Swim Safety is so important at all times but especially in the summer months.
Drowning is the second most common cause of death from injuries among kids under the age of 14. Drowning can happen so fast — sometimes in less than 2 minutes after a persons head goes under the water. That leaves very little time for someone to help.
My children were taught to swim to the side of the pool and tread water when they were barely walking because we lived in Florida at the time and pools were all around us.
Of course “waterproofing” a child is no guarantee that he or she will not get into trouble around a pool…and here is a true story.
One evening while living in South Florida, one of our friends came home from work to greet his family. His five year old son, nonchalantly said,
“Hi Daddy, Jimmy is at the bottom of the pool”…
Our friend went into panic mode…ran to their screened in pool area, dove into the water to bring his limp 3-year-old son to the surface and immediately give him CPR.
Fortunately, it was just in time…and his son responded to his resuscitation efforts. Luckily, dad was a physician and knew how to respond…but at that moment he was a panicked father too.
Not all stories of accidental drowning end with a successful resuscitation. Timing is everything.
Leukemia is the #1 cause of death by disease in children, and, although commonly thought of as a childhood disease, is diagnosed ten times more often in adults.
As you know, I live in Chicago (area) and every year at this time there is a race that benefits Leukemia research in honor of Jim Gibbons, a beloved ABC news reporter here in the city of “Big Shoulders”. He died of leukemia in the prime of his life.
This year, I was amazed when I listened to the race reports and learned that leukemia is still the # 1 cause of death by disease of children.
As the news reports echoed in the background…
a sudden a flood of memories came flowing through my head. I was a student nurse at NYU…it was my very first pediatric patient .
His name was Jeffrey, he was four years old, with a beautiful head of dark hair and the most captivating smile … he had AML…leukemia. The year was 1971 at Mt. Sinai Hospital in NYC.
He had been in the hospital for quite awhile, his mother and father stayed with him most of the time.
as I remember…he had his own little room with his very own gum ball machine.
Weekly for a whole semester I took care of him, bone marrow tests, blood draws, chemotherapy and losing his precious hair. He wore a Yankees baseball hat when he went out for a walk through Central Park with his mother or grandmother.
Another student colleague of mine was also assigned to him. Between us we gave him as much love and attention as we could and we supported each other knowing that his prognosis was grave.
In class one morning, my friend Rosemary told me she had been working the night before, when Jeffrey died…
four years old, he had spent almost 1/4 of his life at Mt. Sinai Hospital and lost his battle with leukemia. It was my first blow with the death as a nurse.
I cried for his mother, father and little sister and I cried for myself…
we could not save this precious little boy from this horrible disease.
His mother sent me a gracious note…I cherished it for a long time, with it she sent along a key chain…
a remembrance of Jeff…he had unlocked a part of my heart as a young nursing student…
I still have that key chain and it has been constantly in use over many years and many moves. It hangs on a hook in my home with the key to my house, my heart and the memories of a little boy, who would be around 45 years old today …if we could have saved his precious life.
His mother had another little boy, I learned from my friend Rosemary…
I wonder how life turned out for them…I wonder if Jeff’s mother knew how much I loved her little boy with the bald head, the Yankees hat and the beautiful smile…who stole my heart so many years ago.
I read this post yesterday and it made me sad and angry.
Today, I am listening to the Penn State sexual abuse scandal being reported in the morning news as the Sandusky trial is beginning to get under way… so many thoughts are running through my head.
As a social work and nursing student, I saw more child abuse/sexual abuse than I ever wanted to witness. It was very sad and disturbing. At that time in my life, my feelings of sadness did not overwhelm me because I was involved in caring for these little victims. But today, as I write the words “little victims” it feels like a knife is stabbing me in the heart.
These “little victims”are innocent children until an ” adult” robs them of the feeling of safety. Some are robbed of their innocence by other “children” such as cousins or friends who are not technically “adults”. Sad…very sad.
My own mother was “molested” as a young girl in the 1920’s in Brooklyn, NY…she was doing an errand for her own mother, when a shop keeper exposed himself to her. That event affected my mother, my grandmother, me, my children and on and on…
I was warned of stranger danger as a young child…as early as I can remember…my grandmother told me to tell her of anything “strange” and to be careful on my way to and from school. In the 50’s and 60’s we walked to school through a large park in Yonkers, NY. Parks were places where “things” could happen…”caution and be aware”…all warnings from my grandmother.
When my own girls were young…I suspected even parents of their schoolmates …I know this is sick…Right? But when my kids would repeat some “off color sexual” jokes that their “school mates” would recount after hearing these jokes supposedly from their parents, the hair would stand up on the back of my neck.
As a young mother, I remember being keenly aware of situations that made me uncomfortable, while at the same time trying not to alarm my kids. I was always trying to keep communication open….not easy…believe me.
Now… I have been talking mostly about girls…nothing is to say that boys are not equally at risk for child molestation. My thoughts are that Penn State has certainly brought this into the forefront or has it? Some of my young therapy patients were young boys who were molested by their fathers, grandfathers, uncles, cousins or their mom’s friends. Some of these molestations were covered up by moms, who, for various reasons, refused to believe what their children were telling them … denial…at its worst.
Child molestation causes ripples that keep going and never cease, just like the ripples of the tide on the shore.
Sometimes, the ripples will become tidal waves and do some irreparable damage…other times, the ripples will just quietly erode the beach, seemingly without notice.
My hope is to support people like Meghan, who share their stories and provide a place where others can also share how certain “life” storms changed the flow of their lives forever.
What kind of reading do you do with your toddler/preschooler during the summer months?
The unstructured time during the “dog days” of summer can leave reading behind the many fun outdoor activities. After surviving winter’s “cabin fever”, it is totally understandable to head outdoors any chance you can get. But it isn’t necessary to leave reading to rainy days…a book, a child and a shade tree make a pretty neat scene…don’t you agree?
The local library is always a resource and can provide a quiet, cool respite…even bookstores like Barnes and Noble have story times…but then you may have a struggle leaving without making a purchase. This can be problematic…and could make the excursion a disaster in the end.
I have come across a virtual summer book club for kids…it sounds like a winner!
The choices of books for this month are among some of my favorites, reason alone for me and my grandchild to participate.
For various reasons, book clubs are not for everyone but certainly this one offers some ideas to help create your own reading program at home.
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I need all the helpful creative idea suggestions that I can get. As a grandmother it has been awhile since I have done pre-school summer reading! Admittedly, I welcome the challenge.
“Tangled” maybe a great Disney Movie about Rapunzel, but at home with a preschooler “tangled hair” is a nightmare. On vacation it can even be worse.
My goals managing “tangled” hair go way back to my own person problems with coiffed curls that would never quite cooperate.
No pain
Brush or comb every day
No “bed head” outside of the house except in emergencies
Be satisfied with less than perfection when a pre-schooler is involved
Recently…like last night, I came across this… “a tangled hair post”.
Personally, I intend to try out some of the suggested products to make my life as a doting grandmother and my granddaughter’s life more pleasant went it comes to hair creations!
I am wondering what other suggestions you might have…when it comes to “Tangled” in your home?
Keeping it Clean
Circle of Moms member Jyothi J. has a good answer to this dilemma. Her secret is keeping her child’s hair very clean; dirty hair seems to be more resistant to tangling in the first place. Many moms recommend looking for shampoos and other hair care products that are chemical-free or formulated to be gentle for kids, who might get them in their eyes.
As summer vacation is about to begin our children and grandchildren will have some days that will be free and easy without much of a structured schedule. That is a beautiful time for parents, grandparents and kids to do some fun spur of the moment activities.
Free time is wonderful in many ways. It is such a good opportunity to play using your imagination. I find too much structure can dampen a child’s natural imaginary play. For me it is all about balance…structured planned activities mixed with activities that push the imagination…the outcome of this can be amazing.
Sometimes it is a stretch for me to get my imagination to wake-up. Having a grandchild is a blessing…allowing he/she to take control of certain aspects of an activity can really stimulate the creative juices.
I am going to try to incorporate a little imagination each day in the ordinary-
Food creations – This can start with breakfast..make pancakes and let everyone decorate their own with fruit…lunch creations… make a picnic…let everyone help put together the picnic basket with foods from each food group…dinner creations…decide a menu together and make it together, again using the food groups.
Exercise – This one is a little harder for me as a grandparent… but balls are a great way to get kids to run around and bubbles are fun also.We get a lot of mileage out of both of these in our yard… if we get the dogs outside it is even more fun.
Reading – Story reading is quiet afternoon activity for us… when it is too hot to be outside. Sometimes, we make up our own stories looking at the pictures that we took that day or old photos from Christmas or other holiday. Picture taking is so easy these days…I try to make the most of it!
Summer is a wonderful time to have some fun…all you need is your imagination and your child or grandchild!
What are some of your summer activities with the kids in your life?
This video and post could be one of the most important ones that any parent reads or watches, especially if you ever have to take your baby or child to an emergency room.
We all know that Emergency Rooms are not all created equal… and that is something that should concern any adult who takes a sick baby or child to a hospital in an emergency situation.
Why???
Apparently, there is no standardization for how equipped an ER needs to be when it comes to caring for children. Sadly, this can prove and has proven fatal for some babies and young children.
I have recently learned about the R Baby Foundation and it mission to save babies lives by improving pediatric ER care.
I hope you will read about this Foundation. Baby R’s story is heart wrenching. It is my hope that Baby R’s parents are able to derive some solace knowing that they are helping to make life saving health care available to all babies and children.
Our Mission
R Baby Foundation is the first and only not-for-profit foundation uniquely focused on saving babies lives through improving pediatric emergency care.
R Baby Foundation is dedicated to ensuring that babies, including those in the first month of life suffering from viral infections and other infectious diseases, receive the highest quality of care and service through supporting life-saving pediatric training, education, research, treatment and equipment.
I’m a pediatric urologist, and here’s my response to the parents of Izabella Oniciuc, the famous potty-trained 6-month-old: I know you are excited about your precocious pooper, but watch your daughter closely, because she may be headed for trouble.
Potty training is and has always been a topic up for discussion…after potty training two girls of my own and helping with my granddaughter, I feel comfortable saying that each child is different.
My statement, that each child is different in and of itself, is not earth shattering, But if you deeply believe that every child is unique it is my opinion that potty training will viewed as more of a natural process without the pressure that some parents feel with all the well meaning advice that they read and hear.
I think that this particular article has a lot to say to parents about some of the ideas that are ‘floating’ around potty training.
“My son wasn’t trained until he was 3.5 and it just clicked. My daughter is 3 and is giving me a hard time, but I have a feeling it will be the same way. Rest assured, they will not be going off to school still wearing diapers, so I don’t push it. There are more important things in life to stress over.”
Tantrums are not easy to deal with…even though you love your child and grandchild to the moon and back!
During a tantrum you might want to send them to the moon!
It sometimes can seem that they are possessed by something or someone when having a tantrum…but who or what has set this usually charming child into an uncontrollable rage?
We have experienced our share of tantrums in our house…and what I have learned as a grandmother I only wish that I knew as a mom of two children less than two years apart in age.
There is always one or two events that stand out in the family tantrum history…one was my own memory of tearing a newspaper to shreds when my working mother told me she had not brought me home anything from work that evening. I was not so much spoiled as I was unhappy that she forgotten about me. I was left alone until I calmed down and the paper was completely shredded.
With my own kids…the sentinel tantrum was one at the entrance to the Miami Zoo when my younger daughter did not want to go and see any animals. She was around 3 years old. We were hoping to have a family outing on a very hot Miami day.
I recall trying the old standby…”bye, we are leaving…you can stay here if you want”. Is that wishful thinking on the part of parents during a horrible tantrum.
Of course, nothing worked until she was ready to put her anger aside after what seemed an eternity. We then visited a pond where the resident Koi made us all laugh as they fought over food that visitors were encouraged to throw into theirwater. It was the Koi version of ‘Hunger Games“.
Usually temper tantrums and anger in children is induced by stress. Young children do not know how to handle stress and do not have the verbal skills to explain why they are so upset.
Even if they try to tell a grown up …commonly it is about something that many times parents do not have patience to listen to nor attempt to understand.
I am no different. At least I wasn’t when my kids were young.
Anger in children often comes from stress. Yes. Stress is part of a child’s life as much as it is a part of an adult’s life. Teaching a child how to handle stress is one of the best things we as parents can do for our children. A healthy dose of stress actually builds resilience …and optimism. At the same time, parents must also be aware that anger is a sign of child anxieties. There are ways to address child anxieties.
The most important thing to keep in mind when you’re faced with a child in the throes of a tantrum, no matter what the cause, is simple and crucial: Keep cool. Don’t complicate the problem with your own frustration. Kids can sense when parents are becoming frustrated. This can just make their frustration worse, and you may have an escalated tantrum on your hands. Instead, take deep breaths and try to think clearly. via Temper Tantrums.
Dr. Karp’s advice is simple and easy to follow. It is called the “fast food rule“
Follow the Fast-Food Rule. This rule is simple: When your child is upset, you should take a lesson from the order-takers at a burger joint — always repeat back his “order” (what he wants) before you tell him your “price” (what you want). Toddlers who are in the middle of a meltdown are incapable of hearing our message (our reasons, reassurance, distraction or warning) until they’re sure we understand and respect their message. So when your tot is upset, before you mention your ideas, take a minute to sincerely describe what he’s doing and how you think he feels.
Janet Lansbury who writes her own blog has this to say to a mom regarding tantrums. In this particular situation there is a ‘new baby’ that a toddler is trying to accept.
Don’t feel responsible when your daughter doesn’t get her way and falls apart…. What she needs most of all (especially right now) are confident, stable, unruffled parents who project calm in the face of her storms (and the freedom you are giving her to have them).
Clarify the situation and make a plan. During more peaceful moments together, talk about life after new baby. Give her details about the changes that will occur, an imagined play-by-play of the day with the new baby. Be honest and realistic. Toddlers are way too perceptive to believe any whitewashing, and that won’t help her feel settled. Tell her that although you will be very busy taking care of the baby and not be available for her all the time, you’ll make sure she always gets what she needs (through daddy, grandma, etc.). Tell her that you two will have some special time together each day and maybe once (or twice) a week a special outing that she picks.
Then, later, when you are busy with the baby and she’s upset you can say to her calmly and confidently, “I know you want me to do such-in-such with you now, but I can’t. I know it’s hard to wait, but we will have our time together in an hour (or whatever). I’m looking forward to it.” She may have to keep testing that limit until she is certain you will hold your ground.
If you can make the outings work, I highly recommend them, even if you can only give her a choice between a walk down the street and a half-hour outing to the park. It’s not about what you do (or even the amount of time), just about being together. From my experience, those little one-on-one dates with your big girl will be very special, just the way dinner dates with a husband feel extra special once you’ve become parents.
Encourage her to process the feelings. Another thing to do in peaceful moments together is to check in with her about her feelings. The goal is not to get her to label them, but to assure her that anything and everything she is feeling is normal, expected, perfectly all right. You might put it this way, “When children have a baby brother or sister they have all kinds of feelings.
Last week, I blogged about sleep and our resident 3 year old. I thought that I should report on our progress.
Well, most nights we have done okay…after all is said and done she has usually been asleep by 8:30pm…not bad, right?
We have not been too rigid in our routine and it works sort of like this…
We begin bedtime routine at around 7pm … going upstairs and either a bath or washing up and toileting.
Books are chosen…we try to stick with only one book but I have to admit sometimes we vary and read two or three short ones.
Mama, Nana or Papa usually rock with her for about 5 mins…sometimes more but never less, (sometimes I fall asleep).
Into bed…hugs and kisses…
Sometimes, I return to the rocker for 5 more minutes and then leave the room with her asleep or almost .
I have to admit it was easier when she was an infant and before she learned the art of procrastination.
Back then, it was a bath…quiet time…with her toys on the bedroom floor and a picture book.
Into the crib with lights out and some music playing…she would talk to herself and then off to sleep …
We were always listening on the monitor from the comfort of our own room…
With summer fast approaching and the evenings beckoning for more time outside, this routine will undoubtedly be disrupted and refined to include trips to the ice cream parlor and to the park…I cannot wait!
Sleep schedules will always be somewhat fraught with issues but we will roll with the changes…
