Category Archives: Behavior

NICU: Then & Now, Children & Intense Emotions

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“Tree of Life”

NICU: Then & Now.

The March of Dimes Facebook page catches up with NICU babies in “Then and Now”. This past week, we celebrated National Prematurity Day…not too many years ago these fragile premature babies would not have survived. Here’s to all those that have made these miracle possible!

Helping children when they bite, hit and push – Genevieve Simperingham.

Biting and hitting can really pose a parenting challenge. There are so many reasons that a child resorts to this unpleasant behavior. For me, the most important way to manage behavior problems is through empathy. Empathy for your child and empathy for the victim of your child’s biting and hitting will guide your responses and help make them appropriate. Take a deep cleansing breath to retrieve your empathy and then respond quickly by removing your child from the situation and making sure the other child is okay. Show your child understanding with a sense of calmness, while he is acting this way… and then help him to express his anger and frustration in a more acceptable manner. Gradually, he will find other ways to express his frustrations and anger that do not involve lashing out and biting.

I Have a Daughter With Intense Emotions | Peaceful Parents, Confident Kids.

Keeping with the theme of children and their emotions…here is another post about how to “deal’ with children, who have intense feelings. It is a personal story, to which many of us can relate. Again, “empathy” plays a key role, I hope you visit this story…it is a sweet and endearing one.

Once again…have a wonderful weekend.

 

Toddler’s Tantrums, Creative Children, Smarter than Adults

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Parenting in the Loop Facebook

Janet Lansbury offers many insights into how to take care of your babies and children. She    is a follower of Magda Gerber and her RIE philosophy.

Here are some of my favorite posts from Janet, that recently came across my feed. I hope you enjoy them and realize that as a parent and grandparent you have an awesome responsibility and a wonderful one as you involve yourself in caring for your babies.

“Take the mobile off the bed, take care of their needs, and leave them alone.” This odd sentence was my introduction to Magda Gerberand the child care philosophy that would become my passion. I had given birth a few months before reading this quotation, the only one by Gerber, in an article in L.A. Parent magazine about raising a creative child.

via Magda Gerber and the Creative Child | Janet Lansbury.

Babies and children are always fascinating and sometimes frustrating to me. As a former maternal child nurse, I feel privileged to have been one of the first people to have held some newborns. I always felt that the birth of another little being was a blessing and a miracle. I think I always knew that something special had just happened when a baby was delivered.

GENERATIONS of psychologists and philosophers have believed that babies and young children were basically defective adults — irrational, egocentric and unable to think logically. The philosopher John Locke saw a baby’s mind as a blank slate, and the psychologist William James thought they lived in a “blooming, buzzing confusion.” Even today, a cursory look at babies and young children leads many to conclude that there is not much going on.

New studies, however, demonstrate that babies and very young children know, observe, explore, imagine and learn more than we would ever have thought possible. In some ways, they are smarter than adults.

via Op-Ed Contributor – Your Baby Is Smarter Than You Think – NYTimes.com.

 

Temper tantrums can be very perplexing to parents. This anecdote might help explain how RIE understands the mechanisms of toddler tantrums.

Young children are self-healing geniuses, have you noticed? Sometimes their tantrums are an expression of immediate discomforts like fatigue or hunger. Other times, however, they have a backlog of internalized feelings and will seem to deliberately and (seemingly) unreasonably push our limits so that we will hold steady and resist, which then opens up the escape valve they need to release these emotions. But this process can only work for them when we are able to set and hold limits and bravely accept their feelings.

via The Healing Power of a Toddler’s Tantrum | Janet Lansbury.

Breast-feeding is not always best available option – Positive Discipline- What is it? – Baby Sleep, What Do You Really Know? Weekend Reading!

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Are you afraid to choose not to breast feed because of the backlash of comments that you anticipate from your relatives and friends?

Don’t you just want them to understand what you already know about you and your baby?

Maybe you should write down your story and hand copies to anyone who questions why you are not breastfeeding and then just maybe they will “shut up” and mind their own business!

 

BREAST-FEEDING is not always best.

These are fighting words if you are a mother who has delivered a baby at most hospitals throughout the Puget Sound. If you are the postpartum mother who dares to utter that statement, you will be the one fighting with nurses, doctors, lactation consultants and anyone on the street who sees you bottle feeding.

 

 

Do you use time-outs as discipline the way “The Nanny” does on her television series?

There actually is another approach….”Positive Discipline” and it just might work better with your child or children. Here is a link to someone who specializes in this approach…

I went on Amazon and bought all the top books on baby sleep and development. I read through them all, as well as several blogs and sleep websites. I gathered lots of advice.

If you are confused about Baby Sleep and how to help you and your baby get enough rest, you will find out why when you read this funny post from a mom who shares your confusion.

Don’t fret, you are not alone!

I hope these suggested readings help with three of the most discussed topics of childrearing…. Feeding…Discipline…Sleep.

Have a great weekend!

 

Do you know how to stop your child’s tantrum?

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Tantrum

If you understand your child’s brain it just may help you deal with your child’s tantrums.

Dr. Siegel is a renowned physician, who has done much research on the brain. In this video he shares what is going on in a child’s brain when he is having a tantrum. By understanding the brain and tantrums it just might help a parent or grandparent deal with their own reaction to a temper tantrum.

How you react to the child who is having a tantrum may actually lengthen or shorten the duration of the “meltdown”

Now what parent would not want to shorten a tantrum?

Watch this video to learn how!

http://www.kidsinthehouse.com/video/how-stop-tantrums-understanding-brain

via How to stop tantrums by understanding the brain | KidsInTheHouse.com.

What do you know about Kids and Depression?

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One of today’s headlines included news that depressed kids are at risk for heart disease later in life. As a healthcare professional this is not really new to me but the fact that a study found this correlation is meaningful.

 

The findings suggest that the consequences of childhood depression reach beyond the emotional realm and can lead to long-term physical health problems. This makes early intervention — both to treat the depression and to encourage healthy habits, possibly preventing future heart problems — even more important.

An estimated 2 percent of school-aged children, those between 6 and 12 years old, appear to have a major depression at any given time. That widely cited statistic comes from a study published in 2000 in American Family Physician, the peer-reviewed journal of the American Academy of Family Physicians.

“I think the clinical implication of this finding is that if we know a child is experiencing depression, we can pay special, close attention to cardiovascular risk factors and try to deal with those things as early as possible,” Carney said in an interview, “and then be able to prevent the onset of heart disease over time.”

via Depressed Kids Risk Heart Disease Later – Heart Health Center – Everyday Health.

This is an important finding for the future health of our children and of course it is important for their current health.

If your child exhibits signs and symptoms of depression it is crucial that you are able to recognize them and then speak to your physician about what you are seeing.

No one wants to think that their own child or grandchild could actually be “depressed” at a young age but they can. Closing your eyes to it will not make depression go away it might even make it worse.

Signs and symptoms of depression in children include:

Irritability or anger.

Continuous feelings of sadness and hopelessness.

Social withdrawal.

Increased sensitivity to rejection.

Changes in appetite — either increased or decreased.

Changes in sleep — sleeplessness or excessive sleep.

Vocal outbursts or crying.

Difficulty concentrating.

Fatigue and low energy.

Physical complaints (such as stomachaches, headaches) that don’t respond to treatment.

Reduced ability to function during events and activities at home or with friends, in school, extracurricular activities, and in other hobbies or interests.

Feelings of worthlessness or guilt.

Impaired thinking or concentration.

Thoughts of death or suicide

via Depression in Children: Symptoms and Common Types of Child Depression.

Although I have read that depression is not common in children younger than 12 years of age, as a clinician I have seen some very troubling depressive behavior in younger children.

Depression is treatable, but only if you seek help for it.

So, if you have questions about yourself or your child please check with your doctor or go to the nearest emergency room.

Troubling Toddler Behavior, Kids Snacks, Pizza Nite…Weekend Reading

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Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Toddler behavior can be very challenging. I love Janet Lansbury’s take on what to do and how to deal with this developmental stage. Although following her advice may not be easy to follow,
it certainly sounds worth it in the long term.

What do you think…how do you deal with problem toddler behavior?

We’re big. They’re tiny. They’re just learning our rules and expectations for appropriate behavior. They have a developmental need to express their will, and they have very little (if any) impulse control. With these complicated, powerful dynamics in play, why would we take our toddler’s hitting, biting, resistance or refusal to cooperate personally?

Kids all need snacks and it is sometimes hard to pick nutritious ones in this on-the-go environment we live in.

Yogurt is a wonderful, tasty choice for snacks and lunch box treats…I freeze the yogurt squeezes and they are perfect at lunchtime after thawing.

What are some of your secrets snacks for your kids and grandkids?

How to Manage On-The-Go Snacking for Kids

Posted by Elizabeth • March 14th, 2013

Saying that Jill Castle, MS, RD, LDN knows a thing or two about childhood nutrition would be quite the understatement. Jill is a pediatric nutrition expert, and in her 20 years of knowledge and experience with kids, she’s tackled everything from helping families with picky eaters to designing specialized diets for medical problems. Add on the fact that she’s also a mother of 4, it’s safe to say she knows healthy eating, knows kids, and she DEFINITELY knows what it’s like to be busy.

Okay, its Friday and pizza is another family favorite. Why not make your own with this easy and tasty recipe from Mom a la Mode. I’ll be over at 6 !

I thought you might like the recipe so you can also enjoy this pizza physically, in the comfort of your own home.  What’s a better supper on a Friday than fresh, homemade pizza…and maybe a glass (or two!) of Chianti??

“Week in Review” from ParentingintheLoop

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Tantrum discussions are trending…but then when aren’t they trending online somewhere in the parenting/grandparenting sphere?

Here are my picks this week.

I hope you all have a wonderful Labor Day Weekend…we are trying to capture some last rays of the summer, leaving our footprints in the sand and making memories to last us through the coming Fall and Winter.

The study, led by  Lauren Wakschlag, Ph.D., also debunked the common belief that temper tantrums are rampant among young children. Although temper tantrums among preschoolers are common, they are not particularly frequent, the research shows. Less than 10 percent of young children have a daily tantrum. That pattern is similar for girls and boys, poor and non-poor children, and Hispanic, white, and African-American children.The study found key differences between “typical” tantrums and “atypical” tantrums.

Very interesting information regarding typical and atypical tantrums, if you have a question about your preschooler’s meltdowns you might want to check out this new information from Northwestern Memorial Hospital.

This post from Core Parenting, discusses how to deal with a tantrum with emotional competence. Agree or disagree it just might help get you through the next toddler/preschooler meltdown.

So the next time your child has big emotion, change the way you think and see and respond in the moment. Change your thoughts from “Oh no, not again!” to “Yes! Another opportunity to practice emotional competence!” Take a deep breath and be amazed at the hard work your child is doing. Learning about emotions is difficult, engaging work. Be there, by their side.

Preschool Problems…

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I recently read a post which discussed whether we should be teaching our kids to hit back when another child hits them in preschool.

Personally, I think hitting back in school should not encouraged at any age much less in preschool. If a child is being hit at school, it seems to me that the teacher should intervene. If the offending child keeps hitting that calls for parent/teacher discussions.

Our preschool does not tolerate hitting and deals with these issues directly with the offending child’s family. Apologies are expected from the child doing the hitting to the child or children that he/she hit. That is usually the end of it. I am not sure what happens if this type of behavior continues.

It seems that encouraging a child to hit back does nothing to solve the problem…it merely tells another child that hitting is okay in certain instances. To me, preschoolers, do not seem to have the ability to differentiate between when hitting back may in fact be appropriate.

I think preschoolers should defend themselves by telling the teacher and telling their parents.

The parent should then make sure that this is resolved swiftly and appropriately.

What do you think about teaching your preschool child to defend him/herself? Would you encourage hitting back? If so under what circumstances would you think hitting back was okay?

Do dads feel differently about this problem?

 

Time-outs…Time-ins for children…

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Time-outs and time-ins

Preschoolers are intensively learning rules and testing boundaries. That means yours may gleefully flout your directives and push the limits you impose whenever she gets the chance. And though a preschooler is much more capable of rational thought than a toddler, shes still ruled by her emotions, and can turn on a dime from a happy-go-lucky kid to a flailing, wailing wild thing.

via Time-outs: How to make them work ages 3 to 4 | BabyCenter.

We use time out at our house and usually it gives us all time to calm down. My little granddaughter usually responds to this method of behavior modification.

In fact, I use meditation…deep breathing time-outs when things get particularly hectic during the day.

So my suggestion would be to teach your child or grandchild how to quietly breathe whenever you get a quiet moment with them. My granddaughter shows an interest in yoga whenever she sees me practicing…so seize the opportunity to teach kids whenever you can.

Here is a summary about time-outs from Baby Center.

  • What is a time-out? It is not a punishment…but a time to modify  a child’s behavior, a time to get control again.
  • Time the time out One minute for each year so three minutes for a 3 year olds is what is recommended.
  • Make it a specific place for time-outs preferably one without any distractions but where you can observe them
  • Be consistent with what a child gets a time out for
  • Follow-up with a discussion about the behavior that caused the necessity of a time out.
  • Have time-ins for good behavior. Spend extra time with your child and tell him when is doing well.

Time-outs definitely have a place in behavior modification when used effectively within good guidelines they can help a child gain back his control and that is a good thing.