpitlwp

Food Allergies: Family Urges Food Allergy Education

red-sneakers-for-oakley

#livlikeoaks

It has been a long week catching up after Thanksgiving and moving on to preparing for Christmas.

As many of you know we have a grandchild that has food allergies, specifically to peanuts and tree nuts. Along the way since her diagnosis we have made many friends who understand the severity of such an allergy but of course there are those times when misunderstanding of anaphylaxis can make all of us involved in the safety of our grandchild frustrated and angry.

I would like to share the story of Oakley Debbs, a young 11year old boy who died over his Thanksgiving celebration with his family after he accidentally ate a piece of a holiday gifted coffee cake at a relatives’ house. His is a story that his parents want all of us to remember by wearing red sneakers on December 10th. That is the day of his funeral and celebration of his short life as a twin of his sister Olivia.

Managing food allergies is no easy matter and it demands constant vigilance which includes carrying epi-pens at all times and closely reading and understanding food labels. Eating out can be a nightmare which adds a huge dimension to traveling.

I am concerned with managing a safe environment for children and education is obligatory. The learning curve can for food allergies can be steep and tedious but there are many support groups and great information available. I cannot emphasize consulting with a pediatric allergist if at all possible and making an action plan that is adhered to all the time.

Merrill Debbs is convinced that her son, Oakley, might still be alive if she’d known more about food allergies and how fatal reactions can come on slowly and insidiously. The boy, who had asthma and had tested positive for a mild peanut and tree nut allergy, died after consuming a piece of pound cake the day before Thanksgiving. Oakley thought it was safe to eat, but there was a walnut inside and he’d already swallowed it before realizing what happened.

Source: After 11-year-old boy’s sudden death, mom warns about nut allergies – TODAY.com

Red Sneakers Foundation – raising awareness of the danger of asthma & nut allergies, educational programs, research & public policy initiatives.

Source: Red Sneakers Foundation

As they prepare for a big memorial tribute to Oakley on Dec. 10, Merrill and Robert Debbs spoke to Allergic Living about their loss, their concerns about vital information they never got at the allergist’s office, and their resolve to raise anaphylaxis advocacy through their new Red Sneakers awareness campaign. (Red was Oakley’s favorite shoe color.) “Whatever we can do to help people protect children who have these food allergies – labeling, education to protect these children so it never happens again,” says Robert of the couple’s decision to start a campaign and website while still coming to grips with their son’s death. Both parents now think they were far more informed about asthma than they were about the management of food allergies and risks of anaphylaxis.

Source: After Son’s Nut Allergy Tragedy, Family Urges Food Allergy Education | Allergic Living

For more information and Food Allergy Education and Research (FARE) :https://www.foodallergy.org/#menu