Category Archives: Family

What are you doing for Grandparents Day!

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Happy Grandparents Day!

I came across this blog post about grandparent bonding and it reminded me that today is Grandparents Day!

Fortunately for us, everyday is grandparents day in our house!

I really believe that it is the responsibility of the grandparents to remain as close as they can with their grandchildren.

By that, I mean staying in touch, making phone calls and planning visits.

I have witnessed families where grandparents feel they should be “kowtowed” to, in my opinion this does nothing to encourage a loving, supportive relationship between grandparent and grandchild.

So if you are a grandparent ….today is a day to celebrate.

Do this anyway you wish but include your grandchildren in your own special way!

Win a Back to School Gift from Hallmark!

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There is nothing like little surprises and my grandchild loves them as much as I do.

Hallmark Cards has just the cutest items to surprise your child during lunchtime.

Many years ago, when my own girls were young, I was working and left home before my girls got up for school. I tried very hard to somehow connect with them prior to their leaving   for school or while they were in school.

I always left them breakfast and for lunch I would use a cookie cutter to shape their sandwiches into “heart” shapes. Every now and then I would leave a handwritten note.

Then, when they both went to “sleep away” camp I had to depend on “snail” mail to deliver, cards, letters and packages. It was fun choosing from companies that specialized in camp baskets designed for kids away from home, who were not allowed to have candy and food items in their cabin….not easy!

As school reopens….I find myself along with my daughter trying to make lunch not only healthy, but interesting and fun. It is an opportunity to share a moment during the day to say something special to a sweet little girl starting out in the world.

Here are some of the fun “Back to School” Hallmark items that I found to help make my grandchild’s lunch a memorable moment of her day at school.

Enter the contest below if you would like to win these items in a Back-to-School Gift Pack from Hallmark!

 

Win It!

I get to give one Back-to-School Gift Pack to one of you! To enter, tweet the following and leave me a comment letting me know you did:

Tweet “@LoretteLavine I want to win the @Hallmark Back to School Gift pack.

Extra Entries:

Follow ParentingintheLoop on Facebook
Follow Hallmark on Facebook
Follow LoretteLavine on Twitter
Follow HallmarkCards on Twitter

Leave one comment per task letting me know you did, or already do.

Sweepstakes run from today, September 7 until  Saturday Night September 9th

I was not compensated for this post. I was given product for review and giveaway. All opinions are my own.

There is no winner for this gift pack from Hallmark as there were no comments or tweets related to this post.


 

“Toast Tuesday”

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My “toast” today is to kids’ lunches…the parents that make them and to The Stir.

“Hey Mom…Whats for lunch?”

Labor Day Weekend is all but over… happily, we have already made a school lunch for the first day….it is in the fridge!

Just came home from dinner with friends….the “last summer supper” as we like to call it, I opened up my FB page and saw this wonderful video with “My Plate” Guidelines.

In honor of  tomorrow, the first day of school, I knew it had to be shared. The link contains some  fab school lunch ideas and the guidelines are the easiest.

Kids deserve something delicious, healthy and interesting at lunch don’t you think?

These are not even over the top ideas.

Just have a little fun and be creative or let the recipes be creative for you.

What are you serving for lunch on the first day back to school?

School lunches and snack time stress me out. There. I said it. We are about to go back to school, and at my house, that means five days a week, for my two kids, I need to pack lunches that consist of more than just turkey thrown in between two slices of bread, and snacks other than pretzels. I know I can be more creative than that, and I truly want my kids to eat better than that. Plus, I am really into following the new MyPlate Guidelines, which recently replaced the food pyramid I grew up with but never paid any attention to to help make sure my kids learn to eat balanced meals.

via White House Chef Schools Us on Healthy Lunches VIDEO | The Stir.

Healthy Eating with Kids in the House

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This NYTimes article speaks to me…

Many days I prepare food for my family.

As a grandmother, I am concerned about having a balance of foods for my preschool grandchild. Children need a certain amount of fats, and carbs that my husband and I can definitely do without.

We all deserve a trip to the ice cream shop once in a while but summertime makes ice cream frequently a desirable dessert destination. When we are in New England …there seems to be ice cream shoppes on every block…fresh homemade flavors topped with childhood memories…truly tempting and too often indulged in.

One of my favorite comfort foods is pasta…any kind served with marinara sauce. I enjoy regular semolina thin spaghetti or linguine. It just happens that the rest of my family loves this meal as well but they also want meatballs which is not a big deal and very delicious.

Recently, I have found a pasta that suits me and my husband ….it is Barilla Plus…and I have to say, I find it tastier than whole wheat pastas, many of which I find just not a suitable replacement for regular pasta. Barilla Plus has bridged this gourmet gap, at least for me.

But back to kids’ foods. My grandchild enjoys a good mac’n cheese and so do I. More often than not, I am tempted to eat her leftovers…more calories, carbs and fats. Not so good for my waistline or my cholesterol levels.

What is a conscientious parent or grandparent to do? It is not an easy answer…for me it is will power and a constant effort not to become a garbage pail.

My guidelines:

  • Do not share your child or grandchild’s food or snacks
  • Do not clean a child’s plate by eating the forbidden foods yourself.
  • Make a selection of foods and serve them at the stove so parents eat more protein and less potatoes.
  • Choose a lower fat soft ice cream or frozen yogurt if you must indulge at the ice cream shoppe.
  • If you head for fast foods get a salad for yourself and don’t share your kids’ food

Much easier said than done, especially when I have made crepe style pancakes with maple syrup, fresh whipped cream and berries for breakfast. Believe me, when I say it is next to impossible not to indulge.

This summer the scale has not been kind to me and I know it is because I am snacking and eating when I should not be.

I am reminded of a time years ago when my teenage niece lived with our family. I began snacking with her after school…she was an eighth grader who enjoyed Ramen noodles every day. It was a habit she had developed after living in Korea for a few years.  It became a new habit for me. She also enjoyed Snickers  another love of mine. Daily, I joined her in an afternoon binge as we discussed her school day. Then a few hours later we would sit down to dinner with two preschoolers and my husband.

It did not take long for me to start gaining weight. I stopped snacking with her and all was well my weight returned to “normal”.

This time around, as a grandmother, it is not so easy to shed the pounds. As fall approaches and school re-opens maybe my daily diet will return to normal and some of the summer weight will disappear with vigilant eating habits and some more exercise.

Do you find yourself eating more like your kids and grandkids?

How do you balance your adult diet with what is healthy for your kids and grandkids?

Disclosure:

All food opinions are my own, any brands mentioned are personal choices. I was not compensated for mentioning any particular brand in this post.

Dads Often Find It Difficult to Eat Healthy – NYTimes.com.

Toast Tuesday!

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Toast Tuesday!

This Tuesday, I am going to simply pick a blog post that I like.

We are currently inundated with “back to school” posts so this one caught my eye as one that deals with another mom moment.

What about the mom who is going back to work after having a baby?

This is a very emotional moment and those feelings are captured so well in this post from NewParent.com.

Returning to Work After Maternity Leave | New Parent.

What was your experience when you returned to work after having a baby? How did you deal with your feelings?

 

 

Blog Boundaries, Where Do You Draw the Line?

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Volleying Back and Forth with Comments

BLOGGER BOUNDARIES

This past week I have been following Christine Coppa’s blog on Babble.com. Christine’s blog is one that I have “toasted” to in my Tuesday posts.  One of her recent posts has stirred up a lot of her reader, me being one of them.

As you may know, I am a clinical social worker, a maternal child nurse and a blogger. I have worked with families and children for over 35 years. Since I began blogging, I have been reading many blogs written by moms, Christine’s blog being one of them.

Some of these moms write for Babble.com and other blog groups. They write from their perspective and many are personal. Some topics are of course more controversial than others and generate more interest and comments.

More than a week ago, Christine Coppa wrote a piece about whether parents should split the costs of a birthday party. What followed in the comments violated my idea of boundaries. Many of the comments were totally unrelated to the initial discussion. They were commenters’ personal feelings towards the father of Christine’s son, who for his own reasons chooses not to recognize his son. One commenter bashed Christine and her family in uncalled for ways.

For whatever reason, Babble’s editors chose to support Christine’s wish to keep these comments on her site even though they stated that their policy is to not publish hostile comments.

There were a handful of comments including my own that felt this line of commenting was not only unpleasant but that it could be potentially harmful to Christine’s 5 year old son in the future. It was said in several comments that this kind of back and forth “slinging” of angry words would be better kept private.

Needless to say for various reasons this was Christine Coppa’s most viewed Babble blog. I am not sure what that says, after reading most of the comments which had nothing to do with the original topic. To me it was an airing of dirty laundry, which generated the popularity of this post and at whose expense?

I have often thought about boundaries when it comes to airing one’s life on a blog and it seems that it gets even more complicated when you are getting paid to do so and it involves a young child.

I  also do not find it appropriate when the blogger/writer gets hostile in her own comments. I lose respect for the writer at that point especially where a young child is concerned. The comments that were made with concern for JD and the effect this might have on him in the future were met with anger although I did see some acceptance of the comment from a lawyer who deals with families in conflict. One of my comments was not even published and I am not sure why.

I also sent a message to Babble via their Facebook page asking why they did not uphold their own policies in this case especially where a young child is involved. I have gotten no response so far.

Are numbers of readers so important to a blog that a child’s boundaries are all but ignored?

Do you think that boundaries are important for mom/dad bloggers who discuss personal family issues? Do you have concern for the possible long range effects of this type of blog on children?

I would be happy to hear your opinions?

NOTE:

I will continue to support Ms. Coppa’s blog even though I disagree wholeheartedly the way this comment section was handled. I am disappointed in the Babble editors decision.

8/20/2012

http://blogs.babble.com/kid-scoop/2012/08/09/should-parents-split-the-birthday-party-fee/

I visited the link above and the very hostile comments have been removed from this particular post at “Kid Scoop”. Without these comments, it will be difficult to fully appreciate what I wrote in the above post.

I am glad that the comments are no longer able to be viewed.

 

 

 

Week in Review….Parenting in the Loop

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Summer Sailing

Happy Friday everyone…here in Chicagoland, it is going to be a very pleasant weekend…a great one for the Air and Water Show! It is one of the summer events that always is amazing!

Here are my pick reads for one of the last summer weekends before school reopens and we start to feel the presence of Fall creeping up to greet us.

 

Getting your mojo back is critical for your quality of life so it’s cause for some radical changes and the outright shattering of your own conventional wisdom. Face it – feeling passionate and motivated every day for your work, family and self is a win for yourself and those that depend on you.

I always want to make more time for important stuff like paying attention to family and having time for what is meaningful…don’t you. It is nice to see that others have the same difficulties getting things done to make room for family fun.

I love this site. It has great little ideas for moms and grandmothers…you can follow on FB, Twitter, Pinterest or receive e-mails. Worth a look!

My long time dream is to shop for food like I did when I was a single city dweller in NY or similar to Europeans in Paris or Rome. Shopping for fresh ingredients each day and making a dinner from my imagination is truly just that …a dream! But this shopping cart bag makes me think of perusing small fruit and vegetable stands, and visiting the butcher, baker and candle stick maker. What about you? What is your dream when it comes to preparing dinner.

“Thank You”

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Yo Gabba Gabba Live

“Thank you”.

How many times a day do you actually say ,”Thank you”?

Who do you routinely say , “Thank you” to?

Teaching a child to say “Thank you” is something all of us have done at one time or another…it is usually coupled with learning to also say, “Please”

In fact, as I write this I am reminded of a singalong on Yo Gabba Gabba, the sole purpose of which was to impress on a young one the importance of these words and of being polite.

During any given day there are so many opportunities to say, “Thank you”. I try to take advantage of them. Saying, “Thank you”, helps to validate the other person and it helps me to focus on what that person has done for me. no matter how small or mundane.

It always irritates me if I hold a door open for anyone and they do not acknowledge me with a simple, Thank you”. In fact, I usually snarl at them and say a big “THANK YOU” out loud so that they can hear me as they walk on by ignoring my gesture. I sometimes wish that I could let the door slam on them. Just telling the truth and saying that these moments really piss me off! (I try not to do this in front of a child)

I spend a fair amount of time with my grandchild and am trying to teach her the basics of politeness. Reminding her to say, “Please” and “Thank you” is a daily constant. But these reminders are basically meaningless if I don’t use the words appropriately so that she can mimic me.

Really, we always hear ourselves when little ones are playing in their make believe world. How often do we hear them say, “Thank you”.

How often do these little ones say, “Thank you” without being prompted?

In the link below, Caitlin Kelly writes about, “Thank you” and happens to make an observation about President Obama and his sometimes apparent lack of gratitude. Whether true or not it is not flattering to be perceived as ungrateful no matter how “big” or “small” you are.

(I am not making a political statement here just an observation from another writer. So please do not focus on this as a political statement. It is used just to make a point.)

What do you think about how we teach our children and grandchildren politeness? When do you tell them to say the words, “Thank you”?

Thank you for reading, I appreciate it and I would love to hear from all of you.

Saying “Thank you” « Broadside.

Yo Gabba Gabba

TGIF…

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Hi everyone,

I have been absent this week because I went back to work as a renal social worker…just for the week.

Covering vacations is always a challenge but it also gives me a chance to help out and work together with a great group of colleagues.

Dialysis patients are a very special group. One of their major needs is to have someone just listen to them. Listening is really an art and to be honest I enjoy it and I am good at it.

Someone, who has a chronic illness,I have learned, feels like they are carrying around a 50 pound suitcase all the time.

Kidney failure demands a lifestyle change… three times a week a person in kidney failure must sit in a chair connected to machine for 3 – 4 hours while their blood goes through a machine to be cleansed of all impurities that their kidneys used to remove without them even thinking about it.

Now, without dialysis they will die.

I am always amazed at how different people handle this type of a diagnosis. Initially, there is a period of disbelief that their kidneys have failed…there is also a period of accepting the fact that dialysis will be necessary for the rest of their lives or until they have a transplant.

This news is usually devastating for the End Stage Renal Disease (ESRD) patients and their families.

Kidney failure knows no age boundaries.

I have seen a young woman in acute renal failure due to taking massive doses of ibuprofen prior to her realizing she was pregnant.   Her kidneys completely shut down …fortunately her kidney function slowly returned and she delivered a healthy baby.

We have children on dialysis too. For various reasons, kidney failure also affects babies and until they can receive a transplanted kidney they have to have dialysis treatments as well.

After this week…I am experiencing “compassion fatigue”.

When I returned to the dialysis center…some of the people with whom I had a relationship were dead…a few of them were old and their bodies weary from illness but a few were young, one was a mother of a teenager.

My heart ached for them and their families. The chairs where they sat have new dialysis patients sitting in them as the cycle of life goes on in the dialysis center.

On the upside…one of my patients, whose transplanted kidney failed, received a new kidney. He is a young dad, whose wife died a couple of years ago from complications of kidney failure.

I love my work…and am happy to help, but this Friday I am grateful to come home to my family and grandchild.

I look forward to this weekend and am thankful to get back to my regularly scheduled programming

 

 

 

 

Moments of Solitude

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Solitude at Sunrise

Summer reading seems to be a luxury these days…time just seems to get away from me .

So I have taken to downloading my favorite summer book on my Kindle i-phone app. This allows me to read almost anywhere.

It is not ideal but it has been working for me so far…

When I catch a free moment waiting in an airport or in a doctor’s office I can flip to Gift from the Sea and enjoy a few pages. It is usually enough to calm my pace.

A couple of weeks ago, I shared my love of Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s timeless book with all of you.  I am wondering if anyone has taken my recommendation and picked up a copy of this wonderful memoir?

Just this past week, I found myself searching the beach for the shells from her pages. Shells for me are little treasures of the sand…you never know what you are going to find.

My walks provided me with some needed solitude and shells to remember those moments. I now have a welk, a sunrise and a moon shell.

Anne uses the welk as a metaphor to explain solitiude. Solitude is something we all seem to need but cannot quite get enough of.

If  you are like me…solitude does not come easy . Actually solitude has a way of making me feel lonely rather than at peace with myself…

Peacefulness with oneself is not necessarily a natural feeling. It takes quite a long time for me to enjoy being by myself.  In fact, I don’t really enjoy being anywhere alone. I am truly a “city mouse” and when I am in a city walking and people watching I am most happy. Essentially, I am alone, surrounded by strangers.

I am somewhat jealous of Anne Lindbergh’s contentment at the beach alone…she says that it does take her time to wind down and settle in…maybe I have just have never taken the time out to settle in to a state of solitude.

For some reason, I don’t feel safe when I am alone on a beach, on a street or even in an elevator. For me there is safety in numbers.

I feel safe with my husband, family and friends.

To some extent, I can feel alone when I am with people and that is where I find some of my moments of solitude.

Where do you find your moments of solitude? What is your solitude like?

I would love to hear what provides moments of solitude for you!