Weekend Reading from Parenting in the Loop

Weekend Reading

Weekend

Martha’s Vineyard Fourth of July

It is already the Fourth of July weekend…and it has hardly felt like summer at all because of cool temperatures and mega amounts of rain so far here in Chicago. The sun is shining today and it promised to be a sunny Saturday with great fireworks weather.

Picnics and outdoor fun sometimes help us to forget some of the things we need to do to keep ourselves and family safe from food poisoning and food disasters. Here are some tips for a safe Fourth Weekend.

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Food on the Fourth–safe eating tips

Foodborne illness can be extremely dangerous—especially for pregnant women and young children. Symptoms, such as vomiting, diarrhea and fever, can become life-threatening.

So if you will be celebrating the 4th of July with family, friends, and a cookout, remember to keep foods fresh and safe. Here are some important safety tips:

 

“It only takes a second”…how many times I have read that statement and spoken those words. Many years ago I was standing at the Top of the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco with my daughter in between me and my husband. We both admired the view at exactly the same moment. When we looked down at our daughter she was not there and no where in sight! The elevator doors were just closing and my heart was skipping many beats at the same moment. It seemed like an eternity but it was only a second later that I heard her voice saying “hi”…”hi” and I realized that she was walking throughout the bar greeting all of the people who were having drinks and enjoying the gorgeous view. Yes…it only takes a second for catastrophe to happen. Summer and pools and beaches are so much fun for everyone but it only takes a second to change that into a horrific event. Keep your eyes on your children around water no matter what. “It only takes a second”

Fullers Beach MV

The day my 2-year-old son almost drowned before my eyes.

Since my daughter and her husband are expecting their first child in the near future they are discussing cord blood banking and its importance. We are so lucky to live in a time when this is an option. Cord blood and stem cells have the potential to save a life. It is an important discussion to have and an even more important decision to make before delivery.

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Every expectant parent deserves to know the power of the stem cells contained in their baby’s umbilical cord. Leading organizations have come together to present Cord Banking Basics, a source to help expecting parents make informed decisions about what to do with their babies’ stem cells.

My sincere wishes for a happy and safe Fourth of July Weekend!

Weekend Reading…My Favorites

Weekend Reading…My Favorites

Weekend Sunshine and Sand

I have a summer reading list but many summers it carries me over into fall. The last time I read all the books on my summer list was on Martha’s Vineyard probably around 15 years ago.

Primates of Park Avenue is a book I will put in my beach bag this summer based on this NY Times review.

 

If “Primates of Park Avenue” never quite manages to be either the satire or the tell-all I’d hoped for, it did manage to be exactly the kind of book I want in my summer beach bag. I put it down a little unsatisfied, but willing to recommend it in spite of its flaws. “Primates” is, in the end, exactly what it purports to be: a book about the lives of mothers in a small subset of wealthy families that offers a little insight into all of our choices, and a lot of entertaining appreciation for choices most of us don’t have to make. If you think you’d enjoy the spectacle, you’re probably right. I did.

As you know I am a clinical social worker and am all about feelings, so this Pixar movie is definitely on my list to see on an upcoming weekend. Children do experience difficult emotions and parents sometimes try very hard to stem these negative feelings because to them it means their child is not happy all the time and this suggests failure of the parents to create an idyllic childhood.

 

In Pixar movies, inventive plots, engaging characters and stunning visuals come as no surprise. But the best thing about the studio’s newest production, “Inside Out,” may be its commitment to celebrating the worst.

 

Life with Dad is one of my new favorite blogs and podcasts. I met Ryan E. Hamilton, a founder of Life with Dad at Mom 2.0 Summit and regret I did not get to talk with him longer. Dad bloggers are some of the best and you are missing something if you don’t know any of these great bloggers. So take a look at Bobblehead Dad Parenting and Life with Dad this weekend.

Bobblehead Dad Parenting
Posted on June 26, 2015
Current research confirms that there are numerous health benefits attributed to laughing including lower blood pressure, increased tolerance to pain and – most importantly – a reduction in stress. As parents, a better understanding of the value of laughing – for ourselves and with our children – can be one more tool to living a happy, healthier life. Children laugh a lot. About 300 to 400 times a day! The average adult laughs about 20 times a day! We’ll talk about the causes and implications of that dramatic reduction over a typical life. We’ll also discuss: How simulated laughter provides the same benefits of spontaneous laughter Why you need to integrate more laughter into your family’s life How to do a DIY Laughter Festival! The results you will enjoy if you lighten up and use some humor in your daily interactions How laughter can be a bonding element between a parent and child What you can do if you don’t think of yourself as a “funny” person So stick around. This promises to be a fun time! References from this Podcast: Dr. DeBenedet’s website

 

 

The Weekend is my favorite time…sometimes it is relaxing sometimes not so much.

But take time to breathe and relax and renew!

CIMG0021

 

Weekend Review Reading Selection

Yay it’s the weekend! Sailing into Summer…

My weekend is a precious time for me and my family. I try to stay away from screens although with a blog it is difficult not to maintain some daily presence on social media. One thing that I enjoy in particular is Friday night dinner with friends. It is a time to relax and unwind for Papa and me where we can kick back and be ourselves while enjoying some good food that I don’t have to prepare.

Another favorite thing for me to do on the weekend is cook with my granddaughter when she is at our home. Sometimes we make sweet things, other times savory. We love to eat homemade pizza on Saturday and sometimes have movie night.

I also love to read so here are some of my suggestions.

Summer Weekend

Sailing into Summer

Since I recently had shingles, I found this very interesting. Luckily for me it was a mild case but since it was on my face and close to my eye, it gave me a great amount of initial anxiety and concern. One thing I can say is if you develop a rash of any sort and you have had chicken pox then you need to see your doctor right away so he can check it out and prescribe an anti-viral medication to keep the virus from spreading. The sooner the better in the case of shingles.

 

Shingles, kids and pregnant women – know the facts Many pregnant women have written to us expressing concern about being exposed to a family member who has shingles. Usually it is their parent or grandparent, or another older adult who has the virus. However, did you know that children can get shingles, too?

Source: News Moms Need » Blog Archive » Shingles, kids and pregnant women – know the facts

While I am happy that Caitlyn Jenner has raised the transgender discussion to a new level, personally I find it difficult to put my thoughts into the right words. So I have relied on reading many of the more serious articles concerning the transgender topic. Certainly we as women can relate to this particular article as a important aspect of transgender dignity.

 

People who haven’t lived their whole lives as women, whether Ms. Jenner or Mr. Summers, shouldn’t get to define us. That’s something men have been doing for much too long. And as much as I recognize and endorse the right of men to throw off the mantle of maleness, they cannot stake their claim to dignity as transgender people by trampling on mine as a woman.

 

Source: What Makes a Woman? – NYTimes.com

How do you read people you come in contact with on a daily basis? This is kind of a fun article which will test your ability to read people’s emotions. Try it out and then use your ability this weekend.

If you are among those people who are mystified by moods, new research offers hope. A new study shows that certain types of reading can actually help us improve our sensitivity IQ. To find out how well you read the emotions of others, take the Well quiz, which is based on an assessment tool developed by University of Cambridge professor Simon Baron-Cohen.

 

Source: Can You Read People’s Emotions? – NYTimes.com

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Don’t forget to stop and smell the flowers!

3 Must Reads This Weekend

3 Must Reads this Weekend

Weekend Fun at Fullers Beach Martha's Vineyard

Secondary Drowning and How You Can Save Your Child

There is nothing like a summer weekend for family fun times. Water safety is something we should all be aware of especially during this time of the year.

Water is fun but it can also be dangerous. If your child falls in or has a water incident and displays any of these signs it could be secondary drowning which can happen in even 1/2 inch of water.

  • child is not acting like himself
  • he is lethargic
  • he is coughing even after the event is over
  • his lips changed color
  • he has a change in his breathing

These can be a sign that he has water in his lungs and needs immediate medical help. Call 911 immediately.

Click the following link for a video on CPR for children.

 

Source: What Is Secondary Drowning And How Can You Prevent It :: YummyMummyClub.ca

Flying with Baby

Traveling with baby on a weekend getaway can be trying at best. Here are a few tips that just might help you as you get ready to board a plane with your little one.

  • Crying At High Altitudes-This is stressful for you more than other passengers even when they give you dirty looks. Sucking on a pacifier, nursing or feeding your baby a bottle might ease the pressure on his ears.
  • Ear pain– Again this is experienced by some babies and not others. If your baby has a cold and you are going to travel you might want to have your pediatrician take a quick peek at his ears to make sure he does not have an infection.
  • Noise level- The decibel level in the plane may be upsetting to your baby, using small  pieces of cotton to cover your baby’s ears may help him fall asleep through the noise.
  • Flying with Baby – HealthyChildren.org

9 Signs of Mean Girl Behavior Warnings

No one wants their daughter to be a “mean” girl. Here are some 9 signs that might be the beginning of trouble.

  • She is bossy
  • She is always making threats
  • She forms clubs to exclude other kids
  • Click the link to read the rest: Is Your Daughter a Mean Girl

Happy Weekend from ParentingintheLoop!

TGIF-Weekend Reading

Weekend Reading

 

Memorial Day Weekend

Martha’s Vineyard

Are you getting ready for a long weekend and the beginning of the Summer season by finding a beach read?

I do love the beginning of summer. But, in my opinion, anytime is a time for reading, especially when you have a few extra hours to devote to relaxing and catching up.

So here are some short articles for you to peruse in the next few days when you get that minute!

Music

Do you hate listening to all those kid CDs in the car or even at home? Then this article might help make your music more appealing to your children. It may come in handy if you are taking a road trip this holiday weekend.

You don’t have to listen to kiddie tunes even though you have a kid. Check these out.

Depression News

Having depression is serious. Most of us, at sometime in our lives, have experienced a feeling of being down or depressed. The recent findings from a study done in England are quite astounding. Depression can cause a shorter life expectancy due to changes in our DNA.

The good news is this, the process is more than likely reversible. There is evidence in studying mice that were stressed and showed the same DNA changes as humans who were depressed. The mice improved when they were removed from the stressors. The mice actually recovered from the stress. The mice cells literally returned to health. This is wonderful news about depression and its possible treatments.

Depression has always been seen as a mood disorder to those who haven’t experienced it and sometimes, even those who have don’t understand the science behind the way depression affects your brain. New research has come to light showing that depression can change your DNA and change the way in which your cells generate energy.

 

Working Moms

It seems that everyone has an opinion over what is better for kids, a working mom or a stay at home mom. It is one of the topics that continues to ignite the mommy wars. This is an interesting article discussing the positive side of having a mother who works.

 

Nearly three-quarters of American mothers with children at home are employed. That fact doesn’t necessarily make it any easier for mothers to drop a toddler at day care or miss school plays. The mommy wars might seem like a relic of the 1990s, but 41 percent of adults say the increase in working mothers is bad for society, while just 22 percent say it is good, according to the Pew Research Center.

Memorial Day Weekend is here. I hope you enjoy it. Let’s honor our military.

TGIF – Weekend Reading

TGIF Weekend Reading

Weekend moments in the sand.

Moments in Sand

I love my Canadian blogger friends. These suggestions for a fun filled holiday weekend is just a sampling of what you will find at Yummy Mummy Club.

Flower Power Make a trip to your local garden centre so you can create a cascade of rainbows in your yard by planting colourful flowers.

 

Source: Ten Ways To Celebrate The Victoria Day Long Weekend :: YummyMummyClub.ca

These two styles of parenting have been news worthy recently. What style are you? I fall somewhere in between. Here are the “facts” from NYTimes.

1. What are Free Range and Helicopter Parenting? Free Range and Helicopter Parenting are two different and opposing parenting styles that illustrate what happens to a flourishing post-industrial society with excess leisure time. This also explains why “The Bachelor” is in its 19th season.

Source: Free Range vs. Helicopter Parenting: Get the Facts – NYTimes.com

New York City was my home when Etan Patz disappeared as he was going to school one morning. I have never forgotten his story nor have I ever forgotten Adam Walsh, who disappeared from a store in South Florida while I was living there with small children. I became a helicopter parent then and there.

It is there in the quick steps of a woman hurrying up the street in Brooklyn, muttering to herself, “I’m a good parent, I’m a good parent.” She was regretting letting her son run home alone from a restaurant and was rushing to catch up with him. It is there in the childhood memories of a girl who grew up always looking over her shoulder. She would become a mother telling a cautionary tale to her own children. The one about the little boy who left for school one day and was never seen again. It is there in the father who remembers, as a boy, the room going silent when the news anchor Roger Grimsby gave his nightly update on the search. Today, that father says he always has “an eye in the back of my head.”

Source: The Legacy of Etan Patz: Wary Children Who Became Watchful Parents – NYTimes.com

A lot of clouds here this morning…we will have to make our own sunshine this weekend!

TGIF – Weekend Reading

Weekend Reading:

Weekend Sunrise

Weekend Sunrise

Over 50 or not these are some good tips to follow in a confusing world of health advice. Aging is taking place no matter what year you were born, a simple fact. So when I came across this simple list I thought I would share it. I recommend this list especially meditation which you can teach to your children and grandchildren. Remember they are sponges when it comes to learning.

 

It’s easy to feel confused by all the healthy aging advice out there. Wine is good for you. Wine is bad for you. Take calcium supplements. Don’t take calcium supplements. At times, it seems like the “experts” really don’t know what they’re talking about. I can’t solve any of these debates. But, I can give you a few simple things that you can do to stay healthy after 50.

Even when I was very young, I can remember not being able to shut down and easily relax except at the beach. The waves and sounds at the ocean always sedated me…the sun also helped.

How do you relax?

Where is your happy, restful place?

 

I am not one who can easily relax. Usually, I need a brick wall in front of me to make me stop (or a cliff will do fine, too). Adrenaline runs through my veins. I am continually creating and updating my to-do lists (or as I call them, my must-do lists) and the I-don’t-have-time-to-relax attitude often overtakes me.

  • News Moms Need-March of Dimes
  • burnout, caring for the caretaker, coping, delays, disabilities, mindfulness, Pregnancy, relaxation, rest, Special needs, stress, Stress awareness month, yoga

Routines have always been my fall back when things start to get overwhelming. When I was single living in NYC my puppy kept me on a routine of walking at certain times every day. We have always had dogs but the walking routine went by the wayside when we fenced in our yard. It was evident to me early in my parenting years that routine was a blessing for children and for us as parents. It helped to wind down our day with dinner, a story or quiet play before going to bed. On the nights that this did not happen, often chaos ensued.

What are your routines?

 

I’ve laughed at many a parent who said no to something fun because of nap time or a preference for an evening at home. But while I won’t turn down the fantastic, I have started to turn down the kind of fun that I know will turn a pleasant, routine afternoon into the family equivalent of a manic episode. It’s for their sakes and for mine; some days I know I won’t have the energy to wind down out of the sky a child flying high as a kite post-play date without it ending in tears.

The weekend has always signified a time to relax and renew for the coming week. Over the years it has morphed and become more and more busy. Even now as a grandparent, I find the Saturday and Sunday sometimes more hectic than weekdays of work or school activities.

We are poised for a bit of a deluge here in Chicago today…it could make for a hectic or quiet weekend. Let’s see…

TGIF- Weekend Reading

Weekend Reading…

Spring Weekend

Ahhh…the weekend is finally here and spring is not only in the air it is evident in the beautiful flowering trees and the blooming tulips and daffodils here in Chicagoland. Sunday we will have some April Showers, so it will be a great day to catch up on some reading…come join me.

This piece written by a mom really made me think about just how versatile and useful
“Siri” can be. Of course, there is no substitute for a relationship with a real life friend but for a child with autism, I think you can appreciate the value of having Siri as a BFF.

 

Just how bad a mother am I? I wondered, as I watched my 13-year-old son deep in conversation with Siri. Gus has autism, and Siri, Apple’s “intelligent personal assistant” on the iPhone, is currently his BFF. Obsessed with weather formations, Gus had spent the hour parsing the difference between isolated and scattered thunderstorms — an hour in which, thank God, I didn’t have to discuss them. After a while I heard this:

 

Sibling fighting can drive a parent to distraction and although there is good reason not to intervene most of the time, there is also good reason according to today’s literature to stop some sibling battles so they do not escalate into bullying.

Toddler Approved discusses this age-old problem and also does a review of a new upcoming book that I would love to read by Dr. Laura Markham, “Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings“. This book is available for pre-order and will be out in May.

Based on this information, my favorite tip to stop sibling fighting is to regulate myself as a parent! I need to be less reactive and more peaceful!

 

“The truth is we can’t make another human being do what we want. We can only help them want to.”

 

Sometimes a long weekend is a time for travel and there is nothing I can say about traveling with kids except that it can be difficult and even more so if a child has food allergies.

Many parents deal with this on an every day basis and coping with an allergic child on a plane where people are not so understanding can be a challenge, especially when your patience and coping skills are being tried to their limits. I love the “Scratch or Sniff” website and this piece is an example of why it is one of my favorite weekend reads.

This week, I suppose it might be helpful to share with you some of the steps I take to make flying with Z a safe experience for him. If you haven’t flown with your food-allergic child yet, hold on tight to these recommendations and know you’ll be okay!

Book with the right airline. If you haven’t booked your tickets yet, take a moment to review this comprehensive chart from Allergic Living magazine, which shares an in-depth report on the policies 11 major airlines have for working with food allergies. Follow the guidelines of your airline’s policy to get the most accommodation for your flight.

 

Okay then…have a nice weekend and stop to enjoy and smell the roses or whatever else it is that you are doing.

Spring has Sprung!

TGIF-Weekend Reading

Weekend Reading:

Weekend Light

Sunshine

 

Spring Break has come to Chicago. As we approach this holiday weekend of Easter and Passover, family time takes over. Many of us will be enjoying food, and visits with relatives and friends as we celebrate and relax and spend some “quality time” with each other.

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Parenting and boundaries…do you embarrass your kids or do you shame them on Facebook or even in your blog? As parents, we probably should learn some boundaries when it comes to “talking” to or about each other on social media.

 

We as parents do terrible things to our teens all the time. Our fashion humiliates them, we hold their hands in public or try to kiss them goodbye in front of friends. These are hurtful actions to our teens who are sometimes awkwardly maneuvering into adulthood while trying on different hats. Sometimes it’s slow and plodding, sometimes it’s at breakneck speed but always it is a path they are attempting to make for themselves and though we’re invited along for parts of the ride it’s appropriate for us parents to stand back a little and let them explore their worlds.

I love cooking but on any given day it can be a challenge putting dinner on the table. As a young parent, I definitely had more energy to accomplish this task, but as a grandparent it has become difficult with maintaining weight management and making healthy choices for three generations in the meal planning. I really related to this new mom, who wanted to have  home made dinners but cooking was no longer a relaxing time for her in the kitchen.

 

This became a habitual meditation — imagining my pre-baby dinner routine every time I sat down to feed my baby. Cooking had been my relaxation habit for years, the chop-chop-chopping of onions and the swirl of oil in a pan my fragrant, rhythmic ritual for slowing down after a hectic day. I loved it, and the memory of it calmed me when I needed to be patient with my fussy eater.

“Quantitiy vs. Quality Time” is always a parenting discussion. Do you use weekend time as quality, quantity time?

 

As an exhausted parent who doesn’t get enough time to work out, who hasn’t seen a grown-up movie for months, and who wishes that date night were an actual night rather than an idea, I understand why so many of us might seize on studies suggesting that we should take more time for ourselves. Perhaps we should. But we should do so without relying on misleading research. Far better that we make our parenting choices informed by the broader set of more reliable studies, which Ms. Kalil summarized for me as suggesting “that when parents spend high-quality time with their children, their children are more likely to succeed.”

Of course, you can’t have those transcendent moments unless you’re together — to some small extent, quantity begets quality. And that’s where this research should come back to reassure parents. We are spending time with our children, particularly when you look, not at one bad day, but at a week, a month, a year, an entire childhood spent together. When we are questioning ourselves, we tend to look not at the cumulative sum of our time, but at what we fear we’ve missed. We don’t need to spend every minute with our children, or every minute engaged in intense togetherness. The time we spend apart (sleeping, working, studying, building blocks, playing sports, staring into space) brings something to our interactions, too. It’s time to look at our family calendars as half full, not half empty.

Hoping that you all have a restful, enjoyable weekend!

TGIF Weekend Reading

Weekend Reading:

Weekend in Spring

Despite the weather here in Chicago this weekend, I keep thinking Spring…soon…wait for it!

Meditation is not difficult to learn and practice. For me it has been a journey over many years through my own pregnancies and it continues as a grandmother. You can do it for a moment or you can do it for an hour. I hope you find time to try it for yourself…maybe even this weekend.

 

 

From stress reduction to improved attention and memory, meditation is a practice that yields a large number of health benefits. Mediation has slowly been gaining in popularity in recent years, garnering a number of scientific studies to determine the specific effects the practice has on the body. It has been found that meditation and other forms of relaxation and mindfulness not only change the immediate state of mind, but also alter the actual structure of the brain.

 

What is the “Grandparent Deficit”? When you have children later in life the chance of them having “vibrant” active grandparents changes and many times diminishes. I feel somewhat on the cusp of this as a grandparent myself. I want to do so many things with my grandchildren but I find sometimes my energy level just cannot always meet my expectations.

 

She and my two daughters are among a growing number of kids who will see their grandparents primarily as people in need of care rather than as caretakers. They are the leading edge of a generation whose mothers and fathers had children later in life. They’ve seen us juggle our jobs, their school schedules and their grandparents’ needs simultaneously–one day missing work to be at the bedside of a parent who’s had a bad fall, another day trying to call an elder-care aide from the back row of a dance recital.

This link appeared in my feed this week and it took me by surprise that a Lego Magazine would incorporate something like Emma’s Beauty Tips into its pages. What do beauty tips have to do with Legos? Well, see for yourself how this mom felt when her 7year old daughter became concerned about the shape of her face! YIKES!

 

My 7-year-old wants to know if she has an oval face. Why? Because “oval faces can often have almost any style haircut because almost everything looks great on this face shape!” Her sudden concern with her hairstyle “looking great” comes courtesy of her new Lego Club Magazine, which included “Emma’s Beauty Tips” in the March-April 2015 Lego Club Magazine.

 

The weekend remains precious to me. Sometimes, I am able to recharge by having dinner with friends along with great conversation…other times I am able to grab a few extra hours of sleep or reading. Whatever it is you do on the weekend, I hope you make a little time for yourself.