12 tips for easing your parental anxiety…

www.kidport.com/Graphics/ParentTeach/Parents.jpg&imgrefurl

Parents worry…it is sort of their job as I see it.

Here is an interview which may help you with some of those worries and make you a little less riddled with anxiety.

Parenthood is not easy. Worrying of course does not really help anything. Enjoy your baby and child and try to live in the present and plan for the future not worry about it.

I hope this article helps.

“Almost from the moment you know you’re pregnant, it begins — a cascade of anxiety touching on everything from health to finances.  And as your child grows, so do your worries.  Can she subsist on a diet of crackers and cereal?  Why is he struggling to read?  Our goal is to put these thoughts to rest. We asked readers on parents.com to share their biggest kid fears and got experts to weigh in with smart coping advice

via 12 tips for easing your ‘parent-noia’ – TODAY Health – TODAYshow.com.”

Breast Pumps and the “IRS”…

“First, the IRS announced yesterday that breast pumps and other breastfeeding supplies are now tax deductible. That reverses the previous policy, which held that there was not sufficient medical benefit from breastfeeding to warrant deduction as a medical expense….

In a letter written on Jan. 31 but released Thursday afternoon, the agency’s commissioner David H. Shulman noted that because pumps are used “for the purpose of affecting a structure or function of the body of the lactating woman,” they are properly classified as a medical device. Previously the IRS held the position that, as my colleague David Kocieniewski put it in today’s Business section, “viewed breast milk as nothing more than a healthy food — meaning that breast pumps, bottles and pads were no more deserving of a tax break than a vegetable steamer.”

The revised definition, he writes, which is effective for the 2010 tax year:

will allow mothers to use pretax money from their flexible spending accounts to cover the cost of breast pumps and other supplies. Those without flexible spending accounts may deduct breast-feeding costs if their total unreimbursed medical expenses exceed 7.5 percent of their adjusted gross income and they itemize.”

via The IRS, Breast Pumps and other Updates – NYTimes.com.

Moms are getting the message….

Messages for Moms….

We’re used to hearing about public initiatives that get mired in politics or entangled in bureaucracy, but we rarely hear about programs that exceed expectations. So here’s one: last week marked the one-year anniversary of a program called text4baby, a service that sends free text messages to women who are pregnant or whose babies are less than a year old, providing them with information, and reminders, to improve their health and the health of their babies.

via Mothers-to-Be Are Getting the Message – NYTimes.com.

,,

Here is a fairly new service for mothers-to-be and  moms with babies under one year old. It is so important to try to reach as many women as possible with valuable healthcare information. Many families still do not have access to the internet and thus this text messaging service is the next best thing.

Hopefully social workers and nurses who work with families are aware of this service and recommend it to their clients.

Now we will have to work on services for those who do not have text messaging available to them.

Good Parenting….

Attachment Parenting International

So true. I am sure every parent can identify with happy, sad, angry or scared children. It is what we do in those moments that is so important and really defines us as parents.
You do not have to subscribe to a style of parenting or label yourself as a certain “type” of parent. But you should always respond to your child with love, caring and understanding.
Parenting is not easy.  It is the ultimate work of your life.
“If you bungle raising your children…nothing else matters much.” Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

More on the Tiger Mom debate…

More “Tiger Mom” Reactions

In a effort to post the most interesting comments generated by the “Tiger Mom” piece in the Wall Street Journal here is another well written article.

“Tiger Moms and the Parenting Debate

by Don Burton | Child Development | giggle GURUS

 

The debate on parenting and educational best practices has been brought to a fevered pitch with Amy Chua’s views in Tiger Mother and documentary film hits Race to Nowhere and Waiting for Superman filling parent discussions. The problem is that the proposed solutions in these various media couldn’t be more diametrically opposed. Race to Nowhere condemns the “dark side of America’s achievement culture” calling for no more homework while Amy Chua claims America does not have an achievement culture at all but a lax and loose culture that indulges kids and enables them to waste time. A strict demanding Chinese style Tiger Mom is her solution. Waiting for Superman confirms the mess in our public schools and then seems to side with Amy Chua by elevating KIPS and SEEDS charter schools as solutions, which expect a lot more from every student and insist on more classroom time, more one-on-one tutoring and more homework to achieve results. With all the mixed messages, what are parents to think?”

via Tiger Moms and the Parenting Debate | Child Development | giggle Blogs.

Caucasian fathers are superior….really?? REVISITED

Noteworthy Wednesday!

This is my most read post in 2011…since “Tiger Mom” is now published in paperback and it is the one year anniversary of the commotion that it set off I am reposting this for you perusal.

Enjoy.

Why Caucasian fathers are superior.

“So it should come as no surprise that I am better at parenting than most humans (and all animals, except bison and unicorns). The reason? I’m a Caucasian male.

The Caucasian culture does not accept mediocrity. You name it, we excel at it. Whether it’s playing hockey, or watching hockey, or dancing (the polka), or finishing last in 100-metre races, or suppressing the civil rights of minorities, Caucasian males do it best. We also raise the brightest children.”

Seriously, this is such an amusing piece that responds to the “Tiger Mom”  uproar. I thought we had read just about everything but apparently not so.

Given all the commotion that Tiger Mom has generated, I think that it is time to consider some balance. Parenting is something that is too important to actually laugh about.

It seems there are as many beliefs about the right way to parent as there are parents. It is my belief that anything taken to extremes is never really a good thing. There are exceptions to almost any “rule”. To be excessively rigid in your parenting style could pass this rigidity on to your child or create the opposite stance on your child’s part. Neither of these responses is what I personally would want.

There are many aspects of attachment parenting that I like and I probably was an attached parent and am an attached grandparent although I did not “co-sleep” nor did I breast feed.

My personal parenting guidelines came from Erik Erikson’s stages of development. I tried to parent so that my children successfully completed Erikson’s  stages of development.

I also tried to model behavior for my children. They experienced how important it was for both their grandmothers to die having completed their final stage of life at age 89. They both died with integrity and dignity.

Parenting never really ends.

For me, it is about teaching your children how to have love and empathy and be able to develop their own skills to live each stage of life.

With that said please read this “caucasian father’s” editorial reaction to “Tiger Mom” and laugh if you like…it is pretty humorous!

A Controversial Essay And A Variety Of Responses

DISCUSS: ARE CHINESE MOTHERS BETTER PARENTS?

A Controversial Essay And A Variety Of Responses

By Eric Messinger

via A Controversial Essay And A Variety Of Responses.

“Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom” certainly has received much press this week and criticism is surrounding the author and her book.

Whether you agree or not with “Chinese Parenting” in my opinion, it is always interesting to read about how other cultures view parenting and the parent-child relationship.

A book like this one should make you question some of the things that you do as a parent and perhaps give  you a deeper understanding of why you adhere to certain beliefs about how parenting should be done.

Criticism is good when it stimulates more questions and answers. It is an effort in futility when it merely stands alone.

Chinese Parenting….

 

Noteworthy Wednesday!

 

 

Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior – WSJ.com.

Chinese children will never:

• attend a sleepover

• have a playdate

• be in a school play

• complain about not being in a school play

• watch TV or play computer games

• choose their own extracurricular activities

• get any grade less than an A

• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama

• play any instrument other than the piano or violin

• not play the piano or violin.

via Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior – WSJ.com.

Have you ever wondered why Asian children excel in academics and music?
Well, there is an emphasis on academics and the performing arts which is unlike the emphasis on sports and other activities which is often seen in “Western” parenting.
According to the Wall Street Journal article….Chinese parents “understand that nothing is fun until you are good at it”.
In order to be good at something you have to work at it hence you must practice piano if you are to be good at it…you must practice writing if you are to be a good writer. We all know that children rarely like to practice so if this practicing is going to happen the parents must override the child’s desire to do something else.
It seems that if you are not permitted television or computer games nor can you choose your own extracurricular activities and cannot have a play-date or be in a school play then there is not much else to do but study, read and practice the violin and piano which are the chosen instruments in this culture.
Chinese parents according to the WSJ article use shaming if a child is disrespectful by actually calling their child “garbage”. According to the author, she knew what her parents meant and such criticism did not damage her self esteem. She attributes this to the fact that she was always given much praise for her accomplishments for her tenacious practice and her excellent academics. This is what built her confidence. When a child excels in a not so fun activity…it makes the activity fun in the long run. Now the parent has succeeded in getting the child to work even more.

The author goes on to point out three major differences between Chinese and Western parents.

  • Western parents are very concerned with their child’s self -esteem and try to reassure their children no matter how they perform. They view their child’s psyche as fragile where Chinese parents do not. Chinese parents will use “shaming” and assume that their child is strong enough to take and thus improve upon their performance.
  • Western parents do not believe for the most part that their children owe them anything, whereas the Chinese parents believe their children owe them everything possibly based on Confucian piety.
  • Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children. This is why they make choices for them. Western parents sometimes feel this way but tend to acknowledge the child’s preferences.

The author makes a final statement which really summarizes it all:

“Western parents try to respect their children’s individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they’re capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.”