Breastfeeding…Is it Best for All?

Posted on October 26, 2015 by llpitlwp

Is Breastfeeding always best?

Breastfeeding is a hot topic among moms and also one which can usually ignite a “mommy war” of words and guilt. Breast may in fact be best from scientific evidence which I am not here to argue or interpret.

What I know as a mom, grandma, former mother-baby nurse is this.

If a mom wants to breast feed she deserves plenty of support because breast feeding is not always as easy as it looks. In fact, it can be downright frustrating and difficult for new moms who are dealing with a myriad of changes in their lives.

Non-judgemental support is essential. If you had a positive experience breastfeeding, I am so happy for you but don’t impose your positive experience on another mom. Why? Because each mother/baby dyad is unique.

Early in my nursing career I took a LaMaze Certification with Elizabeth Bing, She was a guru of ‘LaMaze’ in NYC. Oddly to me, she was not a nurse, she was a physical therapist if I remember correctly. So in reality, she had not much experience with hands on labor and delivery and neither did many of her certification seeking students. For many students the only experience they had was their own successful ‘LaMaze’ childbirth.

At that time I had no children but I had assisted many laboring women and I had attended many deliveries. Some were great ‘LaMaze’ deliveries and others were not so much, these were the women that had epidurals, and or pain medication.

Back in the day, how a mom delivered was very judgmental, at least in NYC. Women who were taught LaMaze by Elizabeth Bing were very sad and disappointed if they gave in to medication or epidural. They were frequently devastated if they had a c-section. I felt it was my nursing responsibility to help each mom accept her childbirth experience and accept her healthy baby.

Because of my experiences prior to having my own children, I think it was easier for me to accept the facts surrounding my own childbirth stories. They were not ‘natural’, in fact one was an emergency c-section. To this day, I am grateful for a healthy child. I was simply in the right hospital at the right time. I did not choose to breastfeed for some personal and some medical reasons. With what I knew at the time this was the right choice for me and my children.

I hear so many comments about breast feeding nazi nurses that it makes me sad. A new mom should not be made to think that a nurse is pushing or demanding that she breast feed her baby. A gently approach to a new mom is so much more meaningful after just giving birth. So many times women feel that they are not in control once they step into labor and delivery and postpartum. This is ludicrous. These moms are going home with their babies. So lets quit the judgment at the Labor and Delivery door.

Here are two posts that really inspired me today.

There are truths in both writings.

Try to read them and not get judgmental.

It is kind of a test of two viewpoints.

Make up your own mind without anger and without pushing your beliefs on other moms.

Whether you breastfeed or formula feed, there’s one mantra that’s repeated over and over again: breast is best. You whisper it to yourself in the dark as the pain of those first latches washes over you, you repeat it to newly pregnant friends, and — if you use formula — you insert it into conversations as a buffer to ward off judgment from strangers. “I know breast is best,” you utter mechanically, “but these are the myriad excuses why it wasn’t right for me.

In a recent Op-Ed in the New York Times, Courtney Jung discusses new evidence that shows we’ve vastly overstated the benefits of breastfeeding, and it’s having a detrimental effect on moms. Like most new moms, Jung was bombarded with information about breastfeeding as soon as she went public with her pregnancy. Well-meaning friends offered advice and strangers inquired as to how she’d feed her baby. Her birthing class even refused to do lessons on formula feeding because it’s “against hospital regulations.”

Source: Increasing Evidence Proves Breast Isn’t Always ‘Best’ Scary Mommy

McKenna went on to say that Jung’s conclusion was wrong.”[Jung] is just plain wrong especially in light of new epigenetic studies that show in both human and nonhuman primates that breast milk significantly alters the human microbiome, setting in place, potentially, a lifetime trajectory of protections (or without it, vulnerabilities) to a variety of diseases and health in general. Moreover, how can we ignore that formula feeding is a risk factor for SIDS?”[Breast-feeding] is especially important for African-American infants whose mothers breast-feed at significantly lower rate than do whites contributing to the enormous survival disparity of black babies compared to white babies.”

Source: Are We Becoming Overzealous About Breast-Feeding? : 13.7: Cosmos And Culture : NPR

Motherhood we are all in this Together.

Posted on July 20, 2015 by llpitlwp

SISTERHOOD OF MOTHERHOOD

This post is a sponsored by Similac.

Thank you for supporting Parenting in the Loop

#UniteMonday

I am so proud to be selected to participate as a Brand Ambassador in Similac’s “The Sisterhood of Motherhood”.

As a young mom I had expectations of what a mom should be which set my path each day as I struggled to take care of my two children 23 months apart in age. Super imposed upon my high mom standards for myself were also my desire to be the “good wife” as well. My plate was more than full. At times difficult to digest all I had bitten off.

I was also a maternal.child, pediatric nurse so I knew and had personally witnessed what could happen if you relaxed your standards especially your safety ones. That alone created in me some serious anxiety which I kept hidden from everyone except my husband.

It was not easy to be a “green” mom. By that I mean, this was all new grass I was trodding upon and I wanted it to grow and flourish in spite of my insecurities and anxieties. Little did I know there were many other moms just like myself and we all suffered from our own self imposed standards. There were no mom bloggers, no mom blogs for that matter there was no internet! However I did watch my favorite stories (soap operas) each afternoon at nap time. The characters were my “friends”, even though I could not talk to them or ask them questions or even comment on their problems. Their lives were of course nothing like my own but it was definitely an escape from the mom and housewife mental institution known as my home at the time.

In the two years following my marriage I delivered two children. They were raised in the 80’s, 90’s. and were born in Miami Florida. It was another world from where I worked in New York City. Even though I had a lot of newborn experience I had no idea what to do when my first born daughter was older than two weeks. I was literally lost thankfully my mother was staying with me and lived close by.

Both my babies were formula fed. The choice was made for me since I was taking Heparin, a drug which helps to prevent blood clots. It was a medication that would cause problems for babies as it passes through breast milk. Although I didn’t like not having a choice I was sort of okay with it because I had seen many moms struggling with breastfeeding and it just scared the living daylights out of me. I had no problem with formula and bottle feeding. For the most part in 1979 and 1981 there really was no judgment passed on my formula feeding decision by any of my mom friends. Actually, I was relieved to bottle feed, since someone else could easily feed my daughter and I could get some much needed rest.

Living in South Florida alongside many retirees created a different set of problems.They were a judgmental bunch. A brief story comes to mind. One afternoon I was taken by surprise when I took my daughters to Lord and Taylor and decided to have lunch. Pushing my double stroller I approached the hostess and asked for a table, her retired old self felt the need to ask me if I was going to breast feed at the table. What a relief came over her face when I said “no”.

I am not sure what she would have done if I had said yes but I am sure I would have been told to go to the ladies lounge to feed my child.

This anecdote seems like an eternity ago, although it is no longer 1980 some of the reactions of other moms and grandmas are not all too different today. Surprisingly some attitudes about where a mom should breast feed have not changed . What has definitely changed though is the fact that more moms are breastfeeding and they themselves have become judgmental about how important breastfeeding is in a newborn’s life. Some moms think you are not being a good mom if you do not breastfeed your child and they don’t refrain from voicing this opinion online, or in person. Actually the internet seems to have become the official boxing ring for these critics.

I am now a grandmother and my ideas of what defines motherhood have become less rigid. They are no longer written in pen they are all written in pencil to be changed at a moment’s notice. There is no room for much judgment of my new relaxed standards when it comes to my grandchildren

Grandparents can sometimes have more fun than parents because they have learned along the way that when it comes to raising a child there are very few things that need to be written in stone. We understand what it means to be a mom from a lens that comes with age. and experience. Thank God for this fact.

One of the best parts of grandmotherhood is being able to enjoy grandchildren with out the pressure from within that comes along with being a new mom. From the inception of my blog I have tried to share and support this generation of moms in the day to day. It is a kind of support that my generation of moms did not have.

I feel so fortunate to be included in Similac’s #Sisterhood of Motherhood initiative.It is an honor to be featured with some today’s moms

It is my hope that on this #UniteMonday moms will recognize the fact that we are all in this together to support, nourish, accept and unite every mom who is raising a child. Grandmothers have an important role here as well. There is a loop of parenting and that loop starts with grandmothers and continues with moms and children. We are forever adding to the parenting loop every time a child is born to a new mom and makes another mom a grandmother.

Please get in the “loop” this #UniteMonday and share your parenting stories in comments and on FB and nourish, support and unite other moms!

Thank you Similac and #UniteMonday for recognizing moms.

This post was sponsored by Similac but all thoughts and opinions are my own.

Breast-feeding is not always best available option – Positive Discipline- What is it? – Baby Sleep, What Do You Really Know? Weekend Reading!

Posted on April 26, 2013 by llpitlwp

Are you afraid to choose not to breast feed because of the backlash of comments that you anticipate from your relatives and friends?

Don’t you just want them to understand what you already know about you and your baby?

Maybe you should write down your story and hand copies to anyone who questions why you are not breastfeeding and then just maybe they will “shut up” and mind their own business!

BREAST-FEEDING is not always best.

These are fighting words if you are a mother who has delivered a baby at most hospitals throughout the Puget Sound. If you are the postpartum mother who dares to utter that statement, you will be the one fighting with nurses, doctors, lactation consultants and anyone on the street who sees you bottle feeding.

Guest: Breast-feeding is not always best available option | Opinion | The Seattle Times.

Do you use time-outs as discipline the way “The Nanny” does on her television series?

There actually is another approach….”Positive Discipline” and it just might work better with your child or children. Here is a link to someone who specializes in this approach…

Positive Discipline: Positive Time-out.

I went on Amazon and bought all the top books on baby sleep and development. I read through them all, as well as several blogs and sleep websites. I gathered lots of advice.

If you are confused about Baby Sleep and how to help you and your baby get enough rest, you will find out why when you read this funny post from a mom who shares your confusion.

Don’t fret, you are not alone!

Ava Neyer: I Read All The Baby Sleep Books.

I hope these suggested readings help with three of the most discussed topics of childrearing…. Feeding…Discipline…Sleep.

Have a great weekend!

What moms should know about feeding baby!

Posted on April 23, 2013 by llpitlwp

Suzie Barston wrote a book about infant feeding so that women can feel supported no matter how they choose to feed their baby…whether formula or breast.

I have not read her book but here is an interview with Suzie where she answers some questions that may help a new mom.

I wrote the book with a few goals in mind – first and foremost, I wanted to offer some support and perspective for women dealing with conflicted feelings about infant feeding. But I also wanted to provide a resource for childbirth educators, medical practitioners, and breastfeeding advocates which would explain how it feels – viscerally – to “fail” at breastfeeding in today’s world. I believe that most people are trying to help mothers; the problem is that they often unintentionally do the opposite. There is a right way and a wrong way to educate parents about breastfeeding, and I hope that even if childbirth educators don’t agree with some of what I have to say, they can approach it as a Field Guide to the American Bottle Feeder.

Science & Sensibility » “Bottled Up”: An Interview with Suzie Barston on Her Infant Feeding Experiences and Implications for Birth Professionals.

Why Bottle Feeding Needs Support…Weekend Reading

Posted on April 5, 2013 by llpitlwp

Bottle Feeding is under attack and we all know moms who for very good reasons could not breast feed. We also know moms who bottle feed by choice.

I respect choice, as a nurse and social worker it is important that I do, because we all deserve support in our choices and decisions as to how we feed our babies. That is not to say, I would not provide a mom with information about both breast and bottle feeding but ultimately it is mom’s decision.

For those moms who need support, I recommend visiting the The Fearless Formula Feeder. Suzane Barston provides a forum for moms to discuss formula feeding in a very non-threatening, nonjudgmental way.

If you formula feed or know of any mom that does then this is a must read. It will connect you with Suzane Barston and The Fearless Formula Feeder.

Support for Bottle feeding Mamas | paa.la.

I began following Suzie Barston’s blog, Fearless Formula Feeder several months ago, and have been impressed with her ability to (a) unpack the science, and (b) impact sensibility and respect for women who choose to formula feed. After reading her book and then interviewing Suzie, I know that this community will appreciate her academic rigor, and social insights. – Walker Karraa

Science and Sensibility- An interview with Suzie Barston

Have a nice weekend everyone!

Breast Feeding….

Posted on March 2, 2011 by llpitlwp

NOTEWORTHY WEDNESDAY!

Breast is best…the comments…

“So overall, yes, breast is probably best. But not so much better that formula deserves the label of “public health menace,” alongside smoking. Given what we know so far, it seems reasonable to put breast-feeding’s health benefits on the plus side of the ledger and other things—modesty, independence, career, sanity—on the minus side, and then tally them up and make a decision. But in this risk-averse age of parenting, that’s not how it’s done.

….

My best guess is something I can’t quite articulate. Breast-feeding does not belong in the realm of facts and hard numbers; it is much too intimate and elemental. It contains all of my awe about motherhood, and also my ambivalence. Right now, even part-time, it’s a strain. But I also know that this is probably my last chance to feel warm baby skin up against mine, and one day I will miss it.

via The Case Against Breast-Feeding – Magazine – The Atlantic.

Here’s my message to other moms anxious about formula-feeding: If you absolutely hate breastfeeding for whatever reason, stop. Let it (and the guilt) go. Breastfeeding may be healthier than formula, but the formula they’re making these days is pretty awesome, too. The extra nutrients and antibodies a woman’s breast milk provides may not be worth crying every time you have to breastfeed. The truth is that your child can thrive on breast milk or formula, but an unhappy mama does not a healthy baby make. So let’s stop using how we feed our babies as an occasion to make ourselves — or other moms — miserable.

Not breastfeeding and feeding baby formula don’t make you a bad mother.”

My thoughts…

Breast Feeding has been in the news this past week with the IRS giving moms a tax-break on breast pumps. Finally, there is recognition for moms who need pumps for a myriad of reasons to help them continue to breastfeed.

Let me start out by acknowledging that I did not breastfeed either one of my children…it was a decision I made without any guilt even though I was a maternal-child nurse and had a fair amount of knowledge about breastfeeding.

It was part of my job to help women with breast feeding after delivery and during their post partum hospital stay which in the 70’s when I began my career was on average 4-5 days for a vaginal delivery and 7-8 days for a c-section, unlike today’s very brief hospital stays after delivery. Nurses played an important role in mother-baby care for more of an extended period of time in those days of lengthier hospital stays.

Breast feeding was really on the upswing in New York City during the 70’s and many moms were choosing it as an option.

Often the first couple of days breast feeding would go fairly smoothly. It was a learning time for both mother and baby. It seemed that gentle coaxing and encouragement gave a new mom and baby all they needed.

Then on the third post-partum day something dramatic occurred…. mom’s milk came in and the “honeymoon” period for mother and baby was usually over.

At this point, sometimes mom would even have a slight fever and be somewhat uncomfortable until baby breast fed and relieved the pressure from her warm breasts…but other moms would be initially so engorged with milk they would be crying as would baby who was having difficulty attaching to mom’s rock hard nipples. Then for some moms there was the problem of sore nipples to contend with…ouch!

Moms seemed to have a difficult time with all these adjustments in the hospital atmosphere, rooming-in was encouraged but there were still schedules to contend with and those were not always conducive to the calming conditions that are needed for mom and baby to successfully begin breastfeeding.. If the mom was recovering from a c-section the scene was usually more complicated and more painful for her. This usually added to her frustration which carried of course over to her newborn. Nurses tried their best to encourage and provide a soothing setting for both mom and baby so that they both could enjoy the breastfeeding experience which was known to be so important.

Newborn care in the hospital in those days was slightly different as well, due to the extended length of stay. Baby’s weight would be closely monitored as would any level of jaundice. Jaundice is a threatening condition depending upon many factors. Feeding encourages babies to pass stool which excretes bilirubin which causes jaundice…if baby does not get enough liquid this can cause a problem. Breast feeding was always something that caused some concern…as to whether the baby was getting enough milk… now I am not saying that breast feeding causes jaundice but many factors enter in to the picture here and feeding whether bottle or breast is observed closely if jaundice is a problem.

Even in the 70’s we knew that “breast was best” but it seemed that we did not freak out when mothers made the decision to formula feed their newborn…we realized that it was their choice as it is today. Bonding was encouraged and healthy feeding techniques were taught. Skin to skin touch was emphasized.

My decision to formula feed… was not by choice. I was taking medications that were excreted in breast milk. These medications would have been very problematic for my baby so breastfeeding was not an option. The decision was really made for me…in all honesty after working with post-partum moms I was not sure I was up to the task. It had always been super amazing to me to see the adjustment period of mom and baby to breastfeeding just as amazing perhaps as the birth of each child.

I honestly believe breast or bottle feeding does not determine what kind of mother you are…there are so many factors that go into mothering and parenting it is a wonder that any of us make it through to adulthood.

One thing I have learned is that children do take a village to raise and it starts at birth…adequate support is important to get mom and baby off to a good start. I believe that we all need to recognize our own prejudices and allow others to self determine without pressure.

In the end, we are not raising another mom’s child and really don’t we have enough to do raising our own?