Category Archives: Moms & Dads

“Up and Away” for Grandparents

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Are you an Up and Away Grandparent?

Final_Up&Away_Graphic_for_social_sharing

Becoming a grandparent has been the greatest highlight of my life.

I always knew the grandparent-grandchild relationship was a powerful and special one, from my own close relationship with my maternal grandmother.

grandmother and granddaughter

She and I were very attached, in fact, my mother, brother and I lived with her.
As I recall, she was very careful to explain to me that I must always ask before I ate anything, whether it was candy from her special candy bowl, cookies from the cookie jar or food from the fridge. I learned her rule early on and knew, most times she gave her permission for treats if I simply asked her. Hers was a simple rule. I guess it made me realize that I mustn’t eat things unless I asked first.

In the 50’s when I was growing up, medicine containers did not have special lock caps on them, children’s medicine always tasted like some sort of candy and adult pills looked like M&Ms. Except for today’s lid lock containers not much has changed.

As I recall, in my childhood home alll medications were kept very high up on a shelf so I could not reach them. When I had my own kids I kept the same habit of putting bottles up high, I took care to refrigerate medication on the highest shelf in the back of the fridge, as inaccessible as possible.

During my work as a pediatric nurse, I had personally seen what improper use of medications could do to both adults and children.  So even aspirin was off limits to my teenagers since there is a connection to aspirin and a potentially life threatening illness known as Reye’s Syndrome.

Today, I guess you would call me a helicopter grandparent when it comes to medications in my home where my grandchild is a frequent visitor. She spends time with us and has her own room so she feels very comfortable going to cabinets, getting snacks and raiding the refrigerator at 6 years of age.

Just as any good grandparent, I worry about her safety. You see, she has a nut allergy as well. So at a very young age, she was made aware of her need to stay away from any and all nuts.

As a nurse, I am a consistent medication label reader and with a nut allergy in our home, I now had to carefully read food labels as well. To be on the safe side, I choose not to buy food items that are exposed to nuts in their processing so I do not have to worry about nut exposure from contamination.

For many “older adults” medications are a fact of life. Some of us take medication on a daily basis so it becomes imperative for these medicines and other over the counter medications to be stored “up and away” from “little hands” and curious “little fingers”.

Up and Away

It is my honor to have been included in the Up and Away program to help grandparents like myself keep grandkids safe and healthy all year long.

 

UpdatedSafeStorage_UpAway_Infographic

Up and Away recognizes these important facts about grandparents and grandchildren:

  • 5.4 million kids of today are being raised in households headed by grandparents.
  • 1 in 8 grandparents in this country provide care to a grandchild on a regular basis according to SafeKids Worldwide

Our goal as parents and grandparents is raising a happy and healthy child. This can be challenging through all the developmental stages of childhood. Toddlers pose a special concern as the notoriously possess a need to explore their environment.

Facts to be aware of:

  • Each day 4 bus loads of kids are taken to the ER for accidental medicine ingestion.
  • Annually that is 60,000 kids, who have ingested medicines that belong to parents (39% of the time) or grandparents (38% of the time).

Education is a key factor in the prevention of accidental medicine ingestion by children. Do not leave grandparents out when it comes to baby proofing or child proofing homes and remember it is more than electrical outlets that should be of concern.

A Grandparent checklist priority should include:

  • Storage of all medicines and vitamins “up and away” and out of sight when young grandchildren are around. I would include all children including teenagers as well.
  • Keep purses, bags, and coats that contain medicines or vitamins out of reach and sight..
  • Never leave medicines or vitamins out on a table, countertop or sink.
  • Always make sure that caps are tightly locked and medicines put away after every use.
  • Weekly pill reminder kits usually do not come with locked tops so these are of particular concern. They must be stored out of reach.
  • It is a good idea for grandparents to set a reminder to take medications, since the  pills will be safely out of sight and therefore perhaps out of mind.
  • Program the national Poison Help number 1-800-222-1222 into your phone and post it in your home in case of an emergency.

Grandparent to do list:

  • Take inventory before babysitting or traveling to a grandchild’s house or before grandchildren visit your home.
  • Share Up and Away‘s grandparents’ medicine storage tip sheet with readers and friends.

Grandparents and parents who are reading this blog post, it is meant to be shared.

This is grandparenting in the digital age.

We are so fortunate to be able to educate each other through e-mail and social media. I know personally, I have learned a tremendous amount from my online virtual friends, some  are professionals in healthcare and child growth and development, others are moms, who are not afraid to share personal experiences in order to make the world a little safer for each and every child.

Please join me and…

Log in to Up and Away and Take the Pledge – ask your friends to do the same.

You may save a life!

 

 

Disclaimer : Up and Away is an educational program to remind families of the importance of safe medicine storage. It is an initiative of the PROTECT Initiative, in partnership with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the Consumer Healthcare Products Association Educational Foundation. I am being compensated for this blog post but my opinions are all my own.

Back-to-School anxiety

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Back-to-School Jitters

school

Class Photo

Most of us can remember our first days at school and the jitters that we felt. Sometimes, these jitters were happy ones…getting back back to the books and classroom meant seeing our friends again after the long hot summer.

It also meant slipping into a familiar routine which we know can be consolingly comfortable.

At times though, anxious worries can spoil the fun of the return to routine mornings, scheduled daytimes, and earlier bedtimes.

As a parent, I can remember struggling with the after Labor Day schedules. Here are some pointers to remember when parent anxiety rises.

  • Recognize your own anxiety– Take care that your own worries do not exacerbate the worries of your child. Anxiety is contagious! Meditate or take some time yourself to relax and model this settling behavior for your children during moments of anxiety.
  • Try to have a conversation with your kids– Listen to your children and validate their feelings…sometimes, they will want to talk about back-to-school stuff and sometimes, they will want to avoid the discussion. Be available, be non-judgmental, be empathic.
  • Plan ahead– Structure and planning eases anxiety because children know what to expect. Perhaps a visit to school or meeting new classmates can be arranged ahead of time.
  • Follow good eating and sleeping habits– Nourishment and rest are essentials to health and keeping a watchful eye on what you buy at the grocery store can be helpful as can a regular bedtime that allows for adequate rest and sleep.
  • Treat high anxiety– If you or your child seem to experience over the top anxiety, it might be time to consult a counselor for some more ideas as to how to treat these feelings. Help is available, you just have to ask.
  • Stay in touch with your kids– During the school year, keep listening to your children. Their conversations with friends can tell you more about them than you think you want or need to know.

But remember, an empathic ear can give you a heads-up to situations before they hatch into problems.

 

 

Do Maternal Grandparents Have it Better?

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Since I wrote this post my feelings about maternal grandparents have not changed much.

I am really interested in what others think… especially, moms, dads, grandmoms and granddads, themselves.

Grandparents

 

Do maternal grandparents have it better…maybe, is all I have to say.

It truly depends on the relationship that a mom has with her daughter. If the relationship with your daughter is marginal then I believe the relationship with your grandchildren has a greater chance of being marginal. As a grandmother, you will have to make more of an effort at your relationship with your grandchildren as well.

Relationships are work…grandparent-grandchild relationships are no different in many ways than relationships with other relatives or friends.

Grandchildren should not, in my belief, have to “kowtow” to their grandparents. I have said this in other posts.

To me, it is nice to have grandchildren who respect you, but if you want to have them visit, call or talk to you, then you will have to be the engager.

Sorry to say, but I remember being really bored by my paternal grandparents…even though I loved them dearly…they just were not fun and to top it off, most of the time they spoke Italian which I did not understand. I remember thinking this, was kind of rude.

Since my parents were divorced, my paternal grandparents were visited only on weekends with my dad. It was kind of an obligation of his and he brought me along for the ride.

Since I lived with my maternal grandmother, I loved her like she was my mother and sometimes, she was my “stand in” mother. She taught me to cook and do things around the house like ironing and making hospital corners on the beds. All girls need to know these things…Right?

Divorce or any rupture in a family does nothing to enhance the relationship between grandparents and grandchildren. Of course, it does depend upon the age at which the rupture takes place and to how extensive is the animosity between father, mother and family members.

In these situations, grandparents may find it difficult for various reasons to remain in contact with their grandchildren, because of loyalty to their child, conflict with daughter-in-law or son-in-law and the trickle down effect that all of this has on the grandchild.

Even if there is a seemingly amicable situation, there will be unspoken feelings that a child may sense, which will interfere with a developing relationship between them and their grandparents. Grandma and grandpa will have their work cut out for them in this family scenario. But hopefully the work will be worth it in the end.

Being a grandparent is the best thing that has happened to me. I cannot imagine any thing better. Being a mom was great and yes, I definitely had more energy but not more wisdom or patience…those I have acquired with age and life experience. For me, being the maternal grandmother has been a perk because I had and still have a good relationship with my daughter.

Do I have to walk on egg shells?… sometimes, certainly… will my relationship with my grandchild continue to be as wonderful as it currently is…well that will depend on me now won’t it?

 

Do maternal grandparents have it better?
Posted on October 8, 2012
Like I said: Its complicated.

via Do Maternal Grandmothers Really Have It Better? – Grandparents.com.

Related posts:

https://parentingintheloop.com/2012/07/25/grandmothers-discuss-among-yourselves/
https://parentingintheloop.com/2012/07/26/grandparents-in-the-loop/

Commentary: July 2014

Grandparents when it comes to you, there are boundaries just as in any relationship . If these boundaries were not established with your own children first, you may have a hard time establishing them with in-laws and even with your own grandchildren.

 

There is no entitlement that goes with the status of grandparent…just like every other role in life it must be earned. Your place in the family genogram or family tree is fixed but your role is not…

 

I would like to go back to Jackie Kennedy for a moment…she said, “if you bungle raising your children, nothing else matters much.”

 

So grandparents, if your relationship is not what you would like it to be with your grandchildren …. maybe you need to look at your relationship with your own children and see if you did “bungle” somewhere. Then look at the relationship with your grandchildren’s parents.

 

Remember, it is not about you and what you want, it is about your grandchildren and their parents.

 

Life is not easy…

 

 

My Weekly Review

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Weekly Review

week in review

Each week, so many interesting reads come across my feed that I want to share. It is truly impossibly difficult to sometimes choose which ones to include here.

Right now, my day in brief review so far, I am in the midst of doing laundry and there are six minutes left in the last cycle so, here I am blogging.

I have managed to complete some morning chores, making beds, straightening up, grocery shopping and dish doing along with some phone calls while driving.

This week, the news has been horrible particularly the last 24 hours. A commercial jet blown out of the air without warning is a horrendous tragedy for the world and especially for the family and friends of those killed while simply flying from Amsterdam to Malaysia.

Washing machine has stopped…gotta go…temporarily No iron shirts in the dryer.

How do you answer your grandchildren and children’s questions about things they are hearing on television concerning various tragic stories and serious world events. The Mother Company offers some suggestions:

 

Many of us keep the news away from our young children, though those with family and friends directly affected by tragic events don’t have that luxury.   None of us want our children to live in fear, but we know they need to be prepared and have some understanding of how the world works.

 

Are we experiencing a modern parenting crisis? A British nanny believes that we are and she suggests 5 reasons for the cause of this crisis.

I generally am quite an optimistic person. I tend to believe that everything will work out for the best unless the evidence is overwhelmingly to the contrary, and anyone who knows me will tell you that I am not prone to drama. That’s why when I say that modern parenting is in serious trouble — crisis, even — I hope you’ll listen, and listen carefully. I’ve worked with children and their parents across two continents and two decades, and what I’ve seen in recent years alarms me. Here are the greatest problems, as I see them:

 

Wrinkle Guard is warning me…gotta get those shirts out and on hangers.

 

After reading Emma Jenner’s 5 Causes of the Modern Parenting Crisis, I wrote a response on Today’s Grandmum over at ChicagoNow

The parent-child relationship is so much more complicated than it looks. The five reasons that the British nanny discusses are just part of what goes into raising children.

5 Reasons Modern-Day Parenting Is in Crisis | Today’s Grandmum.

 

These are my top three selections for review this week.

There are many more fascinating family, parenting, kids, and food articles to name just a few topics that I enjoy. It seems I cannot get enough time to read all of them

I hope that you get a chance to click on at least one review, if not all and you enjoy reading them.

What are some topics that you love to read about on the internet?

Each week, I will try and select some good articles that relate to parenting, kids and various other topics.

Look for “My Weekly Review” each Friday!

 

My Weekly Review

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Weekly Review

Each week so many interesting reads come across my feed that I want to share. It is truly impossibly difficult to sometimes choose which ones to include here.

Weekly Review- Ice Cream

Here are the stories that lit up my screen this week.

The very sad story about a toddler left in his dad’s car has been all over the news. There is a very serious side to this story and it involves other parents, who have made this fatal mistake. It is a very long story but well worth reading to get a perspective on just what a serious problem this is in today’s world.

The toddler slowly sweltered to death, strapped into a car seat for nearly nine hours in an office parking lot in Herndon in the blistering heat of July. It was an inexplicable, inexcusable mistake, but was it a crime? That was the question for a judge to decide.

Do we allow our kids and grandkids to explore their world and discover things without a “helicopter” over their heads? This piece made me realize just what a different world it is today for some children.

 

In the tardy twilight of a Puget Sound evening, we caught a glimpse of a boy, maybe 6 or 7, playing in mud exposed by low tide. Ankle-deep in vibrant muck, he called out a discovery to his father. “I found a bunch of baby crabs,” he said. “A jillion of them.” From there, he slipped into the woods, chasing some other curiosity of the natural world. A butterfly, I think. He disappeared for some time, without a word of concern from his parents. “You don’t see much of that anymore,” a friend said.

 

In keeping with childhood safety, here is a post with some very helpful tips. Let it be known that I love The Mother Company. It is simply a wonderful group!

 

 

My Body Is MINE!

Children must know that they are “the boss of their bodies.” That simply means that their body belongs only to them, and that no one should try to play an uncomfortable or “yucky” touching game with them. Especially with their “bathing suit areas” or “private parts” of their body. This is especially important as kids head off to swim camps or pool parties where you may not be around. Talk to your child beforehand and make sure he or she knows to immediately alert you (or the chaperone or lifeguard) if anyone tries to play a “touching game”.

 

These are my top three selections for review this week.

There are many more fascinating family, parenting, kids, and food articles to name just a few topics that I enjoy. It seems I cannot get enough time to read all of them

 

I hope that you get a chance to click on at least one review, if not all and you enjoy reading them.

What are some topics that you love to read about on the internet?

Each week, I will try and select some good articles that relate to parenting, kids and various other topics.

Look for “My Weekly Review” each Friday!

Hello and Goodbye…Why This is Unpleasant for Kids! | Today’s Grandmum

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I have a new post “Hello and Goodbye” on my blog “Today’s Grandmum” at Chicago Now.

hello and goodbye

Now that the summer is here many families will be traveling to visit relatives and family friends that they only see once a year or at holiday time.

via Hello and Goodbye…Why This is Unpleasant for Kids! | Today’s Grandmum.

 

Go click over and see many other great topics and blogs at Chicago Now.

For now ….Hello and Goodbye!

My Weekly Review

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Weekly Review

Each week so many interesting reads come across my feed that I want to share. It is truly impossibly difficult to sometimes choose which ones to include here.

summer review

That being said, here is my review for last week. I will try to post these each Friday for weekend reading…instead of a summer novel.

My favorite by far, is this article about keeping your child safe from ticks and Lyme Disease while they go off to camp. I am amazed I did not research this one myself as I am obsessed with all diseases that could affect my kids and now my grandchild. I admire this mom’s approach to prevention against a very serious disease threat.

The season of sleep-away camp is upon us, and in our house that means it’s time for the yearly pesticide ritual.

 

 

How are you raising your kids and grandkids? Do you encourage their dreams or are you more of a realist? Personally, I love to dream and think that it is nice not to thwart creativity by being too much of back to reality thinker especially when it comes to children.

 

 

My parents never allowed me to set boundaries on my aspirations. They encouraged travel, they pushed me into new experiences, and they never laughed at any of my lofty goals, even when they knew my dreams were outside the bounds of reason. They listened as I spoke of opening an orphanage in Russia, of writing ten best selling books before I turned 30, and of somehow still getting that ever elusive Oscar.      


Now this is going to be a very controversial case. But the sad fact here is that many kids unfortunately die in hot cars during the summer months because they are left for even a short time alone in a sweltering vehicle. Please never leave a child alone in a vehicle for any reason as it is simply not safe and in many states it is illegal and you could be charged with child endangerment.

 

To the authorities in suburban Cobb County, the vehicle is the place where Justin Ross Harris murdered his 22-month-old son, Cooper, by leaving him in a rear-facing car seat for about seven hours on a warm Southern day.

 

 

These are my top three selections for review this week. I hope that you get a chance to click on at least one if not all and that you enjoy reading them. Each week I will try and select some good articles that relate to parenting, kids and various other topics.

Look for “My Weekly Review” each Friday!

 

I Have Another Blog @ ChicagoNow

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Did you know that I write another blog over @ChicagoNow?

Chicago blog

For several months now, I have been publishing thoughts on a blog at “Today’s Grandmum”. It has been challenging to keep up with new and interesting stuff on two sites and I am not sure that as of this moment I would consider myself successful at this challenge…at least not yet!

This past Sunday, I was able to enjoy a front page New York Times story about a NYC firefighter. It touched my heart in many ways. It was a short memoir experience of sorts, which made me experience the empathic feeling of being in Firefighter Sullivan’s heavy gear. I shared his anxiety and fear and finally his relief and joy afterwards.

Firefighter Sullivan’s experience as a “probie” in New York City’s Fire Department was chronicled from his lowly firehouse chores to his “baptism by fire” at his first fire where he rescued an infant with whom he shared his oxygen mask to give the child needed air to save his life. A new firefighter rarely has enough oxygen for himself during his first fire due  to his nervousness which cause him to suck in from his tank rather than just breathing normally thus depleting his reserve of oxygen must faster than normal.

First fire stores are burned into a firefighter’s memory forever more. They use their story to help other young firefighters prepare for their initial fire.

Firefighter Sullivan’s “baptism by fire” inspired my latest blog post @ChicagoNow

I invite you to read my blog, Today’s Grandmum for the full story.

Let me know what you think about my new effort. Read a few of the posts and remember comments are always welcome. I appreciate all my readers and would love to hear from you here and over at ChicagoNow where there are many interesting blogs by some very talented writers.

 

Just Say No is Not Always Enough!

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When “Just Say No” is not enough.

just say no

I have a book on my nightstand written by Betsy Brown Braun, “Just Tell Me What to Say”. It is a guide book of answers to our kids’ questions.

This morning, I read this great post by a mom, who wrote about how teenagers may need a guide with the same title.

Our teens are in dire need of our assistance in forming the words to respond to their peers, who have already or are inevitably going to introduce them to drugs and alcohol along with other “bad” behaviors.

Let’s help them develop a script of answers and sayings when they want to “Just say NO” with an explanation that saves their friendships and perhaps even dissuades their friends from making “bad” choices.

Here are some we decided upon together:

When you notice a lonely kid: Hey! Here’s a seat for you. Come join us.

When someone offers you a beer: No thanks. My family’s genes and alcohol don’t mix well. Can’t risk it. (This was how he felt comfortable explaining that alcoholism runs rampant in our family and makes drinking even riskier for Chase than for the average bear.)

When someone offers you weed: My mom used to smoke pot when she was younger and now she can smell it from a mile away. She checks my clothes every night. Can’t do it, man. (That’s the one that won, but I liked: HEY! How about we put down these joints and go volunteer at the dog shelter! He liked the first one. Whatever, his show.)

When someone starts texting while driving: Hey, I just saw a movie about a kid who got killed because he was texting and driving. I don’t want you to get killed because I plan to ask you for many, many rides in the future. Pull over if you need to text — I’m not in a hurry.

You find yourself in a sexual situation you’d prefer not to be in: Hey, I like you too much for this to go down this way.

A kid is being teased by another kid in the hallway: Hey. I don’t want anybody to get in trouble here. Why don’t you follow me out of here? I’ll walk you to class.

Someone is about to drink and drive: Don’t risk it, man. My dad’ll get us home — no questions asked. He’d rather pick us up here than in jail.

I don’t know if my ‘tween will use these life preservers we made together. But when that moment comes he will know that they’re available if he wants to save himself. And when he leaves the house in the evening and I say to him, just like when he was two, Use your words tonight — I know he’ll have words to use.

via The One Conversation That Could Save Your Teen’s Life (And Your Own) | Glennon Melton.

 

Thank you to Glennon Melton for this insightful article about how to “Just Say No” in a way that will not cost a teenager too much angst.

We all know, saying “NO” is only part of the conversation.

Let’s move forward as parents and grandparents and give out kids the words and explanations to go along with the  “Just Say No” advice. It could make a huge difference in how they travel through the challenging world of adolescence.

Girl Fakes Getting Her Period

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Faking a period111, what an idea!

One of the funniest videos that I have watched and it is from “Hello Flo”.

This grandmother would have never imagined that there would be a time when personal milestones such as getting your period222 would be posted on social media in a  humorous way.

When I was growing up in the fifties, there was “Now You Are Ten”, a booklet available under a brown paper wrapper from the makers of Kotex. Such conversations with your mom were extremely uncomfortable. Health education, as we know it today, was non-existent in our schools.

I think our frank discussions with the younger generation are healthy ones and “Hello Flo” helps to put a perspective on a personal matter, period333.

Thank you…Flo for opening up a conversation with humor.

Speaking of humor, check out a popular vintage photo which was a common ad for personal products. Wearing white was always a concern during “that time of the month”.period

 

 

 

Girl Fakes Getting Her Period444, and Pays the Price, in Hilarious New Ad From Hello Flo | Adweek.