What are “STEM” Toys?

Posted on February 26, 2014 by llpitlwp

Do you know what “STEM” toys are?

Toy Fair 2014 NYC sounded like the place to be for anyone who loves toys, buys toys or sells toys.

As a grandmother, I am particularly interested in toy quality and what is educational as well as age appropriate.

I am not particularly bothered by toys that target gender because I buy and encourage my grandchild to play with items whether they are considered “boy” or “girl” toys.

The princess rage does not bother me either…I try to watch the princess stories so I can explain the positive qualities that each character possesses along with the issues that the villain presents to my grandchild.

This all being said…I came across some interesting posts that were driven by visits to the Toy Fair 2014.

I was not familiar with the acronym STEM– which refers to science, technology, engineering and mathematics.

Apparently this word describes characteristics, which parents like when shopping for play items.

Samantha Murphy Kelly, describes several toys which teach children architecture, programming and construction…including creating your own robot.

Quite a change from Barbie, as she says!

Another favorite mom blogger of mine Liz Gumbinner from Mom 101 and Cool Mom Picks devoted a piece to toys that she felt were not so gender specific. Why are we so committed to pink for girls and primary colors for boys or fireman outfits for boys and princess gear for girls?

My wish is that toy manufacturers would catch up to parents, and grandparents, who are looking for toys that do not single out gender but instead help to create a world wide open to boys and girls in their world of play.

Related:

7 STEM Toys That Put Barbie to Shame

Smart Toys for Girls-No Princesses Pink Aisle by Samantha Kelly Murphy

A Very Happy Valentines Day 2014!

Posted on February 14, 2014 by llpitlwp

Happy Valentines Day!

A Valentine mosaic is so appropriate today…

I am remembering all the Valentines in my life…those who are far and those who are near…those who who are no longer here.

We are all tied by an Invisible String of Love that “Loops” us together forever.

Valentine’s Day 2014 is dedicated to my beloved sister-in-law who died recently.

She helped loop our family together with

LOVE…

Listening to your Children

Posted on January 31, 2014 by llpitlwp

“Are you listening to me”?

Since I returned to Chicago two weeks ago it has been frigid, with a mixture of snow and ice…

I cannot remember when the cold has been this bad for so long…it seems like many years since I made sure I had a blanket and supplies in my car just in case it was needed!

At least, I no longer have a diesel engine car which would freeze and just refuse to go anywhere in the cold.

During the past few weeks, I have taken a hiatus. With all the cold I was beginning to think my brain has frozen along with my keyboard…

A few days ago, I came across an important piece about active listening…

There just doesn’t seem to be anything more important than actually listening to our children and grandchildren to help them develop empathy, feel validated and remain willing to talk to us.

As a social worker and nurse, listening skills were paramount while caring for others… listening both with my ears and my eyes. Body language can also tell you how a person really feels and whether their words are contradicted by their bodies.

When I was growing up in the 50’s…there was a mantra…”children should be seen and not heard”.

I was never quite sure what was actually meant by this statement. What I do know, is that as the youngest member of my family, I always made myself known.

Over the years, it seems this saying has disappeared and to that I would say, “good riddance”!

Children speak to us in so many ways…through solo play with their toys, through our interactions with them, through body language and through behavior such as crying and tantrums.

Listening to your child with your undivided attention can derail a tantrum…really!

Making sure you understand what he is trying to tell you with his actions and his words is a very powerful tool…it actually shows your child that you care about how he is feeling.

I know, I feel so appreciative of someone, who really listens to me and is not trying to formulate a response while I am talking.

Children appreciate real listening as well and will continue to seek you out as they get older if you are a good listener when they are young.

So…try active listening…it is not easy. Beforehand, you may have to step back and center yourself rather than scream out loud as you step forward with open ears, eyes and arms.

Active listening improves communication in the parent child relationship.

Sand and Sun in the Caribbean

Image

Sometimes sand and sun is all I need to rejuvenate me…what about you?

For the past few days, I have been relaxing and taking in the beautiful hospitality of Grand Cayman.

It is a wonderful island …the beaches are pristine and the water is welcoming, especially after leaving sub-freezing temperatures in Chicago.

Tomorrow reality will return as we travel back to the cold…but in the meantime even though it is cloudy today, there is still a little sun and sand alongside the beautiful Caribbean.

See you all stateside…Happy Thursday!

Moms and Sons…

Posted on January 7, 2014 by llpitlwp

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEbpbNTkIdk

Old Spice has exploited moms and sons and their relationships.

What do you think?

I would be interested in hearing from moms of sons on this one.

Are you that attached to your sons? If you have more than one son, is your attachment stronger toward one son than the other?

This commercial is kind of creepy but is there an element of truth to it?

Are moms wary of their young adult/adult sons developing relationships with girls/women?

After watching this commercial…what do you think about the depiction of the mom…so crazy ….RIght?

Not only does she act crazy but she looks crazy as she watches her son grow up…

Sad…sad…sad!

I have no sons…but I hate this commercial because of the way it depicts the mom.

I know moms of sons. I sometimes think they helicopter too much but not necessarily more than moms of daughters… yet I remember my friend in the early 80’s, telling me that she had to let her pre-school son be a boy as he was climbing around the playground somewhat recklessly compared to our daughters. I was nervous for him but understood what my girlfriend was saying.

She did not want him to be a “sissy”.

Old Spice is this grandmother’s, father’s aftershave so…

Moms, you really have nothing to worry about if your son is using Old Spice…

Attachment and Loss …2013

Posted on January 4, 2014 by llpitlwp

Loss and Attachment…

Years ago, a very astute clinical social worker made this simple statement at one of my supervision sessions…”life is a series of attachments and losses” and it is important how we form attachments and how we deal with eventual losses.

The year 2013 has come to a close and along with it some life moments of attachment and loss.

Family attachments are really my most important and this year we welcomed my daughter’s fiancé into our family. We give him our love and support and wish the very best to them as a couple for a long, happy and healthy future.

Together as a family, we are stronger than the sum of the individuals. Helping and supporting each other to the best of our ability given distance and our own separate lives is something we try to never forget.

Attachment at work.

My granddaughter still continues to amaze me. I anxiously look forward to sharing her “firsts” during 2014.

I love looking through her eyes as she welcomes new experiences. It brings back memories of my own childhood as well as those of my own children’s experiences.

Friends are dear to me and during 2013 our family lost one of our nearest and dearest.

It is a loss that we are still grieving. It will be a year of “magical thinking” as we go through firsts without him. His family suffers most and this is so hard to witness. They are grieving the loss of the deepest attachment, a father and a husband.

The year 2013 has brought me into contact with many new “virtual friends” and social media has kept me in touch with many old attachments. I love blogging and FB for this reason. It allows me to share with those that live across the country on a daily basis…even if it is just a simple photo. I love seeing the mundane as well as the fantastic.

After all isn’t the mundane what it is mostly about as we age?

I feel like I have just rambled but after two weeks of holiday…at home with a five year old it is where my mind is at…we have all been nursing varying degrees of winter illnesses and a severe bout of “cabin fever”.

Today…it is 24F and perhaps we will venture outside…if only to prepare for subzero deep freeze and the snow that is promised for tonight.

Chicago Holidays…Lincoln Park Zoo

Posted on December 29, 2013 by llpitlwp

Chicago is a world class city.

Being a native of New York, I really thought that I would never get used to living away from it.

But Chicago is where I have been at home for many years and where my children have grown up. Now, as a grandparent, it is my turn to enjoy Chicago and all it has to offer.

Chicago Holidays...zoo lights Last night was unusually warm for December, so we took advantage of the balmy weather and made a spur of the moment plan to have dinner downtown and try to take in the Zoo Lights at Lincoln Park.

First, we stopped at Viaggio on Fullerton and had an excellent meal with our granddaughter.

To our surprise, it was child friendly and they were very accommodating with our late arrival due to horrendous traffic.

Viaggio came recommended to us just that afternoon so it was a new find and a wonderful one. We met the owner, Dave and his daughter.

I think we will find our way back there soon maybe without our granddaughter so our meal can be more leisurely.

Unfortunately, our attempt to visit the Zoo Lights was limited to driving along Stockton with the rest of mankind, looking for parking. It seems that everyone was taking advantage of the unseasonable weather.

The light show was fantastic even from a distance and Lakeshore Drive lived up to my expectations on a clear night.

The lights along “The Drive” make me so happy to live near Chicago, such a gorgeous city.

My granddaughter thought all the lights were pretty fantastic and exciting… her enthusiasm was contagious!

Fostering Emotional Health In Our Children

Posted on December 27, 2013 by llpitlwp

Children and Emotional Health…how to foster emotional health in our children is, to me, one of the most misunderstood areas of child development.

I am the first to say, I wish I knew or I wish we knew more about child development while raising our own daughters.

While we are raising our children it is sometimes difficult to put aside the “ways” of own parents. They sneak into our relationships with our kids, especially when the going gets rough and we are tired.

Crying craziness…

When children are crying and their emotions are running high it has a tendency to push our buttons… at that moment it is so hard to step back and gain control of ourselves much less our little one.

But that is just what is needed in order to recognize our children‘s emotions as valid and acceptable. Now, I am not talking about “no discipline”.

It is really all about discipline.

Parental or adult discipline of children should be designed to help children engage better with others and to modify or control their behavior. Providing appropriate discipline to children is one of the most essential responsibilities of a parent. And providing consistent and positive discipline helps children grow into responsible adults.

According to the Committee for Children (2004), the purpose of discipline is “to encourage moral, physical, and intellectual development and a sense of responsibility in children.

Ultimately, older children will do the right thing, not because they fear external reprisal, but because they have internalized a standard initially presented by parents and other caretakers. In learning to rely on their own resources rather than their parents, children gain self-confidence and a positive self-image.”

via Child Discipline.

Discipline is really about “teaching” and modeling behavior…in order to teach as a parent you have to be in control of yourself and your own emotions…this is not easy when our child is having “a moment”.

Allowing your child to express his feelings and accepting his feelings is a time for us as parents and grandparents to teach them that their feelings are real and acceptable unless they are behaving destructively or in an unsafe way.

Tantrums can be unsafe…first control the environment and then deal with the tantrum itself. It is sort of like a panic attack…until the panic subsides there can be no teaching.

In the beginning, fostering healthy emotional development for our children means listening and trying to decipher our babies’ cries rather than immediately suppressing or ignoring them. It means that throughout childhood, anger, grief and sadness are acceptable feelings for our children to express anytime anywhere (although never in a destructive or unsafe manner). Granting our children this freedom to be their whole selves — unconditional acceptance — will lead to far fewer enraged or depressed adults in the future.

via No Angry Kids – Fostering Emotional Literacy In Our Children | Janet Lansbury.

Fostering emotional health in your child and unconditionally accepting a child’s emotions within a healthy framework is essential to growth and development.

In order to accomplish this, a parent or caregiver has to first, recognize their own emotions and be able to model acceptable behavior for their children.

PostPartum Depression- You Do Not Have to Suffer.

Posted on December 20, 2013 by llpitlwp

Postpartum depression …you do not need to suffer through it!

The holidays can seriously effect our mood. After having a baby around the holidays, a bout of postpartum depression can hit hard and come right out of nowhere during a time when a mom feels that she should be rejoicing over the birth of her baby.

If a new mom has recently suffered a loss in her life, the holidays can add another burden of trying to “carry on” when she just doesn’t feel up to it.

Grief combined with the emotions and adjustment of having a newborn certainly can predispose a new mom to postpartum depression because she may already be somewhat depressed.

The following is a post I wrote a year ago.

If you or anyone you know is at risk for PPD this may be a helpful read.

If you are depressed please seek help…in an emergency go to your nearest emergency room.

If you want to find a therapist call your Ob-Gyne doctor for a referral…do not suffer on your own…you do not have to be in mental and physical pain…there is help available.

January 30, 2012 by lorettelavine

POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION

Postpartum depression is a serious problem that can occur after having a baby…it can occur up to one year after delivery. Sometimes the signs and symptoms can just be an overall sense of anxiety and an inability to enjoy your baby. As a new mom, if you just don’t feel happy you can attribute it to many things especially lack of sleep and the many changes occurring over such a short period of time but you could be suffering from postpartum depression (PPD).

Personally, I did not experience PPD but there were days when I did not feel in control of all the responsibilities of motherhood. It was positively overwhelming. Back in the day…postpartum depression was somewhat overlooked and under treated. A new mom was made to feel like she ”just had to suck it up” and get it together. Fortunately, since them that attitude has changed and most obstetricians screen for PPD at the time of the postpartum check-up.

I thought that I would post a list of symptoms of postpartum depression. If you have more than one or two of these symptoms or are feeling generally depressed for more than two weeks you should check in with your doctor.

The symptoms of postpartum depression are the same as the symptoms of depression that occurs at other times in life. Along with a sad or depressed mood, you may have some of the following symptoms:

Agitation or irritability
Changes in appetite
Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
Feeling withdrawn or unconnected
Lack of pleasure or interest in most or all activities
Loss of concentration
Loss of energy
Problems doing tasks at home or work
Negative feelings toward the baby
Significant anxiety
Thoughts of death or suicide
Trouble sleeping

A mother with postpartum depression may also:

Be unable to care for herself or her baby
Be afraid to be alone with her baby
Have negative feelings toward the baby or even think about harming the baby Although these feelings are scary, they are almost never acted on. Still you should tell your doctor about them right away.
Worry intensely about the baby, or have little interest in the baby

via Postpartum depression – PubMed Health.

Christmas Reflections and Traditions

Posted on December 16, 2013 by llpitlwp

As Christmas approaches, I become more and more reflective.

My thoughts return to Christmas Past,

then move on to Christmas Present

and finally,

I try to glimpse at what might be Christmas Future.

Christmas Past:

christmas

As a grandparent, the past is chock full of memories of my own holidays as a little girl in NYC…Fifth Avenue magic, Rockefeller Center skating and THE TREE! My mother, brother and I shared our home with my grandmother. While my mom worked Nana, took hold of the home front, and created Christmas memories as only a grandmother can. She was a wonderful cook and loved the Christmas season. She brought with her a strong faith so the story of Christmas in our house always included the Christ Child along with a visit from Santa Claus.

As years went on, Christmas memories were made in my own home and with my own family. I tried to create the same feeling of Christmas the same way my grandmother had so many years before. My mother and uncle usually celebrated with us…they would come from Florida and enjoy brunch at the Ritz in Chicago, since we had all migrated from New York by then. Cookies were baked, the tree was decorated and stockings were hung. We were very fortunate to all be together. Many Christmas Eves, we attended midnight Mass in bitter cold but with warm hearts.

Christmas Present:

My husband and I are now the “older” generation and we happily celebrate Christmas with our family which includes, a grandchild. It is again been joyful as we are making new memories built on the old ones which included great-grandparents our granddaughter will never know. Our tree is in the same place it has been for the past 20+ years…it is decorated with ornaments that each tell a story of where our family has lived and traveled since 1977…New York, Florida, Chicago. It has 3000 lights, so in some ways it is my Rockefeller Center right here at home!

Christmas Future:

As an old year is coming to an end, I am looking at the future with of course some trepidations which come with age but they are soothed by the loving hugs of my granddaughter and the wonder and amazement that she brings to this house that has seen the footsteps of those who came before her.

The Christ Child is still here and Santa will soon ring his bells over our house. There is even a blanket of snow on the ground.

The presents still wait to be wrapped…and the best is yet to come!

Parenting in the Loop

Category Archives: Moms & Dads