Grief takes its Toll!

Posted on May 6, 2015 by llpitlwp

Grief leaves no one out!

Alone

This morning I was reading my notices and this one took hold of me. Losing someone close is a grief we will all know at one time or another. Most of us we will not have to share our loss in public like Sheryl Sandberg.

What never ceases to amaze me are the comments that crop up on Facebook. They are absolutely cruel and show no compassion or empathy for someone who has just lost their loved one.

This type of person, who feels free to utter such “rot” makes me sick. I know they are also suffering in their own way but why must they infect the comment posts on a post about the death of a loved one. Are there no limits?

Sheryl is suffering and trying to make sense out of a grief that she will have to work through for a long time both personally and with her young children.

My heart goes out to her as a human being experiencing one of life’s most difficult times.

“I want to thank all of our friends and family for the outpouring of love over the past few days. It has been extraordinary – and each story you have shared will help keep Dave alive in our hearts and memories,” she wrote.

Source: Sheryl Sandberg: ‘Unexpected hell’ of husband’s death is ‘darkest and saddest’ moment of my life – The Washington Post

Mom2Summit in Scottsdale

Posted on May 5, 2015 by llpitlwp

Mom2Summit

Last Wednesday, I made my way to Scottsdale, Arizona’s Phoenician Resort and my fourth Mom2Summit.

There is always something new to learn at Mom2.0 but the best part is the energy these young women, mostly moms, have and the love they have for what they
do in the world of social media and blogging.

Mom2Summit was all it was meant to be.

Kia picked us up at the airport and delivered us in style to the Phoenician resort in Scottsdale. It was my first ride in a Kia, my husband and I loved the ride and he even got to test drive a Kia during our stay.

Dove welcomed us with products and a beautiful book celebrating the curly haired girls. Dove has some fabulous new products for those of us with
natural curls…I am thrilled. Thank you Dove!

The first evening cocktail party was so beautifully sponsored by Breyers Ice Cream and In the Raw Sugar… outdoors on the lawn. But alas, jet lag and the Arizona heat overtook me so I joined my family for an early bedtime.

Happily, before my evening ended, I had already met a few of my virtual friends in person. It is always special for me to meet new friends at Mom2.0. There are just so many talented women and moms raising this generation of children …so inspiring how they are willing to support one another in social media and on blogs.

Sponsors are important to so many bloggers and it is interesting to see some bloggers make the most of their sponsor relationships without losing their own authentic voice. I also have utmost respect for those moms, who respect their children’s boundaries and privacy.

It isn’t an easy task to balance yourself and your values when you want to monetize your blog but it is so important in my eyes.

Daphne Oz spoke to a group that I attended. Actually, it was an interview with Katie Rami from ABC television in Phoenix. Daphne spoke about work/mom balance and how it is constantly evolving as her daughter grows. In October she will add a new baby to her family to challenge her already hectic schedule. She too discussed privacy and boundaries and the care that she takes now that people have begun to recognize her daughter when she is out and about in NYC. To me, Daphne seemed to have a good handle on her goals as a mom along with handling her mom responsibilities which is no easy task. She also spoke about lending her support to certain products and is careful to curate what she sponsors.

Thursday night, I attended a dinner with Beech Nut baby foods where I met a lot of moms and learned about a brand that my family has used for three generations. Beech Nut has listened to moms and now has a whole line of organic foods and textures for baby and toddler. These foods are so very tasty that we enjoyed them in billinis and in our salad dressing at dinner … delicious!

Friday was a day of so many great sessions. I wish I could have split myself to attend many more of them.That night was the Iris awards … It was a late night which
I was unfortunately not able to attend .

I was so happy to see the winners posted on Facebook, but truthfully I was able to predict some of the winners myself!

Congratulations to all the nominees and the winners!

My husband came to Scottsdale with me and was amazed to see the sheer numbers in attendance. I dubbed the two of us, Grandma and Grandpa Mom 2.0. He said there were just too many women for him. I will miss him at Laguna next year but I
I’ll be there to absorb some energy from this great group of women!

Thank you to all those who made Mom2Summit possible!

Pregnancy at 21 Weeks

Posted on May 2, 2015 by llpitlwp

Pregnancy at 21 Weeks

Wow…your baby is really growing and weighs in at around 3/4 of a pound and is now 10 1/2 inches long…the size of a carrot.

His kicks and movements are felt more at this point and a pattern of wakefulness may be experienced by you.

Your life now at 21 weeks pregnant:

You are probably feeling pretty good now so enjoy this time
If you have acne, increased oil production in your skin may exacerbate your break-outs. Wash with a gentle soap and check with your doctor before taking any oral acne meds as some can be hazardous during pregnancy. Even check with your doctor about topical products as well.
Varicose veins can appear now due to increasing pressure on your veins and increased progesterone levels. This can be hereditary so if other family members have varicose veins you may develop them also. Minimizing them … suggestions include, daily exercise, elevating your feet and legs whenever it is possible and sleeping on your left side…maternity support hose is also recommended.
Spider veins may appear also, these are not varicose veins, they do not cause discomfort and may actually disappear after your delivery.

Your baby preparation:

Start your baby registry
Suggestions: do not register for clothes, you will get clothing, friends and family love to buy these cutie things, do ask for big ticket items because friends and families like to join in on these gifts rather than clothes because they know you will need these things.

Is sex ever off-limits during pregnancy?
You’ll need to abstain if you have any of the following conditions or symptoms:

placenta previa
premature labor
vaginal bleeding
abdominal cramping
cervical insufficiency
a dilated cervix
your water has broken

You’ll also need to abstain if you or your partner has an outbreak of genital herpes or feel one coming on. Avoid intercourse and other genital contact for the entire third trimester if your partner has a history of genital herpes (and you don’t), even if he has no sores or symptoms. The same applies to receiving oral sex if he has oral herpes (cold sores). Finally, don’t have sex if you or your partner has any other sexually transmitted infection unless you’ve both been treated and follow-up testing was negative.

There are other situations in which your healthcare practitioner may advise you not to have sex.

via Your pregnancy: 21 weeks | BabyCenter

How I Found Out…

Posted on April 28, 2015 by llpitlwp

How I Found Out…

As many of you already know, my younger daughter, Adrienne is pregnant, expecting her first child. Our family is very excited to be welcoming another grandchild. In addition, I am overjoyed to welcome Adrienne to Parenting in the Loop. She will be writing about pregnancy and other topics as time goes on. Here is her first post!

I flew to Chicago with my husband on Christmas day. We were there to visit my family and attend a wedding of a good friend of mine from high school.

My husband, Rich, and I got a hotel room where the venue was held in the city. We went to bed late after the festivities and got into an argument… about what? I couldn’t tell you. That’s how important arguments are sometimes.

The next morning, we woke up on the earlier side. I needed to get back to the burbs for an MRI on my knee and hip for an injury and pain that hadn’t subsided for about six months. I had gotten very little sleep because I had to get up numerous times to pee in the middle of the night. I thought it was just from all of the water I consumed to avoid getting a migraine. Anyway, we drove back to the burbs and I dropped Rich off at my parents’ and headed off to the MRI with my mom.

After checking in and changing into a gown, I left my mom in the waiting room while I followed the tech. Before starting, I told the tech that I had not been on any birth control and that it would be the smallest chance ever that I would be pregnant. She insisted that I take a test and I agreed to put both of our minds at ease. So I proceeded to the nearest bathroom to pee on a stick.

I thought nothing of it as I sat back on the table and waited. I watched as the tech handled my test. She waited and then she walked away with it. That’s when I knew. I definitely had an “Oh shit” moment. That was when “I found out“.

The tech came over to me and told me there was a faint line but that it kept getting darker and that I was pregnant. She was very careful with her words because she wasn’t sure how I was going to respond. I told her that I had just gotten married in October and was happy. She seemed relieved and immediately ushered me out of the room and back to my mom. My mom glanced up from her magazine and as soon as she saw me I knew that I didn’t even have to say anything by the look on her face.

Excited with the results of my visit and somewhat relieved that I shared the experience with the tech instead of waiting for what seems like the longest three minutes in the world, my mom and I headed home. On the way, I called my dad to tell him so that he would hear what I found out from me first. He was super happy!

When we returned home, Rich was confused as to why I was back so soon. I took him into the guest room and told him privately. You never know how a man is going to react. He was so happy that he cried.

I never thought that the easiest part of pregnancy was going to be actually getting pregnant. I was on the cusp of turning 34 in January and have been underweight my whole life. I also never imagined that my happiness would soon turn into fear and heightened anxiety…after I found out.

TGIF – Weekend Reading

Posted on April 25, 2015 by llpitlwp

Weekend Reading:

Weekend Sunrise

Over 50 or not these are some good tips to follow in a confusing world of health advice. Aging is taking place no matter what year you were born, a simple fact. So when I came across this simple list I thought I would share it. I recommend this list especially meditation which you can teach to your children and grandchildren. Remember they are sponges when it comes to learning.

It’s easy to feel confused by all the healthy aging advice out there. Wine is good for you. Wine is bad for you. Take calcium supplements. Don’t take calcium supplements. At times, it seems like the “experts” really don’t know what they’re talking about. I can’t solve any of these debates. But, I can give you a few simple things that you can do to stay healthy after 50.

10 Tiny Habits That Help You Age Well | Margaret Manning.

Even when I was very young, I can remember not being able to shut down and easily relax except at the beach. The waves and sounds at the ocean always sedated me…the sun also helped.

How do you relax?

Where is your happy, restful place?

I am not one who can easily relax. Usually, I need a brick wall in front of me to make me stop (or a cliff will do fine, too). Adrenaline runs through my veins. I am continually creating and updating my to-do lists (or as I call them, my must-do lists) and the I-don’t-have-time-to-relax attitude often overtakes me.

News Moms Need-March of Dimes
burnout, caring for the caretaker, coping, delays, disabilities, mindfulness, Pregnancy, relaxation, rest, Special needs, stress, Stress awareness month, yoga

Routines have always been my fall back when things start to get overwhelming. When I was single living in NYC my puppy kept me on a routine of walking at certain times every day. We have always had dogs but the walking routine went by the wayside when we fenced in our yard. It was evident to me early in my parenting years that routine was a blessing for children and for us as parents. It helped to wind down our day with dinner, a story or quiet play before going to bed. On the nights that this did not happen, often chaos ensued.

What are your routines?

I’ve laughed at many a parent who said no to something fun because of nap time or a preference for an evening at home. But while I won’t turn down the fantastic, I have started to turn down the kind of fun that I know will turn a pleasant, routine afternoon into the family equivalent of a manic episode. It’s for their sakes and for mine; some days I know I won’t have the energy to wind down out of the sky a child flying high as a kite post-play date without it ending in tears.

via Defending the Family Routine – NYTimes.com.

The weekend has always signified a time to relax and renew for the coming week. Over the years it has morphed and become more and more busy. Even now as a grandparent, I find the Saturday and Sunday sometimes more hectic than weekdays of work or school activities.

We are poised for a bit of a deluge here in Chicago today…it could make for a hectic or quiet weekend. Let’s see…

Pregnancy at 20 weeks

Posted on April 24, 2015 by llpitlwp

Pregnancy at 20 Weeks

Yes! You are halfway through your pregnancy this week…and…

You have gained about 10 pounds.
You can feel the top of your uterus at the level of your belly button.
Be careful to get enough nourishment which includes foods with iron.
Iron helps your body keep up with your increased blood volume.
Foods with iron…red meat, dark meat poultry, legumes, soy based foods, spinach, prune juice, raisins and iron fortified cereals.
Time to start looking for childbirth classes-ask your friends or take recommendations from your practitioner.

What about your baby…he is growing, growing and …

Baby at 20 Weeks

He is approximately the size of a banana.
He is 10 1/2 ounces in weight.
He is 6 1/2 from head to butt or 10 inches head to toe.
He is swallowing and also producing meconium ( a black, gooey product of digestion).
Meconium will be his first stool, some babies pass meconium in utero or during delivery.

“I found it so much easier to sleep on my side when I hugged a pillow and wrapped my legs around it. In fact, two years after the birth of my child, it’s still my favorite way to fall asleep.”
– Clara

Your pregnancy: 20 weeks | BabyCenter.

“Oh But For a Good Night’s Sleep”

You might start snoring for the first time which is due to more estrogen and the swelling of the mucous membranes in your nose.

Remedy suggestion for snoring: Sleep on your side and elevate your head slightly.

Heartburn and indigestion may become an annoyance and make it uncomfortable to lie down.

Remedy: Avoid foods that bother you, eat two to three hours before going to bed and sleep slightly elevated with some extra pillows.

Leg cramps can literally be a pain which comes out of no where when you are sleeping.

Remedy suggestion: get out of bed and stand up or walk around a bit.

Just plain uncomfortable in bed these days…no comfortable position?

Remedy suggestion: Use some extra pillows between your legs or supporting your belly while sleeping on your side…you might even try a maternity contour pillow.

Feeling hot and sweaty during the night is not uncommon due to a shift in your metabolism, hormones and weight. Waking up soaking wet is one of my most vivid memories of pregnancy. My husband slept with a blanket and I slept with a fan blowing on me.

Remedy for hot and sweaty nights: Your bedroom should be cool and wearing sleepwear that is natural and made with breathable fiber, cotton is great but synthetics are not.

My friend and well-known blogger, Jessica Shyba at Momma’s Gone City, writes about some great, comfy sleepwear and other great things from one of her mom favorites Belabumbum. Jessica has four kids and a lot of great posts about family and fashion among other topics. Right now, if you click over to Mommas Gone City you will get a savings code for Belabumbum until Mother’s Day!

Pregnancy is a very special time that I am happy to be sharing with my younger daughter. She will be writing a post here next week…

TGIF- Weekend Reading

Posted on April 17, 2015 by llpitlwp

Weekend Reading…

Ahhh…the weekend is finally here and spring is not only in the air it is evident in the beautiful flowering trees and the blooming tulips and daffodils here in Chicagoland. Sunday we will have some April Showers, so it will be a great day to catch up on some reading…come join me.

This piece written by a mom really made me think about just how versatile and useful
“Siri” can be. Of course, there is no substitute for a relationship with a real life friend but for a child with autism, I think you can appreciate the value of having Siri as a BFF.

Just how bad a mother am I? I wondered, as I watched my 13-year-old son deep in conversation with Siri. Gus has autism, and Siri, Apple’s “intelligent personal assistant” on the iPhone, is currently his BFF. Obsessed with weather formations, Gus had spent the hour parsing the difference between isolated and scattered thunderstorms — an hour in which, thank God, I didn’t have to discuss them. After a while I heard this:

via How One Boy With Autism Became BFF With Apple’s Siri – NYTimes.com.

Sibling fighting can drive a parent to distraction and although there is good reason not to intervene most of the time, there is also good reason according to today’s literature to stop some sibling battles so they do not escalate into bullying.

Toddler Approved discusses this age-old problem and also does a review of a new upcoming book that I would love to read by Dr. Laura Markham, “Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings“. This book is available for pre-order and will be out in May.

Based on this information, my favorite tip to stop sibling fighting is to regulate myself as a parent! I need to be less reactive and more peaceful!

“The truth is we can’t make another human being do what we want. We can only help them want to.”

via Toddler Approved!: My Favorite Tip to Stop Sibling Fighting.

Sometimes a long weekend is a time for travel and there is nothing I can say about traveling with kids except that it can be difficult and even more so if a child has food allergies.

Many parents deal with this on an every day basis and coping with an allergic child on a plane where people are not so understanding can be a challenge, especially when your patience and coping skills are being tried to their limits. I love the “Scratch or Sniff” website and this piece is an example of why it is one of my favorite weekend reads.

This week, I suppose it might be helpful to share with you some of the steps I take to make flying with Z a safe experience for him. If you haven’t flown with your food-allergic child yet, hold on tight to these recommendations and know you’ll be okay!

Book with the right airline. If you haven’t booked your tickets yet, take a moment to review this comprehensive chart from Allergic Living magazine, which shares an in-depth report on the policies 11 major airlines have for working with food allergies. Follow the guidelines of your airline’s policy to get the most accommodation for your flight.

Via: Tips for Flying With Food Allergies

Okay then…have a nice weekend and stop to enjoy and smell the roses or whatever else it is that you are doing.

Spring has Sprung!

Your pregnancy at 19 weeks

Posted on April 15, 2015 by llpitlwp

Pregnancy at 19 Weeks

Baby at Nineteen Weeks Gestation

Pregnancy at nineteen weeks and how your baby’s growing

Sensory development continues, your baby’s brain is specializing.
Taste, smell, hearing, vision and touch are developing.
It is time to talk and read to your baby and play your favorite music as well.
Baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and is about 6 inches long from head to rump.
Vernix caseosa is appearing on his skin to protect him from the amniotic fluid
Hair is also growing now.

Your life is changing too:

You may notice that you will be growing faster in the next weeks to come. This may produce some achiness brought on by your round ligaments which support your uterus and its increasing weight and size. If you have pain that continues when you are resting or if it becomes severe consult with your practitioner.

Skin changes:

Palms of hands may become red from extra estrogen
Darkened skin patches (chloasma) may appear on your upper lip, cheeks and forehead (mask of pregnancy). This is caused by increased pigment in your skin which is temporary.
Protect yourself from the sun, which will increase the pigment changes, use sunscreen as well.

“I wasn’t sure if I could feel my baby moving, so a friend suggested I lie down for a while. After a few minutes, I started feeling a butterfly sensation in my lower abdomen. It was amazing!

– Linda B.

via Your pregnancy: 19 weeks | BabyCenter.

I can’t believe that we will be welcoming a new grandchild in the next 20 weeks or so. A new little one to love and cherish in our family. Those little feet and hands and those baby sounds and smells are just so precious. Waiting for a new baby…

Pregnancy at 18 weeks

Posted on April 10, 2015 by llpitlwp

Pregnancy at 18 Weeks

Mom-to-Be:

You may find that you are more hungry now during pregnancy…choose foods that are nutritious to snack on so that you are not gaining too much weight from sugary or salty favorites.

Larger clothes may be more comfortable as your waistline changes. In addition your cardiovascular system is changing dramatically to accommodate your growing fetus. Your blood pressure may be lower so try not to get up to fast from lying or sitting down as you might feel dizzy.

It will be better for you and baby to lie on you side when reclining or be at least tilted to one side. In a flat lying position your uterus can compress a major vein leading to decrease in the blood return to your heart. A pillow placed behind your or under one hip may help with positioning.

It might soon be time for a second trimester ultrasound to see how your baby is developing. They will check the placenta and umbilical cord and your baby may be sucking his thumb at this viewing.

“If you’re finding it hard to get through the afternoon at work without a little nap, find a place you can escape for 15 to 20 minutes (close your office door, use a conference room, even sit in your car). Bring a small travel alarm clock and set it for 15 minutes.”

– Laura

via Your pregnancy: 18 weeks | BabyCenter.

Baby growth:

Your baby is about 5 1/2 inches long
He weighs around 7 ounces…and is the size of a bell pepper
He is very busy exercising in utero and you will be feeling his movements more and more
Blood vessels are able to be seen through his skin at this stage of pregnancy
If you are having a girl the uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place, if you are having a boy, his genitals are visible although he may hide them on ultrasound
His ears are in place now and myelin is starting to protect his nerves

Mom’s Fitness:

If you are healthy and your pregnancy is normal you can continue to exercise, making modifications for your growing belly. Moderate exercise avoiding jarring motions, sudden changes of position and lying on your back should be okay. But always check with your healthcare provider.

If you have not been exercising you might want to begin gently with short periods, a few times per week. Walking is a good place to begin, many women enjoy swimming or yoga. Remember to check with your caregiver first.

Kegel Exercises and their importance during pregnancy:

What are Kegels?

Kegels are exercises that strengthen the muscles of your pelvic floor — the ones that support your urethra, bladder, uterus, vagina, and rectum. Kegels help prevent urine leaks during and after pregnancy and may even help you in the second stage of labor. What’s more, Kegels increase circulation to your rectal and vaginal area, so they may help keep hemorrhoids at bay and speed healing after childbirth if you receive stitches.

Here’s how to do them:

Tighten the muscles around your vagina as if trying to interrupt the flow of urine when going to the bathroom. Use a “squeeze and lift” technique, working only your pelvic floor muscles while keeping your abdominal and leg muscles relaxed. And be sure not to hold your breath.
Hold for about eight to ten seconds, then release. Do them in sets of ten, and try to work up to three or four sets a day.
via Baby Center

Your pregnancy is almost half over and baby is developing steadily. Second trimester is a great time to get things done as you should be feeling pretty good.

I am so happy to have had a little vacation with my daughter this past week. She is more relaxed during the past few weeks of pregnancy. I am lucky to enjoy this time with her.

TGIF-Weekend Reading

Posted on April 3, 2015 by llpitlwp

Weekend Reading:

Sunshine

Spring Break has come to Chicago. As we approach this holiday weekend of Easter and Passover, family time takes over. Many of us will be enjoying food, and visits with relatives and friends as we celebrate and relax and spend some “quality time” with each other.

………………………………………

Parenting and boundaries…do you embarrass your kids or do you shame them on Facebook or even in your blog? As parents, we probably should learn some boundaries when it comes to “talking” to or about each other on social media.

We as parents do terrible things to our teens all the time. Our fashion humiliates them, we hold their hands in public or try to kiss them goodbye in front of friends. These are hurtful actions to our teens who are sometimes awkwardly maneuvering into adulthood while trying on different hats. Sometimes it’s slow and plodding, sometimes it’s at breakneck speed but always it is a path they are attempting to make for themselves and though we’re invited along for parts of the ride it’s appropriate for us parents to stand back a little and let them explore their worlds.

via Parenting In Public – Jessica Gottlieb A Los Angeles Mom.

I love cooking but on any given day it can be a challenge putting dinner on the table. As a young parent, I definitely had more energy to accomplish this task, but as a grandparent it has become difficult with maintaining weight management and making healthy choices for three generations in the meal planning. I really related to this new mom, who wanted to have home made dinners but cooking was no longer a relaxing time for her in the kitchen.

This became a habitual meditation — imagining my pre-baby dinner routine every time I sat down to feed my baby. Cooking had been my relaxation habit for years, the chop-chop-chopping of onions and the swirl of oil in a pan my fragrant, rhythmic ritual for slowing down after a hectic day. I loved it, and the memory of it calmed me when I needed to be patient with my fussy eater.

via Rekindling a Love for Cooking With Subscription Meal Kits – NYTimes.com.

“Quantitiy vs. Quality Time” is always a parenting discussion. Do you use weekend time as quality, quantity time?

As an exhausted parent who doesn’t get enough time to work out, who hasn’t seen a grown-up movie for months, and who wishes that date night were an actual night rather than an idea, I understand why so many of us might seize on studies suggesting that we should take more time for ourselves. Perhaps we should. But we should do so without relying on misleading research. Far better that we make our parenting choices informed by the broader set of more reliable studies, which Ms. Kalil summarized for me as suggesting “that when parents spend high-quality time with their children, their children are more likely to succeed.”

via Yes, Your Time as a Parent Does Make a Difference – NYTimes.com.

Of course, you can’t have those transcendent moments unless you’re together — to some small extent, quantity begets quality. And that’s where this research should come back to reassure parents. We are spending time with our children, particularly when you look, not at one bad day, but at a week, a month, a year, an entire childhood spent together. When we are questioning ourselves, we tend to look not at the cumulative sum of our time, but at what we fear we’ve missed. We don’t need to spend every minute with our children, or every minute engaged in intense togetherness. The time we spend apart (sleeping, working, studying, building blocks, playing sports, staring into space) brings something to our interactions, too. It’s time to look at our family calendars as half full, not half empty.

via Quantity Time Begets Quality Time, and Parents Spend Enough of Both – NYTimes.com.

Hoping that you all have a restful, enjoyable weekend!