ParentingintheLoop’s Weekend

Posted on October 2, 2015 by llpitlwp

Weekend Reading:

A Fall weekend can be so busy for many of us. If you get a chance read one, two or all of the articles below.

Postpartum Depression

When you have a baby the last thing anyone wants to talk about is depression. But in the room alongside your beautiful, perfect baby can be the elephant, postpartum depression. There are so many reasons this can occur and moms have little control over if and when postpartum depression rears its ugly head.

Thank goodness for women, who now talk openly about their experiences with PPD. Even celebrities, such as Brooke Shields and now Hayden Panettiere have suffered and spoken about PPD in order to help other women realize they are not alone in this journey.

Let’s keep the discussion going and for anyone who needs support or information please visit Postpartum Progress. Please also be aware of anyone who may be suffering right in front of your eyes.

Women are so hard on themselves: we set incredibly high standards for ourselves and then beat ourselves up if life doesn’t turn out that way. While the official figures show 10 to 15% of all women will suffer from postpartum depression, that percentage only represents those who have reported suffering. Imagine what the real figure might be.According to Postpartum Progress, more women will suffer from postpartum depression and related illnesses this year than the combined number of new cases for men and women of tuberculosis, leukemia, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease, and epilepsy.

Source: Hayden Panettiere Opens Up About Her Struggle with Postpartum Depression

No Judgment Just Understanding

Recently, I joined the Sisterhood of Motherhood campaign from Similac. I am proud to have been part of an effort to end the mommy wars and encourage moms to STOP judging each other.

Today, I read this story about a mom who did just that. She did not judge, she simply pitched in to help a mom who was traveling on a flight with a screaming baby. Thank-you to Nyfesha Miller for being a “sister” to another mom.

Maybe this weekend you can do something simple when you see a mom struggling. Even just holding a door open can help.

When Nyfesha Miller noticed a stressed-out mama and her crying baby on her flight, she could have done what many usually do: roll her eyes, let out a sigh, and continue flipping through SkyMall. But instead, Miller decided to help — and she’s now being praised by thousands for her actions.

Source: Stranger Comes to Mom’s Rescue on Flight, Restores Our Faith in Humanity | Babble

Pregnancy can be an emotional time in a mom-to-be life, it is expected with all the hormonal changes that go hand in hand as a baby develops in utero. These emotions don’t always disappear after the baby is born. Postpartum is also time of huge emotional changes as well. These emotions can flip a mom into postpartum depression but for many women they find themselves crying over things that in the past were no big deal.

This post comes from a mom who labels herself as a postpartum crier.

I didn’t always buy into the clichés about women being emotional roller coasters due to pregnancy or postpartum hormones. After all, I was still myself during my pregnancies, albeit with a shorter temper and a fuzzier memory. Really, I thought the stereotype was one more way for people to joke about a woman’s mental state without exploring the real reason for her hurt feelings or emotional outburst. A pregnant woman’s PMS, if you will.But after my second child was born, I couldn’t deny that I had become what I previously thought was merely a sitcom-created mothering myth: a postpartum crier.

Source: 26 Reasons I’ve Cried Since Having a Baby Scary Mommy

A Weekend is a great time to catch up on so many things. At times we flood ourselves with so many “to dos” that we lose touch with ourselves and those closest to us.

I hope you catch up with your family on this Fall Weekend. Spend a little time together, being grateful for the small things in your life.

See you next week!

End the Mommy Wars Please!

Posted on September 9, 2015 by llpitlwp

Mommy Wars…No More!

This is a sponsored post. I am a Partner in the Sisterhood of Motherhood from Similac. Thanks for supporting Parenting in the Loop.

I love social media and good discussions but when it turns to a “war” of words over how moms are raising their children I want to scream!

Instead of shunning the Mommy Wars I am trying to be part of the solution and #EndMommyWars by participating as a proud partner in Similac’s Sisterhood of Motherhood.

What about you all?
Are you sick of moms criticizing each other like I am?
What experiences have you had with critical moms while trying to raise your kids?

If you like you can share your Mommy Wars Story at Similac on the Similac Facebook page via a short selfie video.

Sharing and helping to let other moms know that they are not alone in their moments of happiness and struggle is to me one of the greatest advantages of social media.

So lets help each other out and share our stories! Let’s end the mommy wars with this hashtag . #EndMommyWars!

“Share your mommy war story on the Similac Facebook page using #EndMommyWars.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cy-xB-hHHGo&feature=em-upload_owner

Weekend Reading from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on August 14, 2015 by llpitlwp

Weekend Reading from ParentingintheLoop!

Welcome to the Friday.

Here in Chicago it is the weekend of the Air and Water Show, which is spectacular. It seems the weather is going to cooperate and the Blue Angels will be in the air.

I am a partner in Similac’s #SisterhoodofMotherhood. It is an initiative that is near and dear to me even as a grandmother. I have included my post and my friend Annie Stowe’s post.

Please help to end the Mommy Wars!

How can we stop the “mommy wars”? Realize that we are all in this together. Support initiatives like the Sisterhood of Motherhood Visit the Sisterhood of Motherhood Facebook page and share what you will do to help end the “mommy wars”. Unite, Nourish and Support all moms. Make #SisterhoodUnite your motto.

Source: Mothers all in this Together #SisterhoodUnite

Sometimes it’s just a look. Sometimes it’s words. Sometimes it’s gossip. No matter what it is or who is taking the brunt of the joke or the comment, it hurts. We seem to be victims of it, yet we still seem to do it ourselves over and over again. We judge. We criticize. We give the looks.

Source: Motherhood: Let’s Stop Judging | Stowed Stuff

Another initiative in August is #Blogust. It helps to provide Vaccines to children in underprivileged parts of the world. Heather Spohr shares her heart on her blog and helps this wonderful cause

I try to use my heartbreak to help others. Sometimes that means channeling my hurt into fundraising, sometimes it means I’m helping to raise awareness, and other times it’s to help make people feel less alone. Sometimes, the person who feels less alone is me. It’s my hope that as I navigate this tricky life, I can help those who follow along behind me feel a little bit more normal.

The Spohrs are Multiplying

Summer should afford us some time to relax and rest from the hectic pace that we keep during other times of the year especially during holiday season. As the warm weather weekend season comes quietly to a close, I welcome some schedule to my days but not the chaos that sometimes follows on its heels. The cool crisp air will be here all too quickly.

So….

as August wanes so does the summer. So lets enjoy this lazy summer weekend!

Mothers all in this Together #SisterhoodUnite

Posted on August 8, 2015 by llpitlwp

Mothers, all in this together!

Go to the Similac Facebook page and share the one thing you will do to help end the mommy wars.

This post is a sponsored by Similac. Thank you for supporting Parenting in the Loop

I am so proud to be selected to participate as a Partner in Similac’s

“The Sisterhood of Motherhood”.

Moms and dads should make room for #SisterhoodUnite in their parenting lives. Similac’s video unites us all together as parents trying our best to nourish and support our babies.

Parenting is the most difficult work we will ever engage in. It can also be the effort for which we experience the most judgement and negative criticism. This is sad!

So Let’s Change This!

Personally, I don’t remember too much criticism of my parenting skills as a young mom. What I do recall was many good intentioned suggestions of my aunt regarding a crying hungry newborn. She was adamant about offering a 3 week old rice cereal to help with sleeping through the night. Of course it did not help and it was clearly much more trouble than it was worth. It was a kind effort of mothers helping a new mother but it could have unglued me if I had let it. At the time I did not have a strong supportive

Sisterhood of Motherhood.

However, my husband and I were aware of the criticism of other parents, who questioned why we would leave a town when our children were in high school and junior high, such a crucial time during adolescence.

The criticism that affected me most was as the mom of teenagers. We lived in a small village where everyone had something to say about other parents and their kids.

We were a three generation household. My elderly mom lived with us. It was clear we needed a new house with a first floor bedroom and bath to accommodate her needs. Instead of staying in our community we moved 45 minutes away and our girls had to change schools. They were in high school and 8th grade, a time that it is difficult for major changes like moving out of your town. They were apprehensive about moving but remained happy albeit anxious to move to their new house and neighborhood.

As was expected there were adjustments and we made them somewhat seamlessly. The girls kept in touch with their friends from their old house and still keep in touch to this day.

To this day I wonder what would have been different if we had let them remain in their respective schools until graduation and had not moved. Would they have gone to different colleges. What would life had been like… sort of a “Back to the Future” runs through my mind every now and then. I also wonder if I would have remained in touch with my friends from my “old” neighborhood instead of feeling the brunt of criticism.

It feels horrible to be judged by other moms and dads but it happens all the time. It is also contagious and I catch myself being judgmental at times too.

How can we stop the “mommy wars”?

Realize that we are all in this together.
Support initiatives like the Sisterhood of Motherhood
Visit the Sisterhood of Motherhood Facebook page and share what you will do to help end the “mommy wars”.
Unite, Nourish and Support all moms.
Make #SisterhoodUnite your motto.

Personally, I am going to reach out with a smile and something positive to moms, grandma’s and dads whom I meet casually each day while doing my routines like grocery shopping and running errands. There are many times when I see a mom struggling even to get a stroller through a doorway at the mall and no one helps her. I’m not sure why this happens but I am going to be more aware and step in to help if I can.

So Mothers and Grandmothers make your hashtag #SisterhoodUnite and come together in the Sisterhood of Motherhood!

Also please join me in welcoming the Duff sisters, Hilary and Haylie to the Sisterhood of Motherhood Partnership. Celebrities experience so much scrutiny when it comes to parenting their children. No one is immune!

This post was sponsored by Similac but all thoughts and opinions are my own.

Don’t forget head on over to Sisterhood of Motherhood Facebook and share what you are going to do to end the mommy wars!

Weekend Reading from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on July 24, 2015 by llpitlwp

Weekend Reading

Summer weekend weather has finally dried and warmed up. For us it will be some fun and some travel back to Chicago. We had a relaxing week at the seashore in Rhode Island. Some much needed sun catching was done and castle in the sand building was accomplished along with our granddaughter and some of her little friends that she has made in the years that she has been visiting the shore with us.

Screen time for our kids and grandkids is always a topic that you can find argued on parenting sites. Minecraft is really popular with kids and has been for awhile. I don’t really understand it but it is an app on my phone and my granddaughter enjoys it. We even have a book that talks about strategies and how the app works which she has devoured.

I often wonder if these “games” provide a child anything besides an addiction to the screen of a tablet or phone. Here is an article which answers some of my questions. I think you might enjoy it. It will take five minutes of your weekend to read it.

In fact, the Journal of Adolescent Research published a study comparing children that played video games to those that didn’t. “Video game players, regardless of gender, reported higher levels of family closeness, activity involvement, attachment to school and positive mental health,” Paul Adachi and Teena Willoughby, the authors of the study, concluded. “Video game players also had less risky friendship networks and a more favorable self-concept.”

Source: How Minecraft Teaches Kids Real-World Skills | 2machines

This week Parenting in the Loop posted something sponsored by Similac and the Sisterhood of Motherhood. As a mom and grandma myself, I try to support other moms and grandmothers. It is not easy parenting and grandparenting children and grandchildren.

Lets all unite to nourish, and support other moms!

I am so proud to be selected to participate as a Brand Ambassador in Similac’s “The Sisterhood of Motherhood”.

As a young mom I had expectations of what a mom should be which set my path each day as I struggled to take care of my two children 23 months apart in age. Super imposed upon my high mom standards for myself were also my desire to be the “good wife” as well. My plate was more than full. At times difficult to digest all I had bitten off.

Can Screens help kids? Apparently they can as talked about by this family of a child with autism.

Selective screen time can be good.

Let’s hear about what you and your kids watch.

We’ve spent thousands of dollars on therapies, countless hours at trial-and-error play dates. In spite of all that, I know just where the credit lies for my high-functioning autistic son’s new-found ability to connect with others: Daniel Tiger. “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood,” from PBS, channels the wise, kind and nourishing lessons of Mister Rogers through Daniel Tiger, an ultra-relatable preschooler who dons a red cardigan and has memorable ditties for handling things like disappointment, frustration, anger or fear of the unknown. He is also big on skills like turn-taking, cooperation, problem-solving and empathy.

Source: Daniel Tiger Becomes a Boy With Autism’s Guide to Social Life – The New York Times

Have a wonderful weekend!

Motherhood we are all in this Together.

Posted on July 20, 2015 by llpitlwp

SISTERHOOD OF MOTHERHOOD

This post is a sponsored by Similac.

Thank you for supporting Parenting in the Loop

#UniteMonday

I am so proud to be selected to participate as a Brand Ambassador in Similac’s “The Sisterhood of Motherhood”.

As a young mom I had expectations of what a mom should be which set my path each day as I struggled to take care of my two children 23 months apart in age. Super imposed upon my high mom standards for myself were also my desire to be the “good wife” as well. My plate was more than full. At times difficult to digest all I had bitten off.

I was also a maternal.child, pediatric nurse so I knew and had personally witnessed what could happen if you relaxed your standards especially your safety ones. That alone created in me some serious anxiety which I kept hidden from everyone except my husband.

It was not easy to be a “green” mom. By that I mean, this was all new grass I was trodding upon and I wanted it to grow and flourish in spite of my insecurities and anxieties. Little did I know there were many other moms just like myself and we all suffered from our own self imposed standards. There were no mom bloggers, no mom blogs for that matter there was no internet! However I did watch my favorite stories (soap operas) each afternoon at nap time. The characters were my “friends”, even though I could not talk to them or ask them questions or even comment on their problems. Their lives were of course nothing like my own but it was definitely an escape from the mom and housewife mental institution known as my home at the time.

In the two years following my marriage I delivered two children. They were raised in the 80’s, 90’s. and were born in Miami Florida. It was another world from where I worked in New York City. Even though I had a lot of newborn experience I had no idea what to do when my first born daughter was older than two weeks. I was literally lost thankfully my mother was staying with me and lived close by.

Both my babies were formula fed. The choice was made for me since I was taking Heparin, a drug which helps to prevent blood clots. It was a medication that would cause problems for babies as it passes through breast milk. Although I didn’t like not having a choice I was sort of okay with it because I had seen many moms struggling with breastfeeding and it just scared the living daylights out of me. I had no problem with formula and bottle feeding. For the most part in 1979 and 1981 there really was no judgment passed on my formula feeding decision by any of my mom friends. Actually, I was relieved to bottle feed, since someone else could easily feed my daughter and I could get some much needed rest.

Living in South Florida alongside many retirees created a different set of problems.They were a judgmental bunch. A brief story comes to mind. One afternoon I was taken by surprise when I took my daughters to Lord and Taylor and decided to have lunch. Pushing my double stroller I approached the hostess and asked for a table, her retired old self felt the need to ask me if I was going to breast feed at the table. What a relief came over her face when I said “no”.

I am not sure what she would have done if I had said yes but I am sure I would have been told to go to the ladies lounge to feed my child.

This anecdote seems like an eternity ago, although it is no longer 1980 some of the reactions of other moms and grandmas are not all too different today. Surprisingly some attitudes about where a mom should breast feed have not changed . What has definitely changed though is the fact that more moms are breastfeeding and they themselves have become judgmental about how important breastfeeding is in a newborn’s life. Some moms think you are not being a good mom if you do not breastfeed your child and they don’t refrain from voicing this opinion online, or in person. Actually the internet seems to have become the official boxing ring for these critics.

I am now a grandmother and my ideas of what defines motherhood have become less rigid. They are no longer written in pen they are all written in pencil to be changed at a moment’s notice. There is no room for much judgment of my new relaxed standards when it comes to my grandchildren

Grandparents can sometimes have more fun than parents because they have learned along the way that when it comes to raising a child there are very few things that need to be written in stone. We understand what it means to be a mom from a lens that comes with age. and experience. Thank God for this fact.

One of the best parts of grandmotherhood is being able to enjoy grandchildren with out the pressure from within that comes along with being a new mom. From the inception of my blog I have tried to share and support this generation of moms in the day to day. It is a kind of support that my generation of moms did not have.

I feel so fortunate to be included in Similac’s #Sisterhood of Motherhood initiative.It is an honor to be featured with some today’s moms

It is my hope that on this #UniteMonday moms will recognize the fact that we are all in this together to support, nourish, accept and unite every mom who is raising a child. Grandmothers have an important role here as well. There is a loop of parenting and that loop starts with grandmothers and continues with moms and children. We are forever adding to the parenting loop every time a child is born to a new mom and makes another mom a grandmother.

Please get in the “loop” this #UniteMonday and share your parenting stories in comments and on FB and nourish, support and unite other moms!

Thank you Similac and #UniteMonday for recognizing moms.

This post was sponsored by Similac but all thoughts and opinions are my own.