Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on January 22, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Do you know what the “growth mind set” mean? I wasn’t quite sure but this post explains the emphasis on learning not just the goal. Do you agree?

That’s far from the real message of the research surrounding the growth mind-set. The exclusive focus on effort has been misplaced, says Dr. Dweck, whose book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” delivered the phrase into popular culture. The emphasis should be on learning as an active process, not a goal. “We’re not just saying ‘effort’ anymore,” she says. “We also talk about using good strategies and getting help from others.” Part of a growth mind-set is being willing to learn how best to learn. “Parents may be familiar with the growth mind-set, but they may be using it toward the goal of the next test grade or school application. That’s not what it is. It’s about learning and improving and loving the process. Those other things come about as a byproduct.”

Source: ‘Nice Try!’ Is Not Enough – The New York Times

As we get older it is harder to make “people connections” . There are some things that can help with the feeling of being lonely. Gretchen Rubin has some suggestions in this post which is helpful to keep from being lonely even if you are alone. This is a great read for those stuck inside this weekend during “Snowmaggedon2016”.

One major challenge within happiness is loneliness. The more I’ve learned about happiness, the more I’ve come to believe that loneliness is a terrible, common, and important obstacle to consider.
Source: Lonely? 5 Habits to Consider to Combat Loneliness. | Gretchen Rubin

As a clinical social worker I am in love with the concept and theory known as the “Good Enough Mother” developed my Winnicott. Our failures actually help our kids. You will enjoy this post.

Each time we let our children down, and they get through it, they get just a little bit stronger. That is the gift of the good enough mother, and it’s time we all embrace it.

Source: The Gift of the Good Enough Mother | Seleni Institute

This weekend here in Chicago we are escaping “Snowmaggedon2016”. I have to say that I am happy about our weather even if it has been bitter cold. This week we have been in a deep freeze with a smattering of snow almost every day. After many years here in the midwest it is still something that comes along with winter that I could definitely do without.

I hope that all of my friends and everyone in the East stays safe this weekend during this horrible blizzard. It is not just the snow accumulation it is the wind and storm surge along the coastline that makes this storm so dangerous.

Please be safe and warm everyone!

Blue Monday…is a Made-up Day!

Posted on January 18, 2016 by llpitlwp

Blue Monday…is it real? What do you think?

It may be useful to know that Blue Monday was in fact created in 2005 by a British holiday company. The idea was derived not from the results of any in-depth research, but instead by using a calculation involving such factors as current weather conditions and debt levels. However, while it had no basis in science, the idea caught on, and now many of us have come to dread it.

Source: How to beat Blue Monday

In reality it is not that difficult to beat “the blues” which are so common this time of year when it is cold, dark and dreary outside. Just do not stay cooped up inside under your down comforter.

Here is the synopsis of “how to beat blue Monday” which you can use anytime to beat the blues.

smile
aerobic exercise
enjoy the light outside for at least 10 minutes
be grateful
be altruistic

For me personally, I use a “Happy Light” on my work table. I have used it for about ten years during the long dreary days of winter here in the midwest.

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on January 15, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

My pics this week are from the New York Times. Motherlode always has some really great posts and is a blog that I catch up on during my weekend. I follow many blogs and bloggers, there are so many good ones on all kinds of topics. Once I start reading it is hard to stop sometimes. It is my way to binge!

These three are my favorites this week. I hope you get a chance to read them during this long weekend.

Last fall, I tried adding another question to the mix: Can I get cash for this? Online consignment stores and what essentially amount to used clothing buyers, particularly for designer goods, began popping up in my Facebook feed, promising to help me “reclaim the value” in my closet — and, I soon discovered, my children’s closets as well.

Source: Get Paid to Organize Your Children’s Closets (and Yours) – The New York Times

Dearest Parenting Experts, What advice do you have for dealing with feigned incompetence in previously capable, competent children? When a student suddenly regresses, claiming they can’t complete skills I know they have mastered, or when a child suddenly loses the ability to do the laundry, say, flailing his boneless, ineffectual arms about as he jabs at buttons on the washing machine, wailing all the while that he can’t possibly do laundry; it’s too hard.

Source: When Children Say ‘I Can’t,’ but They Can, and Adults Know It – The New York Times

Over the last few months, researchers from Pew have been looking at parents, teenagers and the Internet. They’ve looked at how teenagers live their lives online, and how they feel about that new (to adults) arena. Now, in a newly released report, the researchers are exploring what parents and teenagers say about how parents monitor teenagers online and, perhaps more interestingly, how they don’t

Source: Parents Monitoring Teenagers Online, and Mostly, Getting It Right – The New York Times

If you have a three day weekend because of the Martin Luther King Holiday take some time to reflect on what this day means to you and your family.

Posting family pics on social media? Please protect them from thieves!

Posted on January 13, 2016 by llpitlwp

Social Media and Your Family Pictures

With parents using social media sites to post family photos, do they need to worry about the photos they’re sharing being taken? The short answer: yes.

This is such an important question to ask yourself if you share family information online.

Source: Post family pics on social media? Here’s how to avoid having them stolen

Pictures of kids on online can be used by others without your knowledge. If that is surprising to you then you need to read this link from a mom whose family pics were used without her permission.

Protecting my photos does concern me even if none of them contain pictures of my family. They are my photos and my property even on social media. But understanding the internet the way I do makes me constantly vigilant like a protective animal keeping their ‘babies’ out of harms way. I am always aware of unethical users who are slithering around the web looking for photos to use as their own.

Our children and grandchildren rely and trust us to protect them and we need to include the internet as a possible place where they could be abused in the virtual world. Their digital footprint is literally in our hands every time we post news or photos about them. What an awesome thought!

So thoroughly think about the ‘stuff’ you post on Facebook, Instagram and your other social accounts especially when it relates to your children. Parents should also ask grandparents to do the same and perhaps monitor family tags that might include your kids.

Privacy settings on social media are paramount to judicious use of the internet.

Baby Development: 4 Months and 3 Weeks

Posted on January 12, 2016 by llpitlwp

Baby Development at 4 months and 3 weeks

It is so exciting to watch baby change and grow into a socially interactive little person.

one moment in time

At this age he is still crying to communicate his needs like hunger and “change me” but he’s starting to show you his sense of humor when he laughs at surprises. He might like a quiet game of peek-a-boo where he will share some giggles!

He is now also enjoying various sounds. Try making noises for him like whistling or create your own animal sounds and see how he interacts with you. These are true moments of joy!

Learn more fascinating facts about your 4-month-old’s baby development.

Encourage your baby’s laughs, giggles, and smiles with funny faces and lots of general silliness. You don’t need special toys or instruments to create them.

Source: Your 4-month-old: Week 3 | BabyCenter

Since it is winter there are germs around that cause RSV or respiratory syncytial virus. It starts with cold-like symptoms which can lead to ear infections, bronchiolitis (infection of the small airways), pneumonia or later development of asthma or other respiratory problems.

Many babies get RSV before they turn 2 years old but it can be more serious for babies under 6 months old with medical problems and premature babies whose immune systems might be weaker.

Symptoms of RSV in baby

Baby develops a mild
Cough gets worse over a few days
Breathing becomes labored
His nostrils may begin to flare when breathing
Excessive expansion of his rib cage
Tightening of his abdominal muscles
Grunting when breathing
Wheezing when breathing (High pitched whistling sound when breathing)
Quickened breathing (More than 60 breaths per minute)
Blush lips, nails
Feeding problems

If you suspect your child has RSV

Call you child’s doctor
RSV is a virus so there is no antibiotics for it
However if your child is having trouble breathing the doctor may prescribe some breathing treatments
Keep him away from smoke and fumes
Keep him well hydrated
Cool mist vaporizer can help
Saline nose drops can help
Flu shots may be recommended in the future by your doctor

Baby development is slow and deliberate. It is like watching a tiny chick hatch from an egg. It seems to take forever for each little peck to crack the protective shell. Your baby is trying to tackle his environment with of course a little help from you.A

At times you might see him actually appearing to struggle. He might be trying to turn himself over at this stage, it will be a milestone task for him and when he finally accomplishes it he might actually surprise himself and maybe even give out a giggle. Think about how it felt when you actually rode a two wheeler bike for the first time, when you realized no one was holding you anymore. Your baby is experiencing those monumental moments now so let him enjoy them without too much if any assistance from you.

Enjoy the moments of baby development as they happen in real time right before your eyes. Try to tuck these memories away carefully like a fragile treasure so they can surface at a time in the future when he is all grown up but still feels like your ‘baby’.

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on January 10, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

The holiday season throws me off schedule as it does for many others. I publish my blog pretty much without any help. My daughter does write for me when she has time but I am usually the one who actually edits and clicks “publish”. So hence the lapse in postings. My schedule is God, family and then all other things.

Here is my delayed weekend picks.

Phones for Kids:

A lot of us have kids that are becoming ready for their own mobile phones. Maybe they are just for checking in or for safety of knowing that they can get in touch with a parent if necessary ICE (In Case of Emergency).

What do you do to prepare them for having a cellphone at their fingertips? Here are some tips.

She’s going to be a few minutes late.” “I told her we’re almost there.” “Her train is being held at the station.” “I told her we’re here.” “I’m asking her where she is.” “The train is moving again.” “She’s almost here.”

Source: Preparing a Child to Own a Mobile Phone, but Not Always Use It – The New York Times

Social Media and Kids:

Along with cellphones comes social media for kids. A perplexing time for young adolescents. Parents need to stay savvy and ahead of their kids if that is possible. Social media is here and before you know it your kids will be exposed to it. What is your child’s “Peer Culture”. Check out this piece and keep on the look out for more social media influences in your child’s environment.

Thirteen-year-olds who are already on social media spend a lot of time there, living their social lives both online and off. CNN’s new documentary, “Being 13,” and an accompanying report, “Being Thirteen: Social Media and the Hidden World of Young Adolescents’ Peer Culture”, reveal an entire world of just barely teenage posting, commenting, jockeying and, most of all, lurking on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

Source: Seven Ways Parents Can Help 13-Year-Olds Start Their Social Media Lives Right – The New York Times

Porn and Children:

Pornography exists so how do we protect our children? How do we talk to them about pornography? Here is an article that discusses this uncomfortable topic. In the end it does suggest that parents should be talking about this topic and sexuality with their teenagers.

In Does Porn Hurt Children in the Sunday Review, David Segal pointed to the absence of definitive research linking pornography exposure during adolescence to negative outcomes for teenagers and noted the ethical impossibility of conducting the kinds of studies that might prove, or disprove, such links. In spite of the lack of evidence of harm, every researcher he interviewed felt uneasy about the messages teenagers might take from pornography and suggested that “at a minimum” parents should be talking with their teenagers about sexuality in general and porn in particular.

Source: How to Talk to Your Teenager About Pornography – The New York Times

Weekend time is my favorite. A time to switch gears and slow down for some moments of reading and just kind of catching up on some stuff that gets lost during the hectic weekdays. I find that it takes a time to unwind which is usually Friday night dinner out with friends and on Saturday a slower pace is enjoyed with sometimes a lunchtime meal at a favorite spot. Sunday usually I start to gear up again to prep for the week ahead.

What do you do on your weekend?

Baby development at 3 months and 3 weeks old!

Posted on December 13, 2015 by llpitlwp

Baby development

So many changes in baby development over such a short time!

He is learning so much:

He is starting to make conclusions about his world

He has so much curiosity

He loves looking at himself

He may like a toy with an unbreakable mirror so he can see himself and admire his looks even though he won’t really know that it is him he is looking at.

Sleeping and baby development:

Sleep patterns may be solidifying making it easier for you to get some rest. Gratefully my little grandson is a great little sleeper but some babies to not settle into a nice pattern until 6 months old. Baby should be now taking two daytime naps.

Interacting with others:

Your baby may stop eating to listen to you talking to him so talk to him about what you are doing in the kitchen and around the house and let him coo and talk back to you.
He is also starting to laugh…what a joy it is to hear his laughter.
Keep him close so he can hear everything…he will really like watching other babies and toddlers and even you dogs and cats. But be careful of him around your pets and make sure the environment is safe.

Grab and go

Your baby can reach for things now and is mastering grabbing give him interesting things to play with and hold.

Individual babies:

These baby development guidelines are they happen at different times for different babies. If you have questions please consult your healthcare provider.

Your life: Changing friendships

Having a new baby brings changes in your relationships with everyone — including your friends. Sometimes old friends who have no children are as delighted by your baby as you are, and aside from a few accommodations to your schedule, things continue as they once did. But others may not be as excited about your new phase of life. Some may be envious, others bored, and still others may simply have no interest in children. You can’t blame your friends entirely. You’re changing, too. Interests you once shared with certain people — skydiving, nightclubbing, shopping for shoes till you dropped — may no longer mesh with your lifestyle.

Although you can’t expect everything to stay exactly the same, it helps to strive for a balance between your old way of being together and your new situation. Your friend can’t expect you to abandon all thoughts of your baby, and you can’t expect her to want to talk only about motherhood. Look for common ground in your activities and time together. It’s great if you can sometimes go out to lunch, just the two of you, and other times have her come to your house to visit with the baby, for example.

You may drift apart from some pals, but at the same time, your baby will bring you into the orbit of new friends. Through playgroups, mom support networks, and chance encounters, you and your partner will meet other new parents with whom you have a lot in common.

Source: Your 3-month-old: Week 3 | BabyCenter

If you feel sad or depressed at this time, you may be experiencing Postpartum Depression please contact you healthcare provider for help.

PostPartum Progress is very helpful resource for PPD also.

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on December 5, 2015 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Another weekend is upon us and we have yet another shooting to think about.

This week has been a seriously tragic one as we here in the United States watched yet another “mass shooting” take place in San Bernardino California. My gaze was riveted on the television screen as the helpers tried to assist the victims and the police tried to hunt down the shooters.

Growing up in NY, I was made aware of my surroundings at a very early age. It was necessary in order for me to remain safe from predators, who wanted to steal your purse or your life from you. Stranger danger was just a fact of my life as a city kid.

My alertness is therefore second nature, I lock everything, I look around me in garages, I carry pepper spray. But now there is a different anxiety and alertness that I live with, it permeates me from my core as I think about my granddaughter at school, my own daughters as they go about their lives and my husband as he works to save lives.

What happened in San Bernardino CAN happen anywhere at anytime!

This morning I have to share some stories with you about what we can do concerning the violence in our country and our neighborhoods.

It is serious stuff when other countries like Australia are now warning their citizens that travel to the United States is dangerous at this time of violence.

The following is a piece written by Noah Pozner’s grandmother published this weekend on her blog Farine . Noah’s life was violently ended in school at Sandy Hook. He was only six. Please read.

f you truly care, if you are not just paying lip-service to the awfulness of the moment, if you want our country to change, here is what you can do:Join a grass-root effort: Everytown for Gun Safety is a good place to start;Champion gun safety among your friends and relatives (and if you do own guns, please start at home);Call your congressmen and let them know what you expect from them;Vote with both your conscience and your heart in the next election.

Source: Another mass shooting

My faith is important to me and prayer is part of my life but I agree there is more to solving a problem than “thoughts and prayers”.

We must take action and responsibility for making our country a safer place not just for ourselves but for our children and grandchildren. Think about what you can do…even small actions can make a difference.

Your ‘thoughts’ should be about steps to take to stop this carnage,” tweeted Senator Chris Murphy of Connecticut. “Your ‘prayers’ should be for forgiveness if you do nothing — again.”A day after the California carnage, the Senate decided to do nothing, again, voting down a measure that would have made it more difficult for people on the terror watch list, felons and the mentally ill to buy guns.

Source: No More Thoughts and Prayers – The New York Times

The collective we are not doing enough! This weekend I hope ~~some~~ most of us will do something to help prevent more gun violence.

Another day, another ghastly shooting in America.So far this year, the United States has averaged more than one mass shooting a day, according to the ShootingTracker website, counting cases of four or more people shot. And now we have the attack on Wednesday in San Bernardino, Calif., that killed at least 14 people.

Source: On Guns, We’re Not Even Trying – The New York Times

I know this is a stressful time of year but for some people it is an extremely sad time as well. Please take time out this weekend to think about what you can do to make a difference.

Baby Development 2-month-old: Week 4

Posted on November 27, 2015 by llpitlwp

Baby Development 2-month-old: Week 4

Almost 3months old…baby is growing and moving and cooing!

Reading is one of the best things that you can do with your baby at this early age.

It actually helps him to develop his ear for the cadence of your voice and for spoken language.

You can enjoy singing to him as well as using animated voices and funny sounds and accents.

When you baby looks away he is getting tired so give him a rest.

Some nice sweet little books to read to your little one….Goodnight Moon, Good Night Gorilla or any brightly colored board books with pictures.

Flat Head (positional plagiocephaly) and baby development

Now is the time that you may begin to notice a flattened area on your baby’s head. It is usually due to sleeping too much in the same position which is not uncommon at this age. Their heads are soft and their skulls are pliable. This condition will usually round itself out on its own as you baby finds other positions and begins to move around on his own, crawling and sitting up.

If you are very concerned about flatness please consult with you pediatrician and perhaps get a referral to a pediatric neurosurgeon or craniofacial specialist. If treatment is necessary some suggestions might be to make sure your baby is spending enough time on his tummy. Make sure you supervise him during tummy time. This time will help him strengthen his neck muscles. Stronger muscles in the neck will allow him to move his head around especially while he is sleeping. He will not then spend so much time sleeping in one position.

You may have also seen babies wearing helmets or custom fitted head bands for a few months. This helps to correct more severe cases of positional plagiocephaly. It is important to get help as soon as you notice any flattening of the head.

Well meaning advice: Beware of the baby development experts!

Most moms get their fair share of advice from well-meaning friends and relatives. It can irritate you no end if you let it. My advice is don’t listen to most of it…do what you think is best for you and your baby.

It works to just say, “thank-you” or “I’ll think about that”. Most advice is given because just seeing a baby brings back mommy memories even 30+ year old memories. Trust me I am guilty of this and have to be really careful of this habit. I just can’t help it!

Baby Development Source: Your 2-month-old: Week 4 | BabyCenter

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop-Holiday Gift Guides 2015

Posted on November 20, 2015 by llpitlwp

Holiday Gift Guides 2015

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

The holidays can be a wonderful time of giving but sometimes there are just too many choices and deciding what is appropriate for kids, young adults and parents can be challenging.

I have been fortunate to find several Holiday Gift Guides 2015 that really help me out at this time of year. I thought I would share my favorite 2 guides with you. I also included two of my favorite gift links…Kiwi Crate and iBlog Magazine for my blogger friends. Happy Browsing and Shopping!

Source: 2015 Cool Mom Picks Holiday Gift Guide |

A blog about fashion, arts, food, travel and family straight from the Empire State

Source: TheNewYorkMom – A blog about fashion, arts, food, travel and family straight from the Empire State

My own Holiday Gift Guides 2015

Themed crates of arts & crafts and science projects for kids delivered monthly. Create, imagine, explore!

Source: Shop Kiwi Crate

Click the Gift Guide Don’t forget iBlog’s Special Holiday Gift! $0.99 cents/mth 1 Year Digital Memberships until Dec. 31st, 2015! Apply this code at checkout: iBlogGIFT15 Sign up now, limited time offer, low price ends soon!

Source: iBlog magazine 2015 Holiday Gift Guide – iBlog magazine

I hope these Holiday Gift Guides 2015 help make your shopping season easier. These are suggestions that are great for presents anytime…don’t you think?