Weekend Pick from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on March 12, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pick from Parenting in the Loop

Hello Saturday!

I am glad you are here so we can catch up with each other in our family. We are lucky to have FaceTime to see those of us who are faraway and dear to us. This grandmother never imagined a handheld smart phone that could connect my love ones so easily.

My family growing up either lived in the same apartment building, or very distant like the Japan, Europe and the Philippines. The distant family I only saw once a year when they visited NY. We did not talk on the phone but we once connected with my brother on a HAM radio.

Now what does this Parenting in the Loop have to do with family and weekends. Well, how many parents and grandparents are going to be doing homework and projects with their kids and grandkids this today?

Does it make you feel good when you spend time with your kids and grandkids doing ‘their’ school work on the weekend.

A fascinating article points out there are better uses of time than homework in elementary school and I would definitely agree.

What would you do if your child did not have homework? Would you be creative and do something fun with the family?

Would love to hear your ideas!

Happy Weekend!

What works better than traditional homework at the elementary level is simply reading at home. This can mean parents reading aloud to children as well as children reading. The key is to make sure it’s joyous. If a child doesn’t want to practice her reading skills after a long school day, let her listen instead. Any other projects that come home should be optional and occasional. If the assignment does not promote greater love of school and interest in learning, then it has no place in an elementary school-aged child’s day. Elementary school kids deserve a ban on homework. This can be achieved at the family, classroom or school level. Families can opt out, teachers can set a culture of no homework (or rare, optional homework), and schools can take time to read the research and rekindle joy in learning. Homework has no place in a young child’s life. With no academic benefit, there are simply better uses for after-school hours.

Source: Homework is wrecking our kids: The research is clear, let’s ban elementary homework – Salon.com

Weekend Picks from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on March 4, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Picks from Parenting in the Loop

Weekend travel is so common and we are so blessed when we can enjoy a getaway from the day to day! So as we prepare for yet another travel adventure I cannot help but react to this event on an airplane.

This story just affected me to my core when I read it after it popped up on my personal Facebook page. Our family too, deals with anaphylactic food allergies and we travel and have traveled pretty much without any serious events especially any life threatening situations. That being said, I am so sad that there seems to be such a horrible lack of compassion for adults and children, who have disabilities which to me can even be a food allergy as it does curtail one’s ability to enjoy certain activities due to environmental factors.

Empathy and compassion accompanied with knowledge and understanding from his fellow fliers would have perhaps not broken the spirit of 7 year-old little Giovanni, who was on a trip with his terminally ill father, a trip that was probably the last one they would ever take together. Can you even imagine how Giovanni felt when he heard a plane full of adults clapping as he left the flight that was supposed to take him home with his family and as he watched one of the attendants smirk at his mother as she told his mom, they should probably drive.

A seven year old little boy now has to remember that adults were happy to see him abandoned to the airport, stranded with his deathly ill dad and his mom at a time when he himself was covered in hives, scratching all over.

I cannot help but think how it could be that people are so inappropriately reactive and insensitive to another person’s problem. Maybe it was a ‘herd’ reaction but that really is not an excuse for being so out of touch with those in such proximity.

What if someone was having a heart attack. Would the ‘herd’ have responded in the same way?

What if it was you or a family member that needed medical attention just before take-off?

I hope that Giovanni’s physical recovery was uneventful and that emotionally he can put this ugly experience behind him as he enjoys his time with his Dad, who suffers from cancer. I also hope his Dad knows that his son probably will have other experiences during his life related to his allergies and that Giovanni will reflect back on this one as the event that helped him understand and have empathy for those that also have allergies and disabilities. Perhaps Giovanni was concerned even more about his sick Dad than himself as he departed his flight. Kids at seven can be very alarmed when adults around them are sick.

When 7-year-old Giovanni began to break out in hives shortly after boarding a plane in Bellingham, WA, with his parents, the family had no idea that their painful ordeal was just beginning. “He began to get very itchy and he was scratching all over,” the boy’s mom, Christina Fabian, told THV11 News. “So we informed the flight attendant, who informed us that there’s dogs on every flight and just smirked . . . which minimized his experience for me.” The allergic reaction delayed takeoff, and eventually, the family was told that they’d have to deboard. “We understood,” Fabian said. “They helped us off the plane, but as we gathered our stuff the people toward the back of the plane clapped.”

Source: Passengers Applaud as Boy With Allergies Is Forced Off Plane | POPSUGAR Moms

So this weekend, I am going to try to be extra sensitive to those around me, even if they are strangers, even if they are delaying me or annoying me for whatever reason. I am as impatient as everyone else these days and I have my moments where I just don’t want to deal with life’s inconveniences.

Although I cannot change anyone, it is possible for me to at least improve my own efforts to express empathy and understanding one day, or even one weekend at a time.

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on February 19, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Spices of Life

I am really into decluttering. But I find it a totally frustrating experience at best. Devoting any of my precious hard earned time on any given Saturday or Sunday is definitely not something I relish.

Do you feel the same way?

OR…

Are you already super organized?

Are you a weekend warrior and love projects like these?

I loved this post in the New York Times. Both of these women and their approaches appeal to me. So I am already stuck, when it comes to organizing my kitchen space.

Two Cooks, Two Kitchens, Two Organizing Plans

Do different cooks need different approaches to organizing the kitchen?

I wasn’t the only one who was feeling the need for a kitchen makeover. Margaux Laskey, my partner in the Kids Cook column, was having similar thoughts. Although we’re both working parents who love to cook, we’re in different places in our lives: She’s the mother of a baby and a preschooler, while my kids are older (9, 10, 11 and 14). Her kitchen is small, mine is the big country version. Did we also need different approaches to a kitchen clean-out?

On one hand I don’t think I could stand to have everything out of my cabinets and exposed so it would be hard for me to choose the first plan. On the other hand I like the outcome even if it took almost 10 days to achieve.

The second approach is more appealing because there seems to be a more immediate gratification in having one part of my kitchen organized even if it is just the spice cabinet.

Neither one of these is a weekend project for me.

Over the years I have tried decluttering and one of the things I simplified was my wardrobe. That was about 15 years ago and at this point it is in severe need of a revisit.

Our house has been the home at any given time for 4 generations of our family and we have only lived here for 20 or so years. There are many things that evoke memories of times and people gone by. It is not so easy to “dispose” of these memory charged things. It feels like I am actually throwing away my past even though I know that it not true.

I love the fact that I can take photos of the things before I give them away and those photos can be store readily stored on my computer literally forever. I know my mother would not want me to be a slave to saving her things unless it was something that brought me true joy when I wore it or looked at it. I have to keep this in mind.

I can truly tell you I will not be decluttering this weekend since I prefer to procrastinate.

What will you be doing?

Donna’s Day for Childhood Cancer

Posted on February 16, 2016 by llpitlwp

Donna’s Day for Childhood Cancer

The thing that my instructor made sure we all understood as pediatric nursing students was this ONE fact…

Children are not little adults especially when they are sick.

We must treat them differently.

I have never forgotten this

It is why I support

St. Baldrick’s

and

Donna’s Day

St Baldrick’s raises money to fund research for Kids Cancer!

Research that is key to curing kids cancer.

Treatments for kids should be specialized for kids. Just imagine if this were the case, 30% more kids would survive.

That is a reason alone to search for specific treatments for kids. If it were a child of yours, you would want those treatments.
When a kid gets cancer, it may be in the white blood cells, in the nervous system, in the brain or bones, in the lymphatic system, muscles or kidneys.

It happens to be that, (ALL), Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia is the most common childhood cancer.

In the 1950s, almost all kids diagnosed with cancer died.

Because of research,

today about 90% of kids with the most common type of cancer will live. But for many other types, progress has been limited, and for some kids there is still little hope for a cure.

In the early 70’s as a student nurse, I took care of Jeffrey, a little boy with ALL. He was hospitalized at Mt. Sinai Hospital in NYC.

Jeffrey received state of the art treatment for ALL in 1971, which was chemotherapy. Despite treatment at one of the finest pediatric centers Jeffrey died at age four, leaving his dad, mom and younger sister brokenhearted.

Today, I can’t help but think as I write this post, little Jeffrey would have survived with a long term remission or even a cure. I am hopeful that we can provide remissions and cures for other kids’ cancers. I would like to see no more kids die like sweet little Donna and Jeffrey.

There are very specific differences between adult and kids cancer:

Adult cancers can be diagnosed early where kids cancers have already spread by the time diagnosis is made.

Some cancers never strike after the age of 5.

Other cancers occur most often in teenagers.

There are over a dozen types of childhood cancers and countless subtypes.

About 60% of all funding for drug development in adult cancers comes from pharmaceutical companies.

For kids? Almost none, because childhood cancer drugs are not profitable.

Sad but true, it is about profits!

Donna’s Day 2016

In Chicago we’re having a St. Baldrick’s Event to raise money to fund research in hopes that one day no child will have to fight cancer.

The St. Baldrick’s Foundation is a volunteer-driven charity that funds more in childhood cancer research grants than any organization except the U.S. government.

You can be involved by donating, signing up to be a participant, fundraising, volunteering, and attending.

Join us on the event day to celebrate Donna’s spirit, meet Mary Tyler Mom and family, and gather with others who have been truly touched by their little girl’s story. We look forward to your participation this year.

Won’t you join us?

A St. Baldrick’s Event

Source: Donna’s Good Things at Candlelite Chicago | A St. Baldrick’s Event

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on February 6, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Welcome back!

Do you play catch up on the weekend? This weeks pics are short and sweet to read while you take a much needed break from the weekday routines.

Baths…are they really necessary every day for kids? What is the routine in your house? Do you wash your child’s hair every time they shower or take a bath? I never really thought about this too much but it must be a topic of discussion so here are some guidelines.

My grandmother told me that back in the day Saturday night was bath night and their tubs were in the kitchen because they had to heat their own bath water on the stove. That was tenement living in NYC in the early 1900’s.

Contrary to popular belief, babies don’t need daily baths, according to Laura Jana, MD, spokeswoman for the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). It’s not until they begin crawling around in sandboxes and other places, and start eating solid foods, that they get dirty enough to merit a full-body wash. “Bathing is really necessary only to clean your child off when she gets dirty,” pediatrician David Gellar, MD, told BabyCenter.

Source: Do Kids Really Need a Bath Every Day? The Great Debate

How do you promote creativity in your children and grandchildren? This week I read that kids are better off with lots of arts and crafts in their play space than a bunch of toys. I would not argue with that except there are definitely toys that creative while being fun. I am thinking about STEM ‘toys’ in particular robots like Dash and Dot, and Legos. How does your weekend stack up when it comes to creativity?

Re “How to Raise a Creative Child” (Sunday Review, Jan. 31): What Adam Grant says about the relationship between freedom and creativity is so true. But now I fear that the tiger moms and dads will decide that they can mass-produce creative children merely by cutting back on rules and letting their children follow their hearts. I would argue that the sources of creativity are deeper than that: Creative children tend to have creative parents who encourage and value creativity in their offspring.

Source: On Freeing a Child to Be Creative – The New York Times

This is a great short article about kids and money and the effects of managing it even at an early age and keeping the conversations about spending alive as the years go on. A very worthwhile read even for adults who have money/materialism issues.

Children are ever-changing beings, but when it comes to money and materialism, too many parents think that their older offspring are not malleable at all.

Here are the 6 Steps:

Foundation
Conversation
Wants and Needs
Keeping Score
Money Mentor
Keep Money Conversation Alive with Children During the Years Ahead

Source: Six Steps to Curb Materialism in Your Kids – The New York Times

Okay…now I know this is Super Bowl Weekend, so enjoy if you that is your thing. I like the commercials and the snacks! What about you?

Baby Development at 5 Months

Posted on February 1, 2016 by llpitlwp

Your Baby Development at 5 Months

Homing in on sounds Your baby now realizes where sounds come from, and he’ll turn quickly toward a new one. One of the easiest ways to engage him is to jingle a set of keys.

Things your baby might enjoy

Wind chimes
His own name may cause him to turn and look at you
Your baby is learning language from you not from tv or radio
Your baby has a growing range of emotions

He is expressing emotions but not in any complex manner. His sense of humor and his ability to show love are just developing. He can really tell you when he is angry and bored.

Your baby also shows a strong attachment to you by raising his arms when he wants to be picked up and by crying when you leave the room. He may also give you hugs and kisses.

He’ll laugh at your funny expressions and he’ll try to make you laugh too.

Remember always that your baby is an individual and accomplishes these milestones on his own schedule.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies be breastfed exclusively for at least six months – though parents will attest that some babies are eager and ready to eat solids earlier.

More Baby Development:-Starting solids is always a real milestone for baby and for parents. How, what, when are the questions that come up now.

baby development 5 months

How will you know when your baby is ready for solid food?

Here are cues to look for in baby development that will tell you he is ready to try some solid food.

Head control-being able to keep his head in a upright steady postion

Losing his “extrusion reflex”-he will have to stop pushing food out of his mouth with his tongue

He will have to sit well when supported. Even though he might not be ready for a high chair he needs to be able to be sitting upright to swallow well.

Chewing motions. Your baby’s mouth and tongue develop in sync with his digestive system. To start solids, he should be able to move food to the back of his mouth and swallow. As he learns to swallow efficiently, you may notice less drooling – though if your baby’s teething, you might still see a lot of drool.

When he is at least 4 months old and has doubled his birth weight or weighs about 15 pounds.

He seems hungry even after getting formula or breast fed his regular feeding.

He is curious about what you are eating.

Baby development is truly fascinating so take the time to enjoy all these small milestones that are happening.

Your baby is UNIQUE!

Source: Your 5-month-old’s development: Week 1 | BabyCenter

Source: Starting Solids

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on January 30, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Saturday mornings are usually busy ones, for that matter so are Sundays but they are are a welcome change from the weekdays because work is not part of the schedule.

How does you weekend look?

Do you give yourself a chance to relax?

It is so important for your over all well being that you do take time out.

What do you do to unwind from the busy week?

I used to like to shop when I had a free weekend day… browsing stores and checking out new fashion, make-up etc was a way for me to relax. That is really a luxury that I now do once in awhile during a free weekday. Most of my shopping is done online these days. I love my virtual friends whose sites curate fashion, tech, books, and must-haves of all sorts. I find they all help me save time when it comes to shopping and researching the best buys.

I am sure you know the saying “if it is too good to be true then it is not true”. That is what I think about when I read any advertisement. Babble has found some parenting items that although too good to be true are really truly great items. Check them out. Which one is your favorite? I like more than one!

bottle-top-adapator

But my point is, I am fully behind parenting products and technologies that improve our lives, help protect our children, or frankly, just give me a few minutes of peace and quiet. Which is why I’m really looking forward to incorporating a few of these too-good-to-be true parenting products into my motherhood game.

DNA tests for diets? A Keurig for formula? Car seat alerts to your phone? The future of parenting has arrived.

Source: 12 Parenting Products That Seem Too Good to Be True | Babble

This is an election year and it is a difficult one with the primaries coming up this week. I found this book fascinating and helpful at the same time. Is it time for Hillary or not and why not? Check out my sponsored book review of “Love Her Love Her Not The Hillary Paradox”.

weekend reading

How do you feel about the former First Lady’s bid for the Presidency? Do you want to know what other women think and feel about her candidacy?

If you do then Love Her, Love Her Not – The Hillary Paradox edited by Joanne Cronrath Bamberger is the book for you.

Source: Hillary…The Woman… The Mom…The President

To most of you it is no surprise that I love being a grandmother. I do not have a “secret life”. My priorities are fixed in this order God, Family, Work.

Do you have a secret life? How do you feel about ‘babysitting’ and childcare? I would love to hear from you.

The Secret Lives of Modern Grandmothers

Chicago is going to be warmish this weekend…40’s. I know…it is all relative. In LA that would be freezing but here we think and actually feel warm.

No matter what your weather, take time to enjoy the view!

Hillary…The Woman, The Mom, The President…

Posted on January 24, 2016 by llpitlwp

Hillary Clinton…The Woman, The Mom, The Grandmom, The President?

Hillary Paradox

How do you feel about the former First Lady’s bid for the Presidency? Do you want to know what other women think and feel about her candidacy?

If you do then Love Her, Love Her Not – The Hillary Paradox edited by Joanne Cronrath Bamberger is the book for you.

Fantastic book that was given to me by the author and signed in exchange for my thoughts about it.

I am honored to do this review for Joanne Bamberger because she has compiled a book about what many accomplished women think of Hillary Clinton. This compilation of essays has touched me by both challenging and supporting what I myself feel and think about Mrs. Clinton and the possibility of her becoming the first female President of the United States, (POTUS)!

Hillary is ambitious both personally and politically and undeniably intelligent. It seems most women either fiercely like her or fiercely dislike her. There are few women who sit on the fence when it comes to their feelings and thoughts about the former First Lady.

If she is wins the Presidency, the United States will have elected their first woman as POTUS after having elected their first African-American as POTUS. This says so much about our country and how much we value competence and good qualifications in our President and the fact that we are able to look beyond race and gender. Yes, it has taken many years but I think we are there and ready for this milestone.

Bamberger’s book has come along at just the right time for me as I have always had my opinions of Hillary swayed by the many contradictions that I have witnessed during her political life. She is my contemporary and that makes me measure her against many of my own experiences during the 60’s, 70’s 80’s 90’s and now into the 21st century.

“She embodies almost every human contradiction as she seeks to make her mark in politics, where we look for certainty, even when we know that our own authentic selves have those same contradictions.”

Love Her, Love Her Not is the perfect book for those who desire to know more about Hillary and are curious about what other diverse women think of her and why. It endeavors to answer the question that Lisa Belkin asks on the cover “Why are we so conflicted about her as with no other politician?”. Reading the thoughts of others may help to tease out our own thoughts about why we feel the way we do about Mrs. Clinton and her bid to be POTUS.

Who better than women to share their ideas and thoughts concerning Hillary Clinton. Women understand women is what I consistently have found. Although I might not agree with all of these women I loved reading what they had to say. It is my way of searching for the information I need to make an informed intelligent choice when I step into my voting booth next November.

I would recommend this book to my friends and others. The time has come for a woman to be President!

Don’t you agree?

Will it be Hillary?

Learn more about Joanne Bamberger and her book tour.

Follow Joanne Bamberger on Facebook

About

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on January 22, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Do you know what the “growth mind set” mean? I wasn’t quite sure but this post explains the emphasis on learning not just the goal. Do you agree?

That’s far from the real message of the research surrounding the growth mind-set. The exclusive focus on effort has been misplaced, says Dr. Dweck, whose book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” delivered the phrase into popular culture. The emphasis should be on learning as an active process, not a goal. “We’re not just saying ‘effort’ anymore,” she says. “We also talk about using good strategies and getting help from others.” Part of a growth mind-set is being willing to learn how best to learn. “Parents may be familiar with the growth mind-set, but they may be using it toward the goal of the next test grade or school application. That’s not what it is. It’s about learning and improving and loving the process. Those other things come about as a byproduct.”

Source: ‘Nice Try!’ Is Not Enough – The New York Times

As we get older it is harder to make “people connections” . There are some things that can help with the feeling of being lonely. Gretchen Rubin has some suggestions in this post which is helpful to keep from being lonely even if you are alone. This is a great read for those stuck inside this weekend during “Snowmaggedon2016”.

One major challenge within happiness is loneliness. The more I’ve learned about happiness, the more I’ve come to believe that loneliness is a terrible, common, and important obstacle to consider.
Source: Lonely? 5 Habits to Consider to Combat Loneliness. | Gretchen Rubin

As a clinical social worker I am in love with the concept and theory known as the “Good Enough Mother” developed my Winnicott. Our failures actually help our kids. You will enjoy this post.

Each time we let our children down, and they get through it, they get just a little bit stronger. That is the gift of the good enough mother, and it’s time we all embrace it.

Source: The Gift of the Good Enough Mother | Seleni Institute

This weekend here in Chicago we are escaping “Snowmaggedon2016”. I have to say that I am happy about our weather even if it has been bitter cold. This week we have been in a deep freeze with a smattering of snow almost every day. After many years here in the midwest it is still something that comes along with winter that I could definitely do without.

I hope that all of my friends and everyone in the East stays safe this weekend during this horrible blizzard. It is not just the snow accumulation it is the wind and storm surge along the coastline that makes this storm so dangerous.

Please be safe and warm everyone!

Blue Monday…is a Made-up Day!

Posted on January 18, 2016 by llpitlwp

Blue Monday…is it real? What do you think?

It may be useful to know that Blue Monday was in fact created in 2005 by a British holiday company. The idea was derived not from the results of any in-depth research, but instead by using a calculation involving such factors as current weather conditions and debt levels. However, while it had no basis in science, the idea caught on, and now many of us have come to dread it.

Source: How to beat Blue Monday

In reality it is not that difficult to beat “the blues” which are so common this time of year when it is cold, dark and dreary outside. Just do not stay cooped up inside under your down comforter.

Here is the synopsis of “how to beat blue Monday” which you can use anytime to beat the blues.

smile
aerobic exercise
enjoy the light outside for at least 10 minutes
be grateful
be altruistic

For me personally, I use a “Happy Light” on my work table. I have used it for about ten years during the long dreary days of winter here in the midwest.