Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on February 6, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Welcome back!

Do you play catch up on the weekend? This weeks pics are short and sweet to read while you take a much needed break from the weekday routines.

Baths…are they really necessary every day for kids? What is the routine in your house? Do you wash your child’s hair every time they shower or take a bath? I never really thought about this too much but it must be a topic of discussion so here are some guidelines.

My grandmother told me that back in the day Saturday night was bath night and their tubs were in the kitchen because they had to heat their own bath water on the stove. That was tenement living in NYC in the early 1900’s.

Contrary to popular belief, babies don’t need daily baths, according to Laura Jana, MD, spokeswoman for the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). It’s not until they begin crawling around in sandboxes and other places, and start eating solid foods, that they get dirty enough to merit a full-body wash. “Bathing is really necessary only to clean your child off when she gets dirty,” pediatrician David Gellar, MD, told BabyCenter.

Source: Do Kids Really Need a Bath Every Day? The Great Debate

How do you promote creativity in your children and grandchildren? This week I read that kids are better off with lots of arts and crafts in their play space than a bunch of toys. I would not argue with that except there are definitely toys that creative while being fun. I am thinking about STEM ‘toys’ in particular robots like Dash and Dot, and Legos. How does your weekend stack up when it comes to creativity?

Re “How to Raise a Creative Child” (Sunday Review, Jan. 31): What Adam Grant says about the relationship between freedom and creativity is so true. But now I fear that the tiger moms and dads will decide that they can mass-produce creative children merely by cutting back on rules and letting their children follow their hearts. I would argue that the sources of creativity are deeper than that: Creative children tend to have creative parents who encourage and value creativity in their offspring.

Source: On Freeing a Child to Be Creative – The New York Times

This is a great short article about kids and money and the effects of managing it even at an early age and keeping the conversations about spending alive as the years go on. A very worthwhile read even for adults who have money/materialism issues.

Children are ever-changing beings, but when it comes to money and materialism, too many parents think that their older offspring are not malleable at all.

Here are the 6 Steps:

Foundation
Conversation
Wants and Needs
Keeping Score
Money Mentor
Keep Money Conversation Alive with Children During the Years Ahead

Source: Six Steps to Curb Materialism in Your Kids – The New York Times

Okay…now I know this is Super Bowl Weekend, so enjoy if you that is your thing. I like the commercials and the snacks! What about you?

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on January 30, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Saturday mornings are usually busy ones, for that matter so are Sundays but they are are a welcome change from the weekdays because work is not part of the schedule.

How does you weekend look?

Do you give yourself a chance to relax?

It is so important for your over all well being that you do take time out.

What do you do to unwind from the busy week?

I used to like to shop when I had a free weekend day… browsing stores and checking out new fashion, make-up etc was a way for me to relax. That is really a luxury that I now do once in awhile during a free weekday. Most of my shopping is done online these days. I love my virtual friends whose sites curate fashion, tech, books, and must-haves of all sorts. I find they all help me save time when it comes to shopping and researching the best buys.

I am sure you know the saying “if it is too good to be true then it is not true”. That is what I think about when I read any advertisement. Babble has found some parenting items that although too good to be true are really truly great items. Check them out. Which one is your favorite? I like more than one!

bottle-top-adapator

But my point is, I am fully behind parenting products and technologies that improve our lives, help protect our children, or frankly, just give me a few minutes of peace and quiet. Which is why I’m really looking forward to incorporating a few of these too-good-to-be true parenting products into my motherhood game.

DNA tests for diets? A Keurig for formula? Car seat alerts to your phone? The future of parenting has arrived.

Source: 12 Parenting Products That Seem Too Good to Be True | Babble

This is an election year and it is a difficult one with the primaries coming up this week. I found this book fascinating and helpful at the same time. Is it time for Hillary or not and why not? Check out my sponsored book review of “Love Her Love Her Not The Hillary Paradox”.

weekend reading

How do you feel about the former First Lady’s bid for the Presidency? Do you want to know what other women think and feel about her candidacy?

If you do then Love Her, Love Her Not – The Hillary Paradox edited by Joanne Cronrath Bamberger is the book for you.

Source: Hillary…The Woman… The Mom…The President

To most of you it is no surprise that I love being a grandmother. I do not have a “secret life”. My priorities are fixed in this order God, Family, Work.

Do you have a secret life? How do you feel about ‘babysitting’ and childcare? I would love to hear from you.

The Secret Lives of Modern Grandmothers

Chicago is going to be warmish this weekend…40’s. I know…it is all relative. In LA that would be freezing but here we think and actually feel warm.

No matter what your weather, take time to enjoy the view!

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on January 22, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Do you know what the “growth mind set” mean? I wasn’t quite sure but this post explains the emphasis on learning not just the goal. Do you agree?

That’s far from the real message of the research surrounding the growth mind-set. The exclusive focus on effort has been misplaced, says Dr. Dweck, whose book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” delivered the phrase into popular culture. The emphasis should be on learning as an active process, not a goal. “We’re not just saying ‘effort’ anymore,” she says. “We also talk about using good strategies and getting help from others.” Part of a growth mind-set is being willing to learn how best to learn. “Parents may be familiar with the growth mind-set, but they may be using it toward the goal of the next test grade or school application. That’s not what it is. It’s about learning and improving and loving the process. Those other things come about as a byproduct.”

Source: ‘Nice Try!’ Is Not Enough – The New York Times

As we get older it is harder to make “people connections” . There are some things that can help with the feeling of being lonely. Gretchen Rubin has some suggestions in this post which is helpful to keep from being lonely even if you are alone. This is a great read for those stuck inside this weekend during “Snowmaggedon2016”.

One major challenge within happiness is loneliness. The more I’ve learned about happiness, the more I’ve come to believe that loneliness is a terrible, common, and important obstacle to consider.
Source: Lonely? 5 Habits to Consider to Combat Loneliness. | Gretchen Rubin

As a clinical social worker I am in love with the concept and theory known as the “Good Enough Mother” developed my Winnicott. Our failures actually help our kids. You will enjoy this post.

Each time we let our children down, and they get through it, they get just a little bit stronger. That is the gift of the good enough mother, and it’s time we all embrace it.

Source: The Gift of the Good Enough Mother | Seleni Institute

This weekend here in Chicago we are escaping “Snowmaggedon2016”. I have to say that I am happy about our weather even if it has been bitter cold. This week we have been in a deep freeze with a smattering of snow almost every day. After many years here in the midwest it is still something that comes along with winter that I could definitely do without.

I hope that all of my friends and everyone in the East stays safe this weekend during this horrible blizzard. It is not just the snow accumulation it is the wind and storm surge along the coastline that makes this storm so dangerous.

Please be safe and warm everyone!

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on January 15, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

My pics this week are from the New York Times. Motherlode always has some really great posts and is a blog that I catch up on during my weekend. I follow many blogs and bloggers, there are so many good ones on all kinds of topics. Once I start reading it is hard to stop sometimes. It is my way to binge!

These three are my favorites this week. I hope you get a chance to read them during this long weekend.

Last fall, I tried adding another question to the mix: Can I get cash for this? Online consignment stores and what essentially amount to used clothing buyers, particularly for designer goods, began popping up in my Facebook feed, promising to help me “reclaim the value” in my closet — and, I soon discovered, my children’s closets as well.

Source: Get Paid to Organize Your Children’s Closets (and Yours) – The New York Times

Dearest Parenting Experts, What advice do you have for dealing with feigned incompetence in previously capable, competent children? When a student suddenly regresses, claiming they can’t complete skills I know they have mastered, or when a child suddenly loses the ability to do the laundry, say, flailing his boneless, ineffectual arms about as he jabs at buttons on the washing machine, wailing all the while that he can’t possibly do laundry; it’s too hard.

Source: When Children Say ‘I Can’t,’ but They Can, and Adults Know It – The New York Times

Over the last few months, researchers from Pew have been looking at parents, teenagers and the Internet. They’ve looked at how teenagers live their lives online, and how they feel about that new (to adults) arena. Now, in a newly released report, the researchers are exploring what parents and teenagers say about how parents monitor teenagers online and, perhaps more interestingly, how they don’t

Source: Parents Monitoring Teenagers Online, and Mostly, Getting It Right – The New York Times

If you have a three day weekend because of the Martin Luther King Holiday take some time to reflect on what this day means to you and your family.

Posting family pics on social media? Please protect them from thieves!

Posted on January 13, 2016 by llpitlwp

Social Media and Your Family Pictures

With parents using social media sites to post family photos, do they need to worry about the photos they’re sharing being taken? The short answer: yes.

This is such an important question to ask yourself if you share family information online.

Source: Post family pics on social media? Here’s how to avoid having them stolen

Pictures of kids on online can be used by others without your knowledge. If that is surprising to you then you need to read this link from a mom whose family pics were used without her permission.

Protecting my photos does concern me even if none of them contain pictures of my family. They are my photos and my property even on social media. But understanding the internet the way I do makes me constantly vigilant like a protective animal keeping their ‘babies’ out of harms way. I am always aware of unethical users who are slithering around the web looking for photos to use as their own.

Our children and grandchildren rely and trust us to protect them and we need to include the internet as a possible place where they could be abused in the virtual world. Their digital footprint is literally in our hands every time we post news or photos about them. What an awesome thought!

So thoroughly think about the ‘stuff’ you post on Facebook, Instagram and your other social accounts especially when it relates to your children. Parents should also ask grandparents to do the same and perhaps monitor family tags that might include your kids.

Privacy settings on social media are paramount to judicious use of the internet.

Baby Development: 4 Months and 3 Weeks

Posted on January 12, 2016 by llpitlwp

Baby Development at 4 months and 3 weeks

It is so exciting to watch baby change and grow into a socially interactive little person.

one moment in time

At this age he is still crying to communicate his needs like hunger and “change me” but he’s starting to show you his sense of humor when he laughs at surprises. He might like a quiet game of peek-a-boo where he will share some giggles!

He is now also enjoying various sounds. Try making noises for him like whistling or create your own animal sounds and see how he interacts with you. These are true moments of joy!

Learn more fascinating facts about your 4-month-old’s baby development.

Encourage your baby’s laughs, giggles, and smiles with funny faces and lots of general silliness. You don’t need special toys or instruments to create them.

Source: Your 4-month-old: Week 3 | BabyCenter

Since it is winter there are germs around that cause RSV or respiratory syncytial virus. It starts with cold-like symptoms which can lead to ear infections, bronchiolitis (infection of the small airways), pneumonia or later development of asthma or other respiratory problems.

Many babies get RSV before they turn 2 years old but it can be more serious for babies under 6 months old with medical problems and premature babies whose immune systems might be weaker.

Symptoms of RSV in baby

Baby develops a mild
Cough gets worse over a few days
Breathing becomes labored
His nostrils may begin to flare when breathing
Excessive expansion of his rib cage
Tightening of his abdominal muscles
Grunting when breathing
Wheezing when breathing (High pitched whistling sound when breathing)
Quickened breathing (More than 60 breaths per minute)
Blush lips, nails
Feeding problems

If you suspect your child has RSV

Call you child’s doctor
RSV is a virus so there is no antibiotics for it
However if your child is having trouble breathing the doctor may prescribe some breathing treatments
Keep him away from smoke and fumes
Keep him well hydrated
Cool mist vaporizer can help
Saline nose drops can help
Flu shots may be recommended in the future by your doctor

Baby development is slow and deliberate. It is like watching a tiny chick hatch from an egg. It seems to take forever for each little peck to crack the protective shell. Your baby is trying to tackle his environment with of course a little help from you.A

At times you might see him actually appearing to struggle. He might be trying to turn himself over at this stage, it will be a milestone task for him and when he finally accomplishes it he might actually surprise himself and maybe even give out a giggle. Think about how it felt when you actually rode a two wheeler bike for the first time, when you realized no one was holding you anymore. Your baby is experiencing those monumental moments now so let him enjoy them without too much if any assistance from you.

Enjoy the moments of baby development as they happen in real time right before your eyes. Try to tuck these memories away carefully like a fragile treasure so they can surface at a time in the future when he is all grown up but still feels like your ‘baby’.

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on January 10, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

The holiday season throws me off schedule as it does for many others. I publish my blog pretty much without any help. My daughter does write for me when she has time but I am usually the one who actually edits and clicks “publish”. So hence the lapse in postings. My schedule is God, family and then all other things.

Here is my delayed weekend picks.

Phones for Kids:

A lot of us have kids that are becoming ready for their own mobile phones. Maybe they are just for checking in or for safety of knowing that they can get in touch with a parent if necessary ICE (In Case of Emergency).

What do you do to prepare them for having a cellphone at their fingertips? Here are some tips.

She’s going to be a few minutes late.” “I told her we’re almost there.” “Her train is being held at the station.” “I told her we’re here.” “I’m asking her where she is.” “The train is moving again.” “She’s almost here.”

Source: Preparing a Child to Own a Mobile Phone, but Not Always Use It – The New York Times

Social Media and Kids:

Along with cellphones comes social media for kids. A perplexing time for young adolescents. Parents need to stay savvy and ahead of their kids if that is possible. Social media is here and before you know it your kids will be exposed to it. What is your child’s “Peer Culture”. Check out this piece and keep on the look out for more social media influences in your child’s environment.

Thirteen-year-olds who are already on social media spend a lot of time there, living their social lives both online and off. CNN’s new documentary, “Being 13,” and an accompanying report, “Being Thirteen: Social Media and the Hidden World of Young Adolescents’ Peer Culture”, reveal an entire world of just barely teenage posting, commenting, jockeying and, most of all, lurking on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

Source: Seven Ways Parents Can Help 13-Year-Olds Start Their Social Media Lives Right – The New York Times

Porn and Children:

Pornography exists so how do we protect our children? How do we talk to them about pornography? Here is an article that discusses this uncomfortable topic. In the end it does suggest that parents should be talking about this topic and sexuality with their teenagers.

In Does Porn Hurt Children in the Sunday Review, David Segal pointed to the absence of definitive research linking pornography exposure during adolescence to negative outcomes for teenagers and noted the ethical impossibility of conducting the kinds of studies that might prove, or disprove, such links. In spite of the lack of evidence of harm, every researcher he interviewed felt uneasy about the messages teenagers might take from pornography and suggested that “at a minimum” parents should be talking with their teenagers about sexuality in general and porn in particular.

Source: How to Talk to Your Teenager About Pornography – The New York Times

Weekend time is my favorite. A time to switch gears and slow down for some moments of reading and just kind of catching up on some stuff that gets lost during the hectic weekdays. I find that it takes a time to unwind which is usually Friday night dinner out with friends and on Saturday a slower pace is enjoyed with sometimes a lunchtime meal at a favorite spot. Sunday usually I start to gear up again to prep for the week ahead.

What do you do on your weekend?

Christmas Past, Present and Future

Posted on December 24, 2015 by llpitlwp

Christmas Past, Present and Future

As Christmas approaches, I become more and more reflective.

My thoughts return to Christmas Past,

then move on to Christmas Present

and finally,

I try to glimpse at what might be Christmas Future.

Christmas Past

Memories of early Christmas celebrations take me to NYC and all its magic and hustle and bustle. I loved it! So many Santas on every street corner ringing bells for donations, almost overwhelming to a small child. One of my favorite holiday traditions was with my dad shopping at Saks for monogrammed hankies wrapped in the traditional green and red Saks box which was always tied with a beautiful satin ribbon.

Of course the day would not be complete without skating underneath the Rockefeller Center Tree.

While my mom worked my Nana, took hold of the home front, and created Christmas memories as only a grandmother can. She was a wonderful cook and loved the Christmas season. She brought with her a strong faith so the story of Christmas in our house always included the Christ Child along with a visit from Santa Claus.

As years went on, Christmas memories were made in my own home and with my own family. I tried to create the feeling of Christmas the same way my grandmother had so many years before. My mother and uncle usually celebrated with us…they would come from Florida and enjoy brunch, our Christmas tradition in Chicago and then help with baking, cooking and decorating for the big day. It was a holiday full of warmth and love and now indelible memories.

Christmas Present

My husband and I are now the “older” generation and we happily celebrate Christmas with our family which this year includes, a granddaughter and a new grandson. We continue to make new memories built on the old ones which included great-grandparents our grandchildren will never know except through our traditions.

Our tree is in the same place it has been for the past 20+ years…it is decorated with ornaments each telling its own story of where our family has lived and traveled since 1977…New York, Florida, Chicago and Rhode Island. It has 3000 lights, so in some ways it is my Rockefeller Center right here at home!

Christmas Future

As an old year is coming to an end, I am looking at the future with of course some trepidations which come with age but they are soothed by the loving hugs of my granddaughter and my little grandson and the wonder and amazement that they bring to this house that has seen the footsteps of those who came before them.

The Christ Child is still here and Santa will soon ring his bells over our house.

The presents still wait to be wrapped…and the best is yet to come!

Baby development at 3 months and 3 weeks old!

Posted on December 13, 2015 by llpitlwp

Baby development

So many changes in baby development over such a short time!

He is learning so much:

He is starting to make conclusions about his world

He has so much curiosity

He loves looking at himself

He may like a toy with an unbreakable mirror so he can see himself and admire his looks even though he won’t really know that it is him he is looking at.

Sleeping and baby development:

Sleep patterns may be solidifying making it easier for you to get some rest. Gratefully my little grandson is a great little sleeper but some babies to not settle into a nice pattern until 6 months old. Baby should be now taking two daytime naps.

Interacting with others:

Your baby may stop eating to listen to you talking to him so talk to him about what you are doing in the kitchen and around the house and let him coo and talk back to you.
He is also starting to laugh…what a joy it is to hear his laughter.
Keep him close so he can hear everything…he will really like watching other babies and toddlers and even you dogs and cats. But be careful of him around your pets and make sure the environment is safe.

Grab and go

Your baby can reach for things now and is mastering grabbing give him interesting things to play with and hold.

Individual babies:

These baby development guidelines are they happen at different times for different babies. If you have questions please consult your healthcare provider.

Your life: Changing friendships

Having a new baby brings changes in your relationships with everyone — including your friends. Sometimes old friends who have no children are as delighted by your baby as you are, and aside from a few accommodations to your schedule, things continue as they once did. But others may not be as excited about your new phase of life. Some may be envious, others bored, and still others may simply have no interest in children. You can’t blame your friends entirely. You’re changing, too. Interests you once shared with certain people — skydiving, nightclubbing, shopping for shoes till you dropped — may no longer mesh with your lifestyle.

Although you can’t expect everything to stay exactly the same, it helps to strive for a balance between your old way of being together and your new situation. Your friend can’t expect you to abandon all thoughts of your baby, and you can’t expect her to want to talk only about motherhood. Look for common ground in your activities and time together. It’s great if you can sometimes go out to lunch, just the two of you, and other times have her come to your house to visit with the baby, for example.

You may drift apart from some pals, but at the same time, your baby will bring you into the orbit of new friends. Through playgroups, mom support networks, and chance encounters, you and your partner will meet other new parents with whom you have a lot in common.

Source: Your 3-month-old: Week 3 | BabyCenter

If you feel sad or depressed at this time, you may be experiencing Postpartum Depression please contact you healthcare provider for help.

PostPartum Progress is very helpful resource for PPD also.

Baby Development 2-month-old: Week 4

Posted on November 27, 2015 by llpitlwp

Baby Development 2-month-old: Week 4

Almost 3months old…baby is growing and moving and cooing!

Reading is one of the best things that you can do with your baby at this early age.

It actually helps him to develop his ear for the cadence of your voice and for spoken language.

You can enjoy singing to him as well as using animated voices and funny sounds and accents.

When you baby looks away he is getting tired so give him a rest.

Some nice sweet little books to read to your little one….Goodnight Moon, Good Night Gorilla or any brightly colored board books with pictures.

Flat Head (positional plagiocephaly) and baby development

Now is the time that you may begin to notice a flattened area on your baby’s head. It is usually due to sleeping too much in the same position which is not uncommon at this age. Their heads are soft and their skulls are pliable. This condition will usually round itself out on its own as you baby finds other positions and begins to move around on his own, crawling and sitting up.

If you are very concerned about flatness please consult with you pediatrician and perhaps get a referral to a pediatric neurosurgeon or craniofacial specialist. If treatment is necessary some suggestions might be to make sure your baby is spending enough time on his tummy. Make sure you supervise him during tummy time. This time will help him strengthen his neck muscles. Stronger muscles in the neck will allow him to move his head around especially while he is sleeping. He will not then spend so much time sleeping in one position.

You may have also seen babies wearing helmets or custom fitted head bands for a few months. This helps to correct more severe cases of positional plagiocephaly. It is important to get help as soon as you notice any flattening of the head.

Well meaning advice: Beware of the baby development experts!

Most moms get their fair share of advice from well-meaning friends and relatives. It can irritate you no end if you let it. My advice is don’t listen to most of it…do what you think is best for you and your baby.

It works to just say, “thank-you” or “I’ll think about that”. Most advice is given because just seeing a baby brings back mommy memories even 30+ year old memories. Trust me I am guilty of this and have to be really careful of this habit. I just can’t help it!

Baby Development Source: Your 2-month-old: Week 4 | BabyCenter