jekyll and hyde days

Last week I was on a “break” in Rhode Island…where I go from time to time to relax and stir up some creative thoughts.

Spring has come along the Rhode Island coast line… it is beautiful to experience the chirping birds, the cry of the sea gulls and the off shore breezes. Sunrises never cease to be a grateful view.

The ever-changing water currents and winds bring daily weather changes, sometimes ones that are very slight and hardly noticeable and others, dreary and full of drama.

We had one such dreary and dramatic day…a Nor’easter which hit us early one morning with pounding rain and whistling wind. The waves were tumultuous and white caps made for ominous boating conditions. It was a day for soup, sandwiches and a good book…as well as make-believe play and a trip to the Children’s Library in between wind gusts.

The next morning…it was like the day before had been a dream. The sky lit up at around   5 a.m. and the sun shone brightly another hour later. The Wind had subsided.The birds were back and the water sparkled with its calmness. Boats were cruising again.

It was a Jekyl and Hyde couple of days…on the coast of Rhode Island!

“Toast Tuesday”…

Toast Tuesday!

 

Dominque Browning is my Tuesday Toast Blog…Slow Love Life…

I found Dominque’s blog a while ago and find myself gravitating to it when I need comfort and beautiful photos of life.

Her bio is impressive but more than that, she is a real person, who as she says in the title of her book … Slow Love: How I Lost my Job, Put on My Pajamas, and Found Happiness.

A writer’s life is complicated… it may seem romantic from the outside looking in…Dominque shares herself, which is all a reader can ask..RIGHT?

http://www.dominiquebrowning.com/

Life… measured by the glass….

A more classical definition from the Mayo Clinic: “Optimism is the belief that good things will happen to you and that negative events are temporary setbacks to be overcome.”

A Richer Life by Seeing the Glass Half Full – NYTimes.com.

I am a glass full person…although I am fairly realistic about what I can actually accomplish in any given day. There is no end to the list of my things to do on my personal “bucket list

Having a successful blog is one of my to do’s. The question that looms in my head is, “How does one measure a blog’s success?”

Is it by numbers of readers, numbers of comments, quality of discussions or is by what the writer, in this case me, derives from publishing meaningful content on a regular basis.

There are many blogs that I admire and enjoy. The reason I read these blogs is because they are well written and I enjoy what the writers have to say. Some of these  blogs are “mom” blogs…they talk about family, parenting, they share personal stories and pictures…they are sort of autobiography crossed with a  personal diary. I find these blogs entertaining, heartwarming and sometimes heart wrenching.

Some other favorite blogs of mine are photographic ones…by talented amateur photographers…then there are the blogs that are educational.

I always need to be educated about something…social media, blogging, medicine, parenting, etc.

What are some of your favorite blogs…why do you read them and if you write one why do you do it?

Staying Connected…

 

As a grandparent, who spends a fair amount of time with my own granddaughter,  there are times when I am exhausted but I don’t want to give in to the tiredness nor do I want to melt down when she melts down.

I find myself reading “mom blogs” which are comforting…since the moms are quite a few years younger than I and they feel exactly the same way I do at times.

I remember often feeling totally destroyed as a young mom of two under two…I had a few friends with whom to commiserate on the wall phone with the ultra long cord that practically went all around the house with me  as I talked and chased my girls. No cell phones or wireless for this 1980’s mom. No internet …no instant messages that could issue an SOS around the world on Twitter or other social media.

But thank God for social media at this stage of my life as a grandmother… it is very comforting to read other moms “daily” comings and goings and all that they do to keep sane.

This morning, I found this post on my Facebook page…it was a much needed one. I am on vacation from my home in Chicago…I am supposed to relax at the seashore for 5+ days. Now, I am not complaining but when you are with a 3 year old it is harder to find those much needed relaxing moments.

I share the following with all of you in hopes that it will help when you are exhausted some day…you don’t even need to have kids or be a grandmother to use the tips in this article.

What do you do to relax and stay connected with your kids and grandkids when your energy is tapped out?

Connecting with Kids When You’re Exhausted.

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. ~Carl Bard


In Memory of Marina Keegan…

Today, I want to honor Marina Keegan, a young writer who recently graduated from Yale but sadly died in a car crash this past weekend. What a special talent she possessed…what a special daughter, granddaughter, sibling and friend she must have been!

A tragic loss of a young life…a writer that we will never get to really know…

KEEGAN: The Opposite of Loneliness | Cross Campus | Yale Daily News.

Related:

http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-marina-keegan-news-brief

http://www.yaledailynews.com/news/2011/sep/09/keegan-song-special/?weekend

Lazy Days of Summer…

As summer vacation is about to begin our children and grandchildren will have some days that will be free and easy without much of a structured schedule. That is a beautiful time for parents, grandparents and kids to do some fun spur of the moment activities.

Free time is wonderful in many ways. It is such a good opportunity to play using your imagination. I find too much structure can dampen a child’s natural imaginary play. For me it is all about balance…structured planned activities mixed with activities that push the imagination…the outcome of this can be amazing.

Sometimes it is a stretch for me to get my imagination to wake-up. Having a grandchild is a blessing…allowing he/she to take control of certain aspects of an activity can really stimulate the creative juices.

I am going to try to incorporate a little imagination each day in the ordinary-

  • Food creations – This can start with breakfast..make pancakes and let everyone decorate their own with fruit…lunch creations… make a picnic…let everyone help put together the picnic basket with foods from each food group…dinner creations decide a menu together and make it together, again using the food groups.
  • Exercise – This one is a little harder for me as a grandparent… but balls are a great way to get kids to run around and bubbles are fun also.We get a lot of mileage out of both of these in our yard… if we get the dogs outside it is even more fun.
  • Reading –  Story reading is quiet  afternoon activity for us…  when it is too hot to be outside. Sometimes, we make up our own stories looking at the pictures that we took that day or old photos from Christmas or other holiday.  Picture taking is so easy  these days…I try to make the most of it!

Summer is a wonderful time to have some fun…all you need is your imagination and your child or grandchild!

 

 

What are some of your summer activities with the kids in your life?

How do you use “free time”?

Related reading:

7 Habits of Healthy Kids | Kid Scoop.

 

Everything you need to know…”I don’t think so”!

Recently, there was a post on “Babble “that described a mom’s 8 Postpartum Symptoms that she did not know existed until they happened to her…

These days, it truly baffles me how there is any thing left to know about pregnancy, delivery and postpartum with all the resources at a mom-to-be’s fingertips.  “Everything you ever wanted to know”  is merely a click away.

But…my question remains, “HOW realistic is it,  to read something called “everything you ever wanted to know” about anything that you are going to experience?

Now, I am not suggesting to be unprepared for labor and delivery, nor am I saying not to have information to read when you are pregnant …but something with the title “everything” should give any of us pause for thought.

No mom-to-be or parents-to-be need to know anywhere near “everything”.

In my professional opinion…depending upon what you choose to read, you could be driving yourself right into your first legitimate “panic attack“. Then you will have to start reading about “panic disorders” as well.

A few years ago, I had the unpleasant experience of open heart surgery…oh sure, I read, and prepared. I learned about the robotics approach and how that would prevent the need for the open chest incision…which was certainly an appealing idea.

As a nurse, who had taken care of patients after open-heart surgery I new the smaller, less invasive approach was certainly a great option, but I also knew the ultimate choice was not going to be entirely mine to make. So, I put myself in the hands of The Bluhm Cardiovascular Institute at Northwestern Memorial Hospital here in Chicago and listened carefully to what the doctors had to tell me about the condition of my mitral valve. My surgeon told me robotics would not be the best approach. At that moment, I put my entire confidence and life in his skilled and capable hands.

No, he did describe all the details of what it would be like recovering from the scariest surgery of my life…but he was confident he could repair my valve without having to give me an artificial one…but that was not a guarantee until he was actually inside my chest looking at my heart.

I will not bore you with all I did not know about  post-operative open heart recovery…but I will tell you that I am glad there was no book with the title, “Everything you want to know when you are having open-heart and valve repair surgery”.

As it was, from my own nursing experience… I knew and had seen entirely too much…I was scared, but fortunately blessed with an inner calm and peace. I had a supportive family to welcome me back from the hands of my surgeon.

I am happy that I did not know all the gory details about recovery from cardiovascular surgery, just as I was glad that I did not know all that I would experience after delivering my first child, 30+ years before. I knew enough.  Professionals, friends and family helped me muddle through those six difficult post operative weeks after heart surgery just as they did as I muddled through those six blurry postpartum weeks as a young woman years ago.

A funny thing comes to mind about these so very different life experiences…I always tell my friends when they pack for a hospital stay to bring their own pillow…it will bring them much needed comfort.

As a new mom, when I left the hospital for the 2 hour trip home with my infant daughter I used my own pillow to sit on…after heart surgery, I was given a MENDED HEART pillow…on my way home, I used that pillow to hug .

For me…I guess all I really needed to know was have a pillow handy.

8 Postpartum Symptoms I Never Knew Existed | Babys First Year Blog.

Mommy Blogs and “TMI”

The New York Times declared her to be “Queen Of The Mommy Bloggers,” but it’s been fully a decade since Heather Armstrong started her blog, Dooce, lost her job because of it, and embraced not without difficulty motherhood — all in public view.

via Top 100 Mom Blogs — all the Best Mom Blogs, including Dooce.

MOMMY BLOGS AND “TMI”                                                                                                (Too much information)

Are too many kids making guest appearances on their mommy’s blog, on instagrams or on Facebook pages?

 

I find this a serious question and somewhat of a dilemma.

As to what is the right answer,  I am stumped.

How much is too much when it comes to exposing our personal life in photos and words online?

….Children are appearing in droves on social media. These appearances will be visible forever and ever…and it is not the fairytale forever and ever where all live happily ever after.

Blogs by moms are so popular especially if they are authentic and share honest feelings about motherhood…all that is good…all that is bad and even at times down right ugly. Sometimes the bad and the ugly win out when it comes to viewership which is what counts if you want to entice brands to advertise on your site and actually profit from your work.

Is this not  a type of exploitation of our children? And is it all bad?

I love photos and children’s photos are so innocent and beautiful without being posed…so why not share them? But do you ever wonder as I do, who actually is viewing your photos?

How tight should our boundaries be???  Should we be reconsidering how much  we  discuss our children online? Are there situations and anecdotes that do not belong on line in a blog?

A seasoned writer, whom I respect, recently said to me, “This generation is not afraid of the internet as our generation is and they are not as concerned with overall privacy“.

I struggle with privacy and boundaries whenever I write about family and children. Literally, I have thousands of photos uploaded from which I could draw, but I find myself searching “Flickr’s Creative Commons” for an appropriate picture.

I love reading the “Mommy Blogs“…many of them are so beautifully and sincerely written and when photos are included it just adds to their overall beauty and authenticity.

The questions that I have about our children’s privacy are important ones in my eyes. They are influenced by my social worker lens from which I view kids and boundaries.

I hope that you can help answer some of my questions and that my blog is a good balance of what I can share and what I feel is too personal to print.

 

Talking About Kids Online: Whats Too Much Information? | Strollerderby.