Stress Busting and Parenting….

Posted on February 27, 2012 by llpitlwp

Parents and stress…oh my this is such a topic.

Long hours…little recognition for all that parenting entails

No one can really tell you what it will be like…being responsible for a child

And when some one does try…their words may fall on our deaf ears

What it will be like if you decide to have more than one

I always say in my experience when it comes to children 2 was more than double 1

It is an exponential experience

Simply, stress is part of life and parenting

As parents, trying to manage stress is up to us

It is when we manage our stress that we teach our children how to manage theirs

So here are some of my personal suggestions.

Breathe…try to concentrate on breathing when things are particularly stressful at a given moment. This practice always helps me gain some composure and control.
Sleep…get enough of it…replenish yourself regularly…most of us do not allow ourselves to sleep enough…we consider it a luxury when it is a necessity…come on… we all know this…don’t we?
Exercise…walk…park your car farther away from the store…run when you could walk…I’m always surprised at the opportunities I miss to exercise even a little during each day.
Eat…when I watch what I eat I feel better…treat yourself once a day to something special…a piece of chocolate or a cup of tea. Take the time to savor whatever it is…eat it mindfully and really enjoy that moment.

Stress will follow us around unless we do battle with it.

I do battle with it every day.

It never gives up and I try not to either.

Childhood Obesity…A Tragedy…

Posted on February 22, 2012 by llpitlwp

NOTEWORTHY WEDNESDAY!

Children, Obesity, Epidemic

Sadly, these words can all be used together to describe the plight of many youngsters today. Nearly every week there is something significant written about the obesity epidemic. It has even been related to child neglect and abuse with some states wondering if morbidly obese children should be put into foster care.

The goal is primary prevention ….prevention that starts with education of parents and preventing children from becoming overweight as infants and continuing to be overweight in childhood on into adulthood.

It has been found in some studies that a high percentage of parents do not realize that overweight children face the same health risks as overweight adults…high cholesterol, high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes. All of these medical problems have the potential of shortening a person’s life. For some reason the message and myth that a fat baby is a healthy one is still prominent in the minds of many parents and grandparents. Back in the day this was thought to be a truth that was widely accepted. For many years, it has been scientifically known that this is a false belief.

“Obesity is likely going to limit a person’s life expectancy and increase their future health care costs,” she said. “So for us, it was a realization that we need to help parents better understand that childhood obesity does track into adulthood.”

Both parents and nonparents cited parents as the group with the greatest role in preventing childhood obesity. But parents were more likely than nonparents to endorse an “it takes a village” approach to limiting childhood weight gain. About 81 percent of parents supported requiring healthy food choices in areas with vending machines, compared with 77 percent of nonparents. Likewise, 77 percent of parents supported insurance coverage of obesity treatment, compared with 69 percent of non parents. http://www.livescience.com/15847-parents-childhood-obesity.html

It is my belief that education beginning in the pre-natal period is where prevention has to begin. A healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby is first…then ongoing education and well baby care is the next step.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/health/la-heb-childhood-obesity-ads-20120103,0,4311598.story

Here’s what the experts found, with recommendations about exercise for children under the age of five:

— Babies and toddlers spend too much time strapped in car seats and buggies. That should be reduced. Get them out more, and make them walk if they are able and move actively.

— Toddlers should be physically active and allowed to move around freely for at least three hours per day.

— Babies should be active from birth, using activity mats, swimming or through active engagement with another person. http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/178830/20110712/childhood-obesity-tips-exercise-activity-children-under-five-5.html

We are currently seeing some efforts to educate parents…there is a current controversial Strong4Life campaign in Georgia to combat childhood obesity. Parent advocates are critical of the billboard and statements of obese children saying that this is a campaign based on shaming overweight children and adolescents. It is also blaming parents for not monitoring what their children eat.

The Strong4Life site offers “Learn,” “Ask” and “Get Started” pages for families, featuring information, resources and tips on exercise, nutrition and losing weight.

My feeling is DO “whatever it takes” to prevent the children of today from having a shorter life expectancy than their parents.

Bring on the billboards…bring on the controversy…and the arguments…tax sugar loaded products…hold fast food companies accountable for providing healthy choices… go ahead and criticize parents for their own eating habits and the way they feed their kids…if that’s what it will take to prevent this epidemic from spreading to the next generation…just do it.

Concurrently…develop programs to educate parents and kids to make better food choices from the get go …and if a child is in danger of death from obesity complications then unfortunately Family Services will have intervene to supervise the child’s health care. I am not in favor of taking a child from a family unless it is truly a case of child abuse and neglect with determining factors. But uncontrolled obesity in a child may soon be considered abusive and neglectful.

Nelson TF, Stovitz SD, Thomas M, LaVoi NM, Bauer KW, & Neumark-Sztainer D 2011. Do youth sports prevent pediatric obesity? A systematic review and commentary. Current sports medicine reports, 10 6, 360-70 PMID: 2207139710Share2inShare

via Weighty Matters: After School Sports Increase Junk Food and Total Calorie Consumption.

Do you know what “Kairos” moments mean?

Posted on February 21, 2012 by llpitlwp

Every time Im out with my kids — this seems to happen:An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, “Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast.”

via Glennon Melton: Dont Carpe Diem.

Has this happened to you???

What do you say when it does?

I find it kind of preachy when someone else tells me to ‘enjoy life’… it’s short.

First of all…a stranger knows nothing about me or how I look at life.

This being said…I have to admit I have made this statement to others sometimes but probably will not do so without more thought in the future…instead I may help them through one of those difficult mom moments (also dad moments) as suggested by Glennon Melton.

I have had many “Kairos” moments as a mother and grandmother although they come easier as a grandmother. I think it has to do with the wisdom that comes with age.

Kairos (καιρός) is an ancient Greek word meaning the right or opportune moment (the supreme moment). The ancient Greeks had two words for time, chronos and kairos. While the former refers to chronological or sequential time, the latter signifies a time in between, a moment of indeterminate time in which something special happens. What the special something is depends on who is using the word. While chronos is quantitative, kairos has a qualitative nature.^[1]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kairos

Age has made me realize more and more ‘Kairos’ moments…it has made me more patient and tolerant of others…their personalities, their idiosyncrasies and their flaws…it has made me tolerant of my own flaws.

‘Kairos moments’ are simply more meaningful to me than ‘chronos’ moments.

Looking for ‘Kairos’ moments in my day to day life makes being a mom and grandmother not necessarily more fun but more joyous.

And I don’t worry about ‘Carpe Diem’.

Child Abuse-Primary Prevention

Posted on February 20, 2012 by llpitlwp

A couple of weeks ago this newspaper headline Miramonte School Closing For 2 Days Over Double Teacher Arrests; Parents Protest PHOTOS, VIDEO made me sick.

Children are not protected from predators even at school. How do parents deal with news like this? Does it make you more of a helicopter parent?

I do not have children in school any more but I do have a grandchild who will be in school soon enough….worrying…

When I start to worry…it is a signal for me to go to my computer and GOOGLE…to find out just what is being done to protect children from being abused.

An interesting but sad fact is this, in most cases of child abuse…the child is abused by someone he/she knows right in their own family…which is why it does not always get recognized immediately. A mother, sometimes, does not believe her child and inadvertently enables the abuser. Sadly, it can be a very complicated scenario even involving more than one child in a family.

In my google search, I came across a program developed through ChildHelp.org. This program deals with ‘primary’ prevention and has learning modules that are thorough and user friendly. Child Help recognizes that abuse comes in many forms, sexual, emotional, physical and even bullying. Kathie Lee Gifford shares a video in which she explores the ‘primary’ prevention approach to child abuse. Kathie Lee has been a child advocate and worked with Child Help for many years.

Information is available for parents and caregivers on the developmental characteristics of the child; factors that create risk as well as those that help keep children safe; and how to handle a child’s disclosure of abuse should it occur. By providing parents and caregivers with the resources to be proactive and involved, we strengthen our mission to keep children safe!

The Issue of Child Abuse and Neglect

Internet and Cell Phone Concerns

Signs and Symptoms

Impact of Child Abuse and Neglect

Safety Rules and Practices

Factors that Create Risk as well as those that Help Keep Children Safe

How to Handle a Child’s Disclosure of Abuse

http://www.speakupbesafe.org/parents.html

For Parents | Childhelp Speak Up Be Safe.

Top 10 Parenting Bloggers on Twitter

Posted on February 16, 2012 by llpitlwp

Top 10 Parenting Bloggers on Twitter | MyMediaInfo Blog.

Here is a list that I came across in my internet ‘travels’ this week. I found it so very interesting. These are bloggers who on the top of their mark. They are accomplished writers and give other parenting bloggers like myself a bar to measure themselves by.

I cannot lie…I would love to be on this list…I would even be happy if I were in the top 100 Parenting Bloggers on Twitter, if there is such a list.

For me:

Blogging is a passion…it is away of sharing with others, which is what I have done professionally for my entire career as a maternal child nurse and clinical social worker.
Blogging allows me to reach out farther than I ever imagined possible in my lifetime.
Blogging is an opportunity to share the knowledge that I have gathered over a long career of helping others.
Blogging is my way of thanking those who generously helped me along the way in nursing and social work, especially those who shared their professional knowledge freely so I could be better at what I do.

I am ever grateful for this wonderful opportunity and grateful for my followers and those that click on the ‘LIKE’ icon and those that comment.

Maybe someday I will have a ranking among those parenting bloggers that are listed above…I will keep on trying.

In that effort, please join me on Facebook (Parenting in the Loop) and Twitter (@lorettelavine) if you are so inclined …I will try not to disappoint you.

Thank you all and please let me know what you want to read about.

Week in Review for Parenting in the Loop

Posted on February 14, 2012 by llpitlwp

Links of the week:

http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/02132012why-the-french-dont-need-parenting-books/

Druckerman can talk all she wants about the Pause, and Le cadre (the frame), and the strict adherence to meal times, but the main difference between French and American mothers is culture.

It’s not that French moms are doing everything right, but that they believe they are.

French parenting

via Why Sleep Matters to Babies and Parents | Science of Mom.

Yes, sleep deprivation is a normal part of parenting. But when babies and parents suffer from chronic sleep deprivation, we need to be seriously concerned. Babies need sleep to support healthy development. Parents need sleep to maintain sanity. Sleep is a universal human need.

via Affluent Foreign-Born Parents in N.Y. Prefer Public Schools – NYTimes.com.

Miriam and Christian Rengier, a German couple moving to New York, visited some private elementary schools in Manhattan last spring in search of a place for their son. They immediately noticed the absence of ethnic diversity, and the chauffeurs ferrying children to the door.

Happy Friday…Have a great weekend!

Preteen Vaccine Week

Posted on February 14, 2012 by llpitlwp

California Department of Public Health Celebrates Preteen Vaccination Week!

February 12-18, 2012!

The goal of 2012’s Preteen Vaccine Week campaign is raise awareness about California’s new Tdap requirement for incoming 7thgrade students, immunization recommendations for 11-and 12-year-olds, and promote the preteen doctor visit through multiple avenues such as schools, providers, and the media.ACIP currently recommends that 11- and 12-year-olds receive these vaccines:Tdap tetanus, diphtheria, whooping cough:

For the 2012-13 school year and beyond, all students entering 7th grade will need proof of a

Tdap booster shot before starting school

Meningococcal

Annual flu vaccine

HPV human papillomavirus 3-shot series

A total of 2 vaccines against chickenpox varicella

via Preteen Vaccine Week.

Vaccinations are a hot topic…many parents are choosing not to vaccinate their children for various concerns that are legitimate at least in their views at the time.

Children depend on adults, mostly their parents, to make decisions for them with regard to their health and well-being.
Vaccinations can and do prevent children from contracting many potentially fatal diseases.

Since the 50’s when polio was essentially eradicated with the then controversial Salk vaccine, parents have been very vocal and anxious about vaccines given to their kids. In recent years, fears of a connection with the development of autism have fueled the vaccination controversy. Now, the news that a vaccine for the sexually transmitted HPV virus is recommended for young teens has stimulated another fear that this vaccination will in fact increase the numbers of teens engaging in sexual intercourse.

What ever side of this controversy you are on when it comes time for your kids to be vaccinated remember, they are innocent and are counting on you to protect them from harm.

If you feel that vaccinations should not be given to your child, for goodness sake, do all your homework and make sure you are totally aware of the consequences of some of the diseases that your child will be at risk for acquiring. Weigh the pros and cons, make sure that the risks are worth taking.

I am not a risk taker and I would not put my child at risk for these preventable childhood diseases…as a medical professional, I would do my homework and probably spread the recommended vaccinations out over a longer period of time. With my current knowledge, I would choose to have my child immunized.

My personal feeling is this, by not vaccinating my child against potentially fatal childhood diseases I may actually be neglecting my duties as a parent and my child could die because of my neglect…but that is just my opinion.

Week in Review…

Posted on February 10, 2012 by llpitlwp

Links of the week…

Helicopter Parents Hover In The Workplace : NPR

What would you do to help your child land a job…how far would you go? Some parents go to the job interview with their kids. What do you think about helicopter parents hovering in the workplace with their kids?

New LEGO girls line is offensive, some say – latimes.com

LEGO came out with a new line of toys aimed specifically at girls…do you have any objections to LEGOs no longer being gender neutral or don’t you care one way or the other?

10 Stress Busting Strategies for Parents

I figured this one was a sure bet…young or old we can all use stress busters now and then.

HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND!

Parenting in the Loop

Nightmares and Pre-schoolers

Posted on February 8, 2012 by llpitlwp

NOTEWORTHY WEDNESDAY!

Nightmares…

Recently we have been having problems with our resident pre-schooler…she is having nightmares, which are disturbing for her and for us. She has been an incredibly good sleeper since around 2 months old but now is having difficulty going back to sleep after waking from a nightmare in the middle of the night.

Being a good grandma and blogger…I did some research that I would like to share about children and nightmares.

Children around three years old begin to have fears …nightmares are sometimes the results of these fears and anxiety.Usually these ‘bad’ dreams wake them up during the last half of the night and sometimes it is difficult for them to return to a peaceful sleep.

“The child may dream about danger or a scary situation. Nightmares may involve disturbing themes, images, or figures such as monsters, ghosts, animals, or bad people. Loss of control and fear of injury are common themes”

Bedtime routines that are quieting without the stimulation of a scary story or television show are helpful to ward off scary dreams.

Reassurance is important…this is a time when a parent will wake with a crying child and will want to go and console him/her and listen to his/her story. Sometimes your child will want to frantically tell you about the nightmare in vivid detail but if they don’t …no need to press them.

In the morning they may want to talk again about their dream and this is a time when you can perhaps create a different ending for the story one that is not so scary…this may help ward off a recurrent dream theme.

Coping strategies can include checking around the child’s room with him /her so they know there is nothing lurking under their beds…monsters are real at this point in their young imaginations.

There are also things that you can do to help your child. Especially with younger children, a security object such as a favorite stuffed animal or a blanket can help a child feel relaxed and safe in bed. Other things that can help are leaving a low nightlight on in your child’s bedroom and teaching him relaxation techniques. Have your child imagine a relaxing scene, such as a being on the beach or watching a sunset, will help him relax after a scary dream. Children can also use their imagination to help them settle down and fall back to sleep. Have your child imagine a different ending to the nightmare, hang a dream catcher over your child’s bed which helps catch the “bad dreams,” or have your child draw pictures of his nightmare that he crumples up and throws away.

Our little one has a magic wand that helps to ward off ‘bad dreams’…some nights it works better than others…

Nightmares are real and scary…your presence and a big hug is above all the best reassurance for your little one that all is well especially in the middle of the night!

http://www.babycenter.com/0_nightmares-why-they-happen-and-what-to-do-about-them_67319.bc

http://children.webmd.com/guide/nightmares

http://www.sleepfoundation.org/article/ask-the-expert/children-and-bedtime-fears-and-nightmares

Castor Oil In Labor: Yuk!

Posted on February 7, 2012 by llpitlwp

Desperate times …desperate measures…this is how I describe the use of castor oil in labor.

Back in the day, when a mom came to L & D in early labor more likely than not she was given an enema “high, hot and hellavu lot” was the non-medical term we used for this procedure. SSEs (soap suds enemas) were used to empty the bowel and stimulate labor. An added benefit was that mom did not have to worry about “pooping” during delivery.

Castor oil may or may not work…it is unpleasant tasting, the results of taking it can cause cramping and diarrhea, not a comfortable experience, especially at 40+ weeks pregnant.

Moms …check with your physician or midwife for tips on encouraging labor before resorting to this nasty choice.