Mommy Blogs and “TMI”

Posted on May 16, 2012 by llpitlwp

The New York Times declared her to be “Queen Of The Mommy Bloggers,” but it’s been fully a decade since Heather Armstrong started her blog, Dooce, lost her job because of it, and embraced not without difficulty motherhood — all in public view.

via Top 100 Mom Blogs — all the Best Mom Blogs, including Dooce.

MOMMY BLOGS AND “TMI” (Too much information)

Are too many kids making guest appearances on their mommy’s blog, on instagrams or on Facebook pages?

I find this a serious question and somewhat of a dilemma.

As to what is the right answer, I am stumped.

How much is too much when it comes to exposing our personal life in photos and words online?

….Children are appearing in droves on social media. These appearances will be visible forever and ever…and it is not the fairytale forever and ever where all live happily ever after.

Blogs by moms are so popular especially if they are authentic and share honest feelings about motherhood…all that is good…all that is bad and even at times down right ugly. Sometimes the bad and the ugly win out when it comes to viewership which is what counts if you want to entice brands to advertise on your site and actually profit from your work.

Is this not a type of exploitation of our children? And is it all bad?

I love photos and children’s photos are so innocent and beautiful without being posed…so why not share them? But do you ever wonder as I do, who actually is viewing your photos?

How tight should our boundaries be??? Should we be reconsidering how much we discuss our children online? Are there situations and anecdotes that do not belong on line in a blog?

A seasoned writer, whom I respect, recently said to me, “This generation is not afraid of the internet as our generation is and they are not as concerned with overall privacy“.

I struggle with privacy and boundaries whenever I write about family and children. Literally, I have thousands of photos uploaded from which I could draw, but I find myself searching “Flickr’s Creative Commons” for an appropriate picture.

I love reading the “Mommy Blogs“…many of them are so beautifully and sincerely written and when photos are included it just adds to their overall beauty and authenticity.

The questions that I have about our children’s privacy are important ones in my eyes. They are influenced by my social worker lens from which I view kids and boundaries.

I hope that you can help answer some of my questions and that my blog is a good balance of what I can share and what I feel is too personal to print.

Talking About Kids Online: Whats Too Much Information? | Strollerderby.

Are you an unhappy parent???

Posted on May 9, 2012 by llpitlwp

Did having children change your level of happiness?

What a loaded question!

Ever since reading the articles listed below and then Lisa Belkin’s post about why these studies about parental happiness are wrong, I have been mulling this question over in my head.

I always remember hearing from early on in adulthood, that if your marriage was already in trouble and you were not as happy as you thought you could be, adding a child into the equation would not necessarily help an already problematic situation.

That being said, when I had my first child it was only a few months after our first wedding anniversary. Both my husband and I had been through a very stressful year. On my side of the marriage was, illness of very close family members, which took a toll on me emotionally. We both started new jobs and moved to South Florida’s rural Treasure Coast after living our entire lives in the New York and Boston metro areas. This was a total culture shock for both of us. To add to it, we had no family in Florida However, my mother was planning to relocate with my grandmother to the city north of us. My grandmother died just prior to the move which left me and my mother devastated.

In addition, I had some pretty serious medical issues which made my pregnancy “high risk” so we traveled to Miami (2 hours away) for all of my prenatal visits. Leaving my obstetrician in New York was one of the most difficult things I had to do. I secretly planned in my head to go back to NYC to deliver my baby up until my last trimester.

Finally I came to my senses and registered to deliver at Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami. It was a great hospital but left much to be desired when it came to mom’s creature comforts.

When I gave birth to my daughter…I was ecstatic! There was no post partum depression for me. All the sadness was behind me. It was winter in South Florida, the sun was shining and I was beaming. I had waited a long time to become a mother.

Fast forward two years…I delivered another little girl, again at Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami…I could not have been happier. Oh…my medical problems continued with heart flutters etc. so no more pregnancies were advised. It was a momentary sadness. It did not take me long to realize that two children less than two years apart was going to keep me pretty busy for a very long time.

There were many moments between then and now that I have to say I experienced some unhappiness as a parent. Parenting was not easy and it still isn’t. Both my husband and I came from different religious and cultural backgrounds so that had its advantages and disadvantages. We worked out the “December Dilemma” and our respective families went along with the traditions and memories we were making for our family of four.

As I look back now…I was for the most part always happy…my glass is forever half full…I have never had a half empty glass that I can remember. For that I am thankful and feel blessed.

My mother died 11 years ago and my only sibling died 6 years ago, those were difficult losses to bear but my children and husband have been there for me.

It is difficult for me to even think about a life without having had my children and now I am fortunate to be a grandmother. Becoming a grandparent has made my life fuller than I could ever have imagined.

I now understand how my grandmother felt taking care of me and how my mother felt taking care of my girls. Life has come full circle in so many ways.

No matter what the studies say…I have a hard time believing that so many parents are unhappy being parents.

Maybe their expectations of parenthood are too high and thus happiness escapes them.

I truly feel for them.

What are your experiences and feelings about this discussion?

Lisa Belkin: Why So Many Studies About Parents And Happiness Are Wrong.

Does Having Children Make You Unhappy? – NYTimes.com.

Happy news on happiness; what can we believe? « Statistical Modeling, Causal Inference, and Social Science.

Top 10 Reasons Parents Are Happier Than Non-Parents | Strollerderby.

Happy Families – How to be a Happy Family – Parenting.com.

Week in Review…Parenting in the Loop

Posted on April 20, 2012 by llpitlwp

Interesting reads of my week….enjoy.

I love taking pictures of all kinds of things…my favorite subjects are people especially babies. Babies are beautiful and photographing them with a telephoto lens can really capture some wonderful ‘shots’ without disturbing their moment. Here are some tips on photographing those tiny baby hands and feet….nothing cuter!

It’s an adorable way to share something precious and personal with your friends, family, and followers, especially if you haven’t published photos of your lil one’s face yet. Here are a few tips on getting a great shot of those tiny feet and hands to share on social media.

How to Take Pictures of Babys Hands and Feet.

I don’t think I’m ready for finger pointing, and I’m starting to wonder — is sibling rivalry unavoidable? Are brothers destined to bicker with, resent, blame, ignore, irritate or annoy each other? Is fighting just part of the deal? Could it be that even having kids 12 years apart might not be enough to save us?

Devon Corneal: The Little Bother.

Remember the party hostess who warned me to not be sidelined by non-issues? Well she’s got to be feeling smug this week. You can’t listen to a newscast or read an item without an explosion of the Red versus Blue Mommy Wars.

Why Mommies Need To Stop Warring and Talk About What Really Matters To Us All – iVillage.

“Dont Potty Train Your Baby”…What???

Posted on April 19, 2012 by llpitlwp

I’m a pediatric urologist, and here’s my response to the parents of Izabella Oniciuc, the famous potty-trained 6-month-old: I know you are excited about your precocious pooper, but watch your daughter closely, because she may be headed for trouble.

Potty training is and has always been a topic up for discussion…after potty training two girls of my own and helping with my granddaughter, I feel comfortable saying that each child is different.

My statement, that each child is different in and of itself, is not earth shattering, But if you deeply believe that every child is unique it is my opinion that potty training will viewed as more of a natural process without the pressure that some parents feel with all the well meaning advice that they read and hear.

I think that this particular article has a lot to say to parents about some of the ideas that are ‘floating’ around potty training.

“My son wasn’t trained until he was 3.5 and it just clicked. My daughter is 3 and is giving me a hard time, but I have a feeling it will be the same way. Rest assured, they will not be going off to school still wearing diapers, so I don’t push it. There are more important things in life to stress over.”

via Steve Hodges, M.D.: A Doctor Responds: Dont Potty Train Your Baby.

Week in Review….Parenting in the Loop

Posted on March 23, 2012 by llpitlwp

Highlights of the week…sharing some of the reads of the last few days.

Kendal, an engaging girl who looks about 11 years old, is wearing a koala bear hat in the video she uploaded to YouTube. In it, she looks straight at the camera, explaining that “I just wanted to make a random video seeing if I was, like, ugly or not, because a lot of people call me ugly and I think I am ugly.”

Internet safety: Parents need to stay abreast of their kids online activities – latimes.com.

If you have spent any time with young children, you will be likely be completely familiar with the way that they can stay in the moment, focusing solely on whatever has caught their attention with all of their being.

Allowing Children to Be – news.

BRAIN. This simple, easy-to-remember tool will help you make solid, informed decisions about your options even in the most complicated situations!

Decision Making in Labor – How to Make a Decision in Labor.

Have a wonderful weekend from Parenting in the Loop.

1st Birthday…Social Event of the Year!

Posted on March 5, 2012 by llpitlwp

Baby’s First Birthday…

I have written about kids’ birthday parties in the past and really I am not a big fan of parties that are over the top…I’m sure some of you know what I mean.

First birthdays are different…they can set the stage for future parties…for me SIMPLE is the keyword.

This is the day your little one was born so also keep some time for your immediate family to celebrate too.

Party Tips:

Keep the party length manageable: 1 1/2 to 2 hours is a length that a one-year old can tolerate without interfering with a nap time.

Finger foods are wonderful…if it is around lunchtime pizza is always a go-to in our family. My personal thing is an early party with a breakfast theme. It has worked really well for us several times. Bagels, fruit…milk, juice, muffins. You can serve a cake for your little one at the end and have individually wrapped cupcakes for the guests to take home.

Themes are great…check out Pinterest.com for birthday theme ideas and www.amazingmoms.com is also a great website. Coordination of invitations and party paraphernalia is fun and easy with a theme…use your imagination or someone else’s if you are like me.

My personal favorite is a rainbow of bright colors with a homemade rainbow cake.

Have Fun…Enjoy the Celebration!

Car Seat Struggles….

Posted on February 2, 2012 by llpitlwp

Thursday Smiles...

Every now and then and sometimes more every time we get into the car it is a struggle getting into the car seat especially now that winter is in full swing with coats, sweaters and other bulk that makes a car seat nightmare…

We have even talked with Chicago police officers while dining out about car seat importance to absolutely no avail.

What does it take…I am not quite sure except a lot of patience but when you are parked in a precarious valet parking spot waiting for a toddler to get in his seat, it is really frustrating .

I share this with you all to get some suggestions as to how to deal with this ‘common’ problem. What do you suggest?

Here is a link that might help…

Car Seat Tantrums – Handled With Respect | Janet Lansbury.

Kid’s Birthday Bashes….

Posted on January 11, 2012 by llpitlwp

NOTEWORTHY WEDNESDAY!

As a mom, kids’ birthday parties have always irritated me …as a grandmother I realize not much has changed…my feelings are pretty much the same as they were “back in the day”.

Now don’t get me wrong…I love a good party and I guess that is the question. What is a good party for a toddler and preschooler?

My guidelines:

pick a theme
make it simple
make it fun
no gifts
useful goody bags
no candy

I prefer a morning party for a young child and have actually hosted a couple of “breakfast” parties. The kids usually eat and by lunch time all is said and done and there still is something left of the day….Years back we actually did a diner theme party from the “Penny Whistle Party Planner“. It was fun and entertaining…more importantly, the kids loved it.

Afternoon parties can be problematic if naps are still part of a child’s routine but let’s say it is an early afternoon event.,,, like after lunch, snacks and cake…maybe decorate your own cupcakes would amuse…some work involved …messy of course but let’s be creative here. How about ending with a game or two?

A late afternoon party could incorporate dinner foods like pizza and cupcakes...so then parents don’t have to worry about getting the kids to eat after they are stuffed with sweets…

Some type of theme is always fun…and the kids really do enjoy make-believe and seeing their parents role playing. Penny Whistle is a great reference…it is a timeless go to book.

Gifts…

Face it most kids don’t really need anything…they have stuff and more stuff.

So what about those gifts…how about asking for diapers to deliver to a shelter (Every Little Bottom) or some other thoughtful donation and have one gift from the parents or grandparents to open at the party.

On to those goody bags…or should I say “not so good bags”.

What about these…

lets just skip them altogether….nah!

or how about some simple useful stuff…

…crayons and a nice coloring book …easy and useful…markers and paper…no candy…please no candy

The party does not have to be at home but that of course is nice…

But let’s be realistic…how about checking out kid friendly venues and adapting it to your needs.

In any event…make it a kid friendly…

Happy Birthday!

Shopping with Baby

Posted on December 22, 2011 by llpitlwp

Some tips are really good year round for shopping with baby…so if you don’t have time to read anything new today….save it for after the holidays.

Enjoy…

It’s that time of year. You know, the time when you’re forced okay, maybe willing to show your love for friends and family by spending some cold-hard-cash on them. But something is different this time. Way different. You have a newborn. So, how do you manage shopping for the holidays with baby? We break it down so you won’t by venue with tips to prevent you and baby from turning into a Tiny Tears doll. After all, ‘tis the season to be jolly.

via Holiday Shopping with Baby – New Parent – Newborn Basics – TheBump.com.

Co-sleeping good or bad… safe or dangerous….

Posted on November 18, 2011 by llpitlwp

Co-sleeping...

Common sense certainly does enter into the equation…but some of us are gifted with more common sense than others.

It would be nice to think that there is a clear answer to what is safest and best for baby when it comes to eating, peeing and popping and sleeping.

Formula feeding…breastfeeding ….Cloth diapers…”pampers”….diaper free (elimination communication)….cribs…co-sleeping?

So many decisions so many discussions without any clearly right or wrong answers.

What ever you choose for your child…make sure you make the choice based on “common sense” for your lifestyle and what will work best for you, your family and child.

Do your homework…it is important for your child.

Cosleeping is not the devil. Is it dangerous? Yes. But so is sleeping in a crib. Pack and plays are death traps. Do we still use them? Of course. The key is common sense. Something we sorely lack in this world.

There are safety measures you have to take no matter where your baby sleeps. To put your baby in a crib you have rules. Common sense rules like no heavy blankets, pillows, toys, bumpers, gaps in the mattress, bars of a certain width, etc.

Cosleeping has safety rules too: do not drink or smoke before bed, sleep on a firm mattress or futon, no heavy blankets or pillows, don’t sleep with the baby if you have sleep apnea or if your bed is too small, put your mattress on the floor, etc.

So is cosleeping dangerous? Yes, if done without care or thought. So think. Use the mind that the creator (whoever she/he is) gave you and think about what you are doing with your babies. Don’t blindly follow trends or advice from ads plastered on bus shelters. Do research and make informed decisions with a big dollop of common sense tailored to your own little family’s needs.

via Common Sense and Cosleeping | Tales of a Kitchen Witch.