Books are Best as Holiday Gifts

Posted on November 18, 2017 by llpitlwp

Why Books Make the Best Holiday Gifts

by Saralyn Richard

Holiday Gifts

Black Friday will soon be upon us, and the ritual of hunting for the best Holiday gifts will resume in earnest. Children’s gifts are often the hardest to choose, especially when the recipients live remotely and their preferences for things aren’t clear.

Even when there are wish lists, children outgrow toys and games as quickly as clothes, so something that is cherished today may be ignored tomorrow. Fads for certain children’s gifts pass quickly. Remember the hacky sack, Cabbage Patch™ dolls, Beanie Babies™, and spinners?

Oftentimes the gifts children want are not the ones parents want them to have. Noisy, messy, unassembled, or violent toys may fall into this category. Gifts of live animals might be problematic, as well. We all know horror stories about perfect gifts that turned into nightmares.

The one gift that meets the most positive criteria without having the negative ones, is a book. Books are:

Practical,
Entertaining,
Durable,
Sharable,
Educational,
Enlightening,
Easy to wrap

Most books come with targeted age ranges, so you can match the gift to the child with confidence. If you know what the child’s interests are, you can surely find a book that fits. Books extend the child’s experiences beyond his circumstances, so he can learn about new people, places, and things. They also extend the child’s vocabulary, as well as other reading skills, no matter the age of the reader. Books create opportunities for children and adults to share quality time, discuss worthwhile topics, ask and answer questions, and build relationships.

Toys and games come and go, but a great book lives forever in the mind of its readers. That’s why we think books make the perfect Holiday gifts.

Saralyn Richard is a former educator and author of Naughty Nana, a children’s picture book, ranked #30 on the Goodreads list for Best Picture Book. For reviews and other information, check out www.palmcirclepress.com/naughtynana/bookstore.

Parenting in the Loop: Mom Myths

Posted on November 6, 2017 by llpitlwp

Parenting in the Loop’s Weekend – Mom Myths

newborn, Mom Myths

New Mom and the “Goddess Myth”

“We live in a world where people fling judgments with their fingertips.”

As a mother and grandmother in today’s world climate it disturbs me how much judgment there is about what makes a “good enough mother”.

Years ago, Winnicott, a pediatrician coined the term “good enough mother” where he described how a mom becomes attached to her newborn baby by meeting his/her every need. As her child gets older she allows him/her to go out on his own explorations experiencing some frustrations yet she remains empathetic and caring. It is a teaching moment of which she may not even be aware.

In discussing the mother (or other caretaker’s) adaptation to the needs of the baby, Winnicott thought that the “good enough mother” starts out with an almost complete adaptation to her baby’s needs. She is entirely devoted to the baby and quickly sees to his every need. She sacrifices her own sleep and her own needs to to fulfill the needs of her infant.

As time goes by, however, the mother allows the infant to experience small amounts of frustration. She is empathetic and caring, but does not immediately rush to the baby’s every cry. Of course, at first the time-limit to this frustration must be very short. She may allow the baby to cry for a few minutes before her nighttime feeding, but only for a few minutes. She is not “perfect” but she is “good enough” in that the child only feels a slight amount of frustration.

Source: What Is a “Good Enough Mother”? | Psychology Today

Today, moms are bombarded with information and experiences of other moms peppered with some statistically proven facts which are not always scientifically significant. For many of these women it is information overload and adds to their over arching anxiety surrounding pregnancy and parenthood.

I found this to be true when I was a practicing obstetrical nurse. Many women, who were adamant about following a very severely scripted birth plan set themselves up for failure and or disappointment from the minute they went into labor. Trying to superimpose a template upon a very natural human experience which sometimes is accompanied by many curves and detours before the actual delivery of a healthy baby is not the wisest approach to labor and delivery.

In my obstetrical nursing practice, I approached every laboring women as a unique person who was going to have her own unique experience. There was no template and no definition of a successful delivery except having a healthy baby and mom in the end. As a professional nurse we do have standards of practice to maintain which are put in place to safe guard against malpractice and negligence. They are not in place to make every delivery the same like a cookie cutter experience. The human being just does not allow for cookie cutter outcomes. We are all different as are our fingerprints. These are not myths they are facts.

It is time that moms and moms to be look at the templates that they are trying to live by and realize that this type of framework can more than likely set them up for disappointment when there is no need for it. Delivering a healthy baby is the goal and getting there is a different journey for every mom.There is no room for judgement or myths. But there is plenty of room for support and celebration of our individuality.

Motherhood in the connected era doesn’t have to be dominated by any myth. Social media can just as easily help celebrate our individual experience and create community through contrast. Moms have to stick together even as we walk our separate paths. We have to spot the templates and realize there are no templates. We have to talk about our failures and realize there are no failures.

Source: The Goddess Myth: Why Many New Mothers Feel Guilt and Shame | Time.com

Parenting in the Loop Weekend

Posted on September 29, 2017 by llpitlwp

Parenting in the Loop Weekend

Feeding Baby…”no judgement”

As a grandma I am amazed at the amount of parenting advice is at the touch of today’s parent’s fingertips. Although it is awesome to have so many answers to every question, it can also be overwhelming.

I am well aware of many websites that offer advice from “must have” products to ease raising a happy, healthy child.

Since my granddaughter was born nine years ago I have a renewed interest in the world of mommies and daddies. The twenty-five year gap since I was the parent of a baby was the impetus for this blog.

I now have a two year old grandson and things keep changing exponentially.

In a effort to be true to my own background as a mother/baby nurse and clinical social worker I have focused on child safety, food allergies and parenting skills from a few select people. On my Facebook page I curate products, recalls, and parenting guidance. Very infrequently am I involved in sponsored posts which inadvertently, could color my opinions. I advocate for kids with food allergies and kids safety especially in cars.

Here are a few of my favorite connections:

Dr Harvey Karp and his “Happiest Baby on the Block” and “Happiest Toddler on the Block”
The Baby Guy NYC
Janet Lansbury
Magda Gerber RIE Parenting

Here’s the deal: We have never had so much information at our fingertips in the history of parenting. Data, studies, websites, books, podcasts, articles, blogs, columns (ahem), classes, therapists, coaches (again, ahem). There is a never-ending list of ways that parents can get advice and instruction and information. Yet we have never been more anxious and insecure about our roles. Are we good enough? Are we providing the best opportunities for our children? Are we too lenient? Too strict? Too absent? Too present? For every question we have, we can sit at the computer and search and search, giving our brain unending fodder for worry and uncertainty. For every study we find, another will disprove it.

Source: Parenting books won’t end your anxiety. Here’s what to do instead. – The Washington Post

I hope you have an enjoyable weekend. They are always too short!

Weekend from ParentingintheLoop

Posted on June 11, 2017 by llpitlwp

Weekend from Parenting in the Loop

summer weekend

Summer Safety

Weekends and summer are times of get togethers with family and friends for fun and food. Keeping it safe is essential especially for kids as they rely on the adults to keep them free from hazards.

“It only takes a second”…

How many times I have read that statement and spoken those words?

One weekend many years ago I was standing at the Top of the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco with my one year old daughter in between me and my husband. We both admired the view at exactly the same moment. When we looked down at our daughter she was not there and no where in sight! The elevator doors were just closing and my heart was skipping many beats at the same moment. It seemed like an eternity but it was only a second later that I heard her voice saying, “hi”…”hi” and I realized that she was walking throughout the hotel bar greeting all of the people who were having drinks and enjoying the gorgeous view.

Yes…it only takes a second for a catastrophe to happen. Summer, pools and beaches are so much fun for everyone but it only takes a second to change that into a horrific event. Keep your eyes on your children around water no matter what. “It only takes a second”

Now every time we go to the pool or near any kind of water, I review safety strategies with my 3-year-old son. I remind him …

Anytime he doesn’t know what to do or is scared in the water, to look for the sky and roll over on his back.
That he knows how to find the edge of the pool and that it’s always a safe place to grab on to.
That he knows how to blow bubbles and close his mouth so water doesn’t get in.

I Only Looked Away for a Second

Have a happy and a safe weekend!

Weekend Pick: “What Does an Allergy Attack Look Like?”

Posted on May 5, 2017 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pick:

Allergy

“What Does an Allergic Reaction Look Like?”

Read and Learn

It seems that every month marks a cause and May is no different. It is dedicated as Allergy Awareness Month. At our house we are acutely aware of food allergies because our granddaughter is peanut and tree nut allergic. She also has asthma. We found this out before she was two years old and it was all new to us.

My niece has a teenage son who has many food allergies so I looked to her first. What I found out was how difficult it was to impress upon other adults the supreme seriousness of anaphylactic reactions to foods like nuts, eggs, milk. In minutes a child can be dead from ingesting or even touching an allergen.

What I have found over the years is that stories from other parents of kids who have had anaphylactic reactions sometimes have an effect on people that statistics, and medical information just does not. Parents sharing their anguish as they recount watching their child experience cardiac arrest after eating or touching a peanut makes people listen.

Just as Jimmy Kimmel’s tearful story about his newborn son’s cardiac anomaly and emergency heart surgery affected millions of viewers, we need more stories from food allergy parents to help with awareness of this disability.

This week I read Julia Ryan’s story about her son Tagg. It left me with chills! She mentions Oakley Debbs in her story. I too think of Oakley, who died this past Thanksgiving and whose parents have founded RedSneakers.org in his memory.

Julia Ryan and Merrill Debbs have different stories but both women have shared theirs in order to prevent others from suffering as they have.

Please support Food Allergy Awareness in any way you can .

You may save a life!

“Make sure you’re sharing from your scars, not your open wounds.” I need to talk about the two times in less than two weeks my son was transferred by ambulance-a Critical Care Transfer Unit-from one emergency room to second larger hospital and admitted to the ICU. I know this could have been written better but sometimes done is better than none.

Source: Julia Ryan: What does an allergy attack look like.

Weekend Picks from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on March 24, 2017 by llpitlwp

Looking for a Rainbow…the Weekend Optimist!

Weekend Picks from Parenting in the Loop

As a clinical social worker, I am frequently made aware of the seriousness that surrounds a child when he or she is made a confidante by one or both of his parents. This occurs when the child is treated more like a friend than a child, who is need of guidance himself.

Parents are at risk for doing this when their children are used as a sounding board because of close proximity during times of strife and stress whether it be work or family stressors.

Our children are not our friends. They should not be exposed to all of our adult worries and problems. Children do not have the life experience to deal with their own problems much less the struggles of the adults they are supposed to rely upon to be their confidantes and supporters.

When this happens to children it is called “parentifying”. This occurs when your child feels like your parent because you are sharing your difficulties.

Never underestimate your children. They empathize and take on your feelings of frustration and anger. They repeat your words from the time they are toddlers when they have no idea what the words even mean. Funny thing is, they continue not to understand our words when we parentify them as they do not have the emotional constructs to handle our adult problems.

But according to psychologists, continuously confiding in your child can be damaging to their long-term emotional well-being. And while an isolated incident of rehashing a bad day at work won’t cause harm, regularly discussing adult problems the way you would with a peer, forces children into inappropriate parenting roles similar to that of proxy therapists or surrogate spouses.

Source: Your child is not your confidant – The Washington Post

Then, there are families characterized by having “boundary problems.” Human organizations and relationships have clearly set boundaries in which certain role expectations are assigned and fulfilled by appropriate people. For instance, it is for adults to work and earn a sufficient living to provide safety and security while children are growing up and attending school. This also allows kids to play and enjoy childhood so that they can go through healthy development and become normal adults who are ready to fulfill their roles when the time comes.

Source: Family Boundaries and the Parentified Child

The weekend is in front of us. I don’t know about you but there just are not enough hours in our time off to do all the things that are on our plates especially when the weather does not cooperate.

Here in Chicago we are looking at a weekend full of Spring rain that of course is necessary but it is not a welcome sight especially after a very dreary winter and a house full of people with a case of severe “cabin fever”.

What are you doing this Weekend?

Parenting in the Loop Weekend News: March is Trisomy Awareness Month

Posted on March 17, 2017 by llpitlwp

Weekend News : March is Trisomy Awareness Month

All moms-to-be want to deliver a healthy baby.

From the time a woman learns that she is pregnant it becomes important to maintain a healthy diet and lifestyle so that the growing embryo and fetus has the best chance of developing normally.

Trisomy is determined early in pregnancy when there are three chromosomes in every cell rather than the normal two.

Chromosomes are the structures in cells that contain genes. Each person normally has 23 pairs of chromosomes, or 46 in all. An individual inherits one chromosome from the mother’s egg and one from the father’s sperm. When an egg and sperm join together, they normally form a fertilized egg with 46 chromosomes.

Sometimes a mistake in cell division occurs before a woman gets pregnant. A developing egg or sperm ends up with an extra chromosome. When this cell joins with a normal egg or sperm cell, the resulting embryo has 47 chromosomes instead of 46.

March is Trisomy Awareness Month. Many of us know someone affected by trisomy. All cases of trisomy are unique as is each affected individual.

Several developmental problems are associated with trisomy

Over the last 10 years there has been much research by the March of Dimes which has given us more information about this chromosomal disorder and the associated abnormalities.

I know the weekend is sometimes as busy as our work week. The last month or so has been full of news that for some of us has been upsetting. I find that reading and keeping myself knowledgeable about topics reduces my anxiety especially it it is a worrisome issue.

As I write this, we are faced with many organizations possibly losing funding to do the research that will give us the ability to live a life that is the healthiest possible.

If you read this article and the link below from the March of Dimes over the weekend perhaps you will give thought to supporting this deserving organization.

If you don’t remember polio it is because when I was a child a vaccine was developed to prevent it…the March of Dimes was supportive of the research that ended this deadly disease.

I hope you all enjoy this almost Spring weekend.

Source: News Moms Need » Blog Archive » March is Trisomy Awareness Month

Weekend Pick from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on February 23, 2017 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pick from Parenting in the Loop

Food allergies invaded our family about 8 years ago with my granddaughter breaking out in whole body hives. It was a very scary and life changing experience for her and for us.

Learning about food allergies is essential and it is an ongoing routine which includes scrutinizing food labels and monitoring your child’s environment on a daily basis

There have been milestones in my granddaughter’s awareness and self advocacy over the years.

Recently, I came across this wonderful summary and timeline of skills that can be life saving for your child with food allergies.

Weekends are a time when kids are out and about with families and friends…it is a break from work and school but not a break from allergies to food.

Even if you are not affected by these allergies yourself it might be helpful if you knew more about them so you could assist if a child or an adult around you has an allergic reaction.

Growing up with food allergies takes baby steps. Spokin has compiled 36 milestones for your food allergic child to help track your progress and theirs.

Source: 36 Skills To Teach Your Food Allergic Child — SPOKIN

Happy Weekend!

Food Allergies: Family Urges Food Allergy Education

Posted on December 6, 2016 by llpitlwp

Food Allergies: Family Urges Food Allergy Education

red-sneakers-for-oakley

#livlikeoaks

It has been a long week catching up after Thanksgiving and moving on to preparing for Christmas.

As many of you know we have a grandchild that has food allergies, specifically to peanuts and tree nuts. Along the way since her diagnosis we have made many friends who understand the severity of such an allergy but of course there are those times when misunderstanding of anaphylaxis can make all of us involved in the safety of our grandchild frustrated and angry.

I would like to share the story of Oakley Debbs, a young 11year old boy who died over his Thanksgiving celebration with his family after he accidentally ate a piece of a holiday gifted coffee cake at a relatives’ house. His is a story that his parents want all of us to remember by wearing red sneakers on December 10th. That is the day of his funeral and celebration of his short life as a twin of his sister Olivia.

Managing food allergies is no easy matter and it demands constant vigilance which includes carrying epi-pens at all times and closely reading and understanding food labels. Eating out can be a nightmare which adds a huge dimension to traveling.

I am concerned with managing a safe environment for children and education is obligatory. The learning curve can for food allergies can be steep and tedious but there are many support groups and great information available. I cannot emphasize consulting with a pediatric allergist if at all possible and making an action plan that is adhered to all the time.

Merrill Debbs is convinced that her son, Oakley, might still be alive if she’d known more about food allergies and how fatal reactions can come on slowly and insidiously. The boy, who had asthma and had tested positive for a mild peanut and tree nut allergy, died after consuming a piece of pound cake the day before Thanksgiving. Oakley thought it was safe to eat, but there was a walnut inside and he’d already swallowed it before realizing what happened.

Source: After 11-year-old boy’s sudden death, mom warns about nut allergies – TODAY.com

Red Sneakers Foundation – raising awareness of the danger of asthma & nut allergies, educational programs, research & public policy initiatives.

Source: Red Sneakers Foundation

As they prepare for a big memorial tribute to Oakley on Dec. 10, Merrill and Robert Debbs spoke to Allergic Living about their loss, their concerns about vital information they never got at the allergist’s office, and their resolve to raise anaphylaxis advocacy through their new Red Sneakers awareness campaign. (Red was Oakley’s favorite shoe color.) “Whatever we can do to help people protect children who have these food allergies – labeling, education to protect these children so it never happens again,” says Robert of the couple’s decision to start a campaign and website while still coming to grips with their son’s death. Both parents now think they were far more informed about asthma than they were about the management of food allergies and risks of anaphylaxis.

Source: After Son’s Nut Allergy Tragedy, Family Urges Food Allergy Education | Allergic Living

For more information and Food Allergy Education and Research (FARE) :https://www.foodallergy.org/#menu

Weekend Pick from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on November 18, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pick from Parenting in the Loop

It has been a long month and now Thanksgiving is only a few days away.

We have one weekend to prepare for the get together that could raise our blood pressure even more this year than all the others put together.

Because of this year’s presidential election, some of us have serious friend and family disagreements that could cause some unwanted Thanksgiving indigestion.

Here are some tips on how to “argue without rancor”.

And it’s clear that American Thanksgiving gatherings are sure to be interesting affairs this year, as families split between Trump and Clinton supporters try to sit down to dinner without maiming one another — if they show up at all. So this may be a good time to explore what psychologists and philosophers say are the most effective ways to argue. And by “argue” they do not mean “quarrel,” but communicate without rancor or faulty reasoning with someone who has an opposing viewpoint, with the hope of broadening one’s understanding of people and ideas. Here are a few suggestions:

Source: How to Argue Fairly and Without Rancor (Hello, Thanksgiving!) – The New York Times

I hope you all have a lovely weekend and a Thanksgiving full of gratitude.