Amelia Rivera …Transplant “Rejection”

Amelia’s Rivera’s story is a tragic one and one that is sadly not that uncommon.

The medically fragile and vulnerable are all at risk when it comes to who gets a transplant and who does not. There are guidelines and ethics involved in medical decisions and sometimes it does not seem fair when decisions like the recent one at CHOP are made based on mental disability.

On the surface, this decision seems unfair and the conversation with the parents seems cold and unprofessional.

From the distraught parents’ point of view the doctors, nurses and social workers were unfeeling and certainly not the professionals that that these parents had put their faith in, to save their daughter.

As a social worker and nurse I have had some serious heart rendering discussions with families. Experience has taught me to listen very carefully to patients and families…they want to be heard and understood. I try to support them to my best ability and I am their advocate while also working within the hospital’s policies and procedures and decision making. This is sometimes extremely difficult.

In this case…if Amelia’s parents want to continue to pursue a transplant for her…it would be my responsibility to encourage them to seek out another pediatric center that performs transplants…I would then explain to them that acceptance of a donor is not automatic and a pediatric donor is more complicated than an adult donor.

Amelia’s parents needed to experience empathy from the transplant team at CHOP…they needed to feel that their feelings were respected and understood and they need to be treated like the concerned and loving parents that they are.

The transplant team at CHOP should disclose how decisions like this are made…this is certainly not the first decision of this kind at a transplant center and it will not be the last. These types of decisions are not made lightly by checking a box on a sheet of paper…they are agonized over by the medical staff and guided by medical ethics.

The truth today is that some lives are considered more valuable than others…we see this with the abortion issue and life sustaining treatments for the fragile elderly to name only two vulnerable patient populations.

My heart goes out to Amelia’s parents and family…they are trying to save her life and to them her life is valuable…she is their precious child.

Unfortunately, transplant decisions are not made on feelings and love…they are made on facts and medical ethics…

The delivery of these decisions are not easy…in this case it seems that those involved did not empathically deliver bad news to these loving parents …they did not respect the fact that Amelia’s parents were hoping for a life sustaining procedure for their little girl…which was not going to happen at CHOP.

Related article:

Amelia Rivera and medical morality – Guest Voices – The Washington Post.

The Condom Broke!

NOTEWORTHY WEDNESDAY!

When I worked as a nurse in a busy NYC Ob-Gyn practice “back in the day” women would call asking for the “morning after pill” if the condom broke…sex was fearless for the most part in the 70’s.
It was before too much was actually know about HIV and AIDS.
Herpes was a concern but mostly on talk shows…I never heard a mention of syphilis except when people were being tested prior to getting married, rarely was there a mention of gonorrhea, There was rarely a concern about hepatitis and never a mention of HPV. Chlamydia was for the most part unheard of.
Life did seem much more simple then but was it really simple?
No…HPV was present but we did not know all we now know and of course there was no vaccine being offered to young girls who were sexually active…pregnancy was preventable by taking “the pill” and there was no vaccine for hepatitis.
Fast Forward…
Today…if the condom breaks or if you choose not to use one you could be exposing yourself to many STD’s (sexually transmitted diseases). Some can cause complications leading to infertility, or cancer and in the case of AIDS death.
Sex education is a necessity…how early?
Well, as parents that seems to be a topic up for discussion along with who should provide sex education to our kids. Not providing sex education to me is a form of child neglect…our kids need to know how to take care of themselves and others.
The HPV vaccine is now available and parents should seriously consider this vaccine for their teenagers. But that discussion is being saved for another post. It seems parents are concerned that getting the HPV vaccine gives the go ahead to having sex.
Parents should figure out sooner than later how to discuss safe sex with their kids so that hopefully they will not have to be discussing something much more serious with them…
If the  condom does break… here are the tests and a nice discussion from BlogHer
  • Gonorrhea & Chlamydia– Can be tested for by a urine test or on certain types of Pap Smears
  • Herpes – Ask for a Type Specific Blood Test
  • HPV – Can be tested during a Pap Smear
  • Syphilis & HIV – A Blood Test
  • Hepatitis B & Hepatitis C – A Blood Test

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/morning-after-pill/MY01190

Mental Health Awareness Week…

Mental Health Awareness Week
Depression, anxiety and panic attacks are NOT a sign of weakness. They are signs of having tried to remain strong for way too long. Would you post this on your wall, at least for one day? It’s Mental Health Awareness week. Did you know that 1 in each 3 of us will go through this at some point in our lives? Share the support! Let those who struggle know they’re not alone, they… are loved.
As a clinical social worker and registered nurse I consider mental health as part of overall health. Personally, I have had bouts with anxiety and panic attacks as a young adult and anxiety rears its ugly head every now and then. Mindfulness and yoga has been part of my lifestyle for a very long time and has seriously helped me in times of high anxiety.
Anxiety is worry about the future and depression is related usually to past events none of which we have too much control over.
If you are a parent or you have kids that experience depression, anxiety and or panic attacks…know that there is help available. Please find a mental health professional that you like and respect to help you. You can always start with the NASW (National Association of Social Work)…they will help you find professional assistance.
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Why Caucasian Dads are Superior…REVISITED…

Noteworthy Wednesday!

This is my most read post in 2011…since “Tiger Mom” is now published in paperback and it is the one year anniversary of the commotion that it set off I am reposting this for you perusal.

Enjoy.

Why Caucasian fathers are superior.

“So it should come as no surprise that I am better at parenting than most humans (and all animals, except bison and unicorns). The reason? I’m a Caucasian male.

The Caucasian culture does not accept mediocrity. You name it, we excel at it. Whether it’s playing hockey, or watching hockey, or dancing (the polka), or finishing last in 100-metre races, or suppressing the civil rights of minorities, Caucasian males do it best. We also raise the brightest children.”

Seriously, this is such an amusing piece that responds to the “Tiger Mom”  uproar. I thought we had read just about everything but apparently not so.

Given all the commotion that Tiger Mom has generated, I think that it is time to consider some balance. Parenting is something that is too important to actually laugh about.

It seems there are as many beliefs about the right way to parent as there are parents. It is my belief that anything taken to extremes is never really a good thing. There are exceptions to almost any “rule”. To be excessively rigid in your parenting style could pass this rigidity on to your child or create the opposite stance on your child’s part. Neither of these responses is what I personally would want.

There are many aspects of attachment parenting that I like and I probably was an attached parent and am an attached grandparent although I did not “co-sleep” nor did I breast feed.

My personal parenting guidelines came from Erik Erikson’s stages of development. I tried to parent so that my children successfully completed Erikson’s  stages of development.

I also tried to model behavior for my children. They experienced how important it was for both their grandmothers to die having completed their final stage of life at age 89. They both died with integrity and dignity.

Parenting never really ends.

For me, it is about teaching your children how to have love and empathy and be able to develop their own skills to live each stage of life.

With that said please read this “caucasian father’s” editorial reaction to “Tiger Mom” and laugh if you like…it is pretty humorous!

NYE 2011

As the year comes to an end…

There are so many things to be grateful for…

And many things to look forward to in 2012…

Thank you all for reading parenting in the loop’s blog…

And a special thank-you to those who subscribed, commented, and followed Parenting in the Loop on Facebook.

I hope that you continue to join me in 2012 on my blogging journey.

I wish you all a very Happy and Healthy New Year!

Breastfeeding at Target…is the jury still out on this one?

If you are wondering like I was yesterday if the “Nurse-In” at Target was successful…here is the answer.

No apology from Target and that is exactly what I expected…if you apologize it is an admission of “wrong doing” isn’t it?

Large corporations are not in the habit of admitting wrong doing…ever!

I wonder if moms are satisfied with Target’s statement … was there enough media coverage on 12/28 ,,, personally, I don’t think so.

If the attitude towards breastfeeding anytime, anyplace is to change…there should be some prominent media coverage to bring this issue to the forefront. Let’s face it, most of us are not breastfeeding so this affects only a small segment of the population. In reality however, it affects the health and well-being of children…so the affects are extremely far reaching.

Should this not be of more concern to the public at large? Any opinions out there?

What needs to be done?

Did the Target nurse- in get results? | BabyCenter.

TODAY: Breastfeed at Target …

NOTEWORTHY WEDNESDAY!

Breastfeeding is a natural way to feed babies…

it is a healthy way to feed babies…

for some moms it is an easy transition after delivery and for other moms it is difficult and takes time and patience to get into a rhythm with their babies.

Whatever the case…moms should be encouraged to breast feed and be able to breast feed anywhere.

That apparently was not the experience of a Texas mom who was “harassed” by Target employees when she chose to breast feed in an aisle at a Target store. She was asked to go to a fitting room to breast feed.

Now, my personal choice would not be to sit down in an aisle at Target to breastfeed but a fitting room would not necessarily have been my choice either. Perhaps, a table in their food court would have been more my style.

Now…today, moms have organized through Facebook and are scheduled to “nurse-in” at selected Targets this morning.

What will be the outcome of such a protest?

I am sure there will be some who are “appalled” that moms would do such a thing.

It is time to support breastfeeding moms…the research is in and the American Academy of Pediatrics has made their statements.

Even if you do not support a “nurse-in” it is time to give the thumbs up to those moms who do and it is time to let Target and others like them know that customer service is more than a counter in the front of the store.

Shopping with Baby

Some tips are really good year round for shopping with baby…so if you don’t have time to read anything new today….save it for after the holidays.

Enjoy…

It’s that time of year. You know, the time when you’re forced okay, maybe willing to show your love for friends and family by spending some cold-hard-cash on them. But something is different this time. Way different. You have a newborn. So, how do you manage shopping for the holidays with baby? We break it down so you won’t by venue with tips to prevent you and baby from turning into a Tiny Tears doll. After all, ‘tis the season to be jolly.

via Holiday Shopping with Baby – New Parent – Newborn Basics – TheBump.com.