Weekend Picks from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on March 4, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Picks from Parenting in the Loop

Weekend travel is so common and we are so blessed when we can enjoy a getaway from the day to day! So as we prepare for yet another travel adventure I cannot help but react to this event on an airplane.

This story just affected me to my core when I read it after it popped up on my personal Facebook page. Our family too, deals with anaphylactic food allergies and we travel and have traveled pretty much without any serious events especially any life threatening situations. That being said, I am so sad that there seems to be such a horrible lack of compassion for adults and children, who have disabilities which to me can even be a food allergy as it does curtail one’s ability to enjoy certain activities due to environmental factors.

Empathy and compassion accompanied with knowledge and understanding from his fellow fliers would have perhaps not broken the spirit of 7 year-old little Giovanni, who was on a trip with his terminally ill father, a trip that was probably the last one they would ever take together. Can you even imagine how Giovanni felt when he heard a plane full of adults clapping as he left the flight that was supposed to take him home with his family and as he watched one of the attendants smirk at his mother as she told his mom, they should probably drive.

A seven year old little boy now has to remember that adults were happy to see him abandoned to the airport, stranded with his deathly ill dad and his mom at a time when he himself was covered in hives, scratching all over.

I cannot help but think how it could be that people are so inappropriately reactive and insensitive to another person’s problem. Maybe it was a ‘herd’ reaction but that really is not an excuse for being so out of touch with those in such proximity.

What if someone was having a heart attack. Would the ‘herd’ have responded in the same way?

What if it was you or a family member that needed medical attention just before take-off?

I hope that Giovanni’s physical recovery was uneventful and that emotionally he can put this ugly experience behind him as he enjoys his time with his Dad, who suffers from cancer. I also hope his Dad knows that his son probably will have other experiences during his life related to his allergies and that Giovanni will reflect back on this one as the event that helped him understand and have empathy for those that also have allergies and disabilities. Perhaps Giovanni was concerned even more about his sick Dad than himself as he departed his flight. Kids at seven can be very alarmed when adults around them are sick.

When 7-year-old Giovanni began to break out in hives shortly after boarding a plane in Bellingham, WA, with his parents, the family had no idea that their painful ordeal was just beginning. “He began to get very itchy and he was scratching all over,” the boy’s mom, Christina Fabian, told THV11 News. “So we informed the flight attendant, who informed us that there’s dogs on every flight and just smirked . . . which minimized his experience for me.” The allergic reaction delayed takeoff, and eventually, the family was told that they’d have to deboard. “We understood,” Fabian said. “They helped us off the plane, but as we gathered our stuff the people toward the back of the plane clapped.”

Source: Passengers Applaud as Boy With Allergies Is Forced Off Plane | POPSUGAR Moms

So this weekend, I am going to try to be extra sensitive to those around me, even if they are strangers, even if they are delaying me or annoying me for whatever reason. I am as impatient as everyone else these days and I have my moments where I just don’t want to deal with life’s inconveniences.

Although I cannot change anyone, it is possible for me to at least improve my own efforts to express empathy and understanding one day, or even one weekend at a time.

Weekend Pick from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on February 28, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pick from Parenting in the Loop

Weekend water play

Imprinting, psychological definition:

A remarkable phenomenon that occurs in animals, and theoretically in humans, in the first hours of life. The newborn creature bonds to the type of animals it meets at birth and begins to pattern its behavior after them. In humans, this is often called bonding, and it usually refers to the relationship between the newborn and its parents.

It’s Sunday but I had to share this cute little video as my pick for this weekend

A Little Girl and Her Duck

This little story has really made me smile and has warmed my heart. Seeing a duckling attach to a child and a young child attach to a duck speaks volumes about the importance of human attachment.

FEBRUARY 26, 2016, 6:56 PM|A 5-year-old in Maine has an inseparable bond with her duck. Not a toy duck — a real, live duck. She believes she is the duck’s mom, and vice versa. Steve Hartman went “On the Road” to meet this dynamic duck duo.
Source: Duck pals: A girl and her duck – Videos – CBS News

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on February 19, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Spices of Life

I am really into decluttering. But I find it a totally frustrating experience at best. Devoting any of my precious hard earned time on any given Saturday or Sunday is definitely not something I relish.

Do you feel the same way?

OR…

Are you already super organized?

Are you a weekend warrior and love projects like these?

I loved this post in the New York Times. Both of these women and their approaches appeal to me. So I am already stuck, when it comes to organizing my kitchen space.

Two Cooks, Two Kitchens, Two Organizing Plans

Do different cooks need different approaches to organizing the kitchen?

I wasn’t the only one who was feeling the need for a kitchen makeover. Margaux Laskey, my partner in the Kids Cook column, was having similar thoughts. Although we’re both working parents who love to cook, we’re in different places in our lives: She’s the mother of a baby and a preschooler, while my kids are older (9, 10, 11 and 14). Her kitchen is small, mine is the big country version. Did we also need different approaches to a kitchen clean-out?

On one hand I don’t think I could stand to have everything out of my cabinets and exposed so it would be hard for me to choose the first plan. On the other hand I like the outcome even if it took almost 10 days to achieve.

The second approach is more appealing because there seems to be a more immediate gratification in having one part of my kitchen organized even if it is just the spice cabinet.

Neither one of these is a weekend project for me.

Over the years I have tried decluttering and one of the things I simplified was my wardrobe. That was about 15 years ago and at this point it is in severe need of a revisit.

Our house has been the home at any given time for 4 generations of our family and we have only lived here for 20 or so years. There are many things that evoke memories of times and people gone by. It is not so easy to “dispose” of these memory charged things. It feels like I am actually throwing away my past even though I know that it not true.

I love the fact that I can take photos of the things before I give them away and those photos can be store readily stored on my computer literally forever. I know my mother would not want me to be a slave to saving her things unless it was something that brought me true joy when I wore it or looked at it. I have to keep this in mind.

I can truly tell you I will not be decluttering this weekend since I prefer to procrastinate.

What will you be doing?

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on February 6, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Welcome back!

Do you play catch up on the weekend? This weeks pics are short and sweet to read while you take a much needed break from the weekday routines.

Baths…are they really necessary every day for kids? What is the routine in your house? Do you wash your child’s hair every time they shower or take a bath? I never really thought about this too much but it must be a topic of discussion so here are some guidelines.

My grandmother told me that back in the day Saturday night was bath night and their tubs were in the kitchen because they had to heat their own bath water on the stove. That was tenement living in NYC in the early 1900’s.

Contrary to popular belief, babies don’t need daily baths, according to Laura Jana, MD, spokeswoman for the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). It’s not until they begin crawling around in sandboxes and other places, and start eating solid foods, that they get dirty enough to merit a full-body wash. “Bathing is really necessary only to clean your child off when she gets dirty,” pediatrician David Gellar, MD, told BabyCenter.

Source: Do Kids Really Need a Bath Every Day? The Great Debate

How do you promote creativity in your children and grandchildren? This week I read that kids are better off with lots of arts and crafts in their play space than a bunch of toys. I would not argue with that except there are definitely toys that creative while being fun. I am thinking about STEM ‘toys’ in particular robots like Dash and Dot, and Legos. How does your weekend stack up when it comes to creativity?

Re “How to Raise a Creative Child” (Sunday Review, Jan. 31): What Adam Grant says about the relationship between freedom and creativity is so true. But now I fear that the tiger moms and dads will decide that they can mass-produce creative children merely by cutting back on rules and letting their children follow their hearts. I would argue that the sources of creativity are deeper than that: Creative children tend to have creative parents who encourage and value creativity in their offspring.

Source: On Freeing a Child to Be Creative – The New York Times

This is a great short article about kids and money and the effects of managing it even at an early age and keeping the conversations about spending alive as the years go on. A very worthwhile read even for adults who have money/materialism issues.

Children are ever-changing beings, but when it comes to money and materialism, too many parents think that their older offspring are not malleable at all.

Here are the 6 Steps:

Foundation
Conversation
Wants and Needs
Keeping Score
Money Mentor
Keep Money Conversation Alive with Children During the Years Ahead

Source: Six Steps to Curb Materialism in Your Kids – The New York Times

Okay…now I know this is Super Bowl Weekend, so enjoy if you that is your thing. I like the commercials and the snacks! What about you?

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on January 30, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Saturday mornings are usually busy ones, for that matter so are Sundays but they are are a welcome change from the weekdays because work is not part of the schedule.

How does you weekend look?

Do you give yourself a chance to relax?

It is so important for your over all well being that you do take time out.

What do you do to unwind from the busy week?

I used to like to shop when I had a free weekend day… browsing stores and checking out new fashion, make-up etc was a way for me to relax. That is really a luxury that I now do once in awhile during a free weekday. Most of my shopping is done online these days. I love my virtual friends whose sites curate fashion, tech, books, and must-haves of all sorts. I find they all help me save time when it comes to shopping and researching the best buys.

I am sure you know the saying “if it is too good to be true then it is not true”. That is what I think about when I read any advertisement. Babble has found some parenting items that although too good to be true are really truly great items. Check them out. Which one is your favorite? I like more than one!

bottle-top-adapator

But my point is, I am fully behind parenting products and technologies that improve our lives, help protect our children, or frankly, just give me a few minutes of peace and quiet. Which is why I’m really looking forward to incorporating a few of these too-good-to-be true parenting products into my motherhood game.

DNA tests for diets? A Keurig for formula? Car seat alerts to your phone? The future of parenting has arrived.

Source: 12 Parenting Products That Seem Too Good to Be True | Babble

This is an election year and it is a difficult one with the primaries coming up this week. I found this book fascinating and helpful at the same time. Is it time for Hillary or not and why not? Check out my sponsored book review of “Love Her Love Her Not The Hillary Paradox”.

weekend reading

How do you feel about the former First Lady’s bid for the Presidency? Do you want to know what other women think and feel about her candidacy?

If you do then Love Her, Love Her Not – The Hillary Paradox edited by Joanne Cronrath Bamberger is the book for you.

Source: Hillary…The Woman… The Mom…The President

To most of you it is no surprise that I love being a grandmother. I do not have a “secret life”. My priorities are fixed in this order God, Family, Work.

Do you have a secret life? How do you feel about ‘babysitting’ and childcare? I would love to hear from you.

The Secret Lives of Modern Grandmothers

Chicago is going to be warmish this weekend…40’s. I know…it is all relative. In LA that would be freezing but here we think and actually feel warm.

No matter what your weather, take time to enjoy the view!

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on January 22, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Do you know what the “growth mind set” mean? I wasn’t quite sure but this post explains the emphasis on learning not just the goal. Do you agree?

That’s far from the real message of the research surrounding the growth mind-set. The exclusive focus on effort has been misplaced, says Dr. Dweck, whose book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” delivered the phrase into popular culture. The emphasis should be on learning as an active process, not a goal. “We’re not just saying ‘effort’ anymore,” she says. “We also talk about using good strategies and getting help from others.” Part of a growth mind-set is being willing to learn how best to learn. “Parents may be familiar with the growth mind-set, but they may be using it toward the goal of the next test grade or school application. That’s not what it is. It’s about learning and improving and loving the process. Those other things come about as a byproduct.”

Source: ‘Nice Try!’ Is Not Enough – The New York Times

As we get older it is harder to make “people connections” . There are some things that can help with the feeling of being lonely. Gretchen Rubin has some suggestions in this post which is helpful to keep from being lonely even if you are alone. This is a great read for those stuck inside this weekend during “Snowmaggedon2016”.

One major challenge within happiness is loneliness. The more I’ve learned about happiness, the more I’ve come to believe that loneliness is a terrible, common, and important obstacle to consider.
Source: Lonely? 5 Habits to Consider to Combat Loneliness. | Gretchen Rubin

As a clinical social worker I am in love with the concept and theory known as the “Good Enough Mother” developed my Winnicott. Our failures actually help our kids. You will enjoy this post.

Each time we let our children down, and they get through it, they get just a little bit stronger. That is the gift of the good enough mother, and it’s time we all embrace it.

Source: The Gift of the Good Enough Mother | Seleni Institute

This weekend here in Chicago we are escaping “Snowmaggedon2016”. I have to say that I am happy about our weather even if it has been bitter cold. This week we have been in a deep freeze with a smattering of snow almost every day. After many years here in the midwest it is still something that comes along with winter that I could definitely do without.

I hope that all of my friends and everyone in the East stays safe this weekend during this horrible blizzard. It is not just the snow accumulation it is the wind and storm surge along the coastline that makes this storm so dangerous.

Please be safe and warm everyone!

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on January 15, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

My pics this week are from the New York Times. Motherlode always has some really great posts and is a blog that I catch up on during my weekend. I follow many blogs and bloggers, there are so many good ones on all kinds of topics. Once I start reading it is hard to stop sometimes. It is my way to binge!

These three are my favorites this week. I hope you get a chance to read them during this long weekend.

Last fall, I tried adding another question to the mix: Can I get cash for this? Online consignment stores and what essentially amount to used clothing buyers, particularly for designer goods, began popping up in my Facebook feed, promising to help me “reclaim the value” in my closet — and, I soon discovered, my children’s closets as well.

Source: Get Paid to Organize Your Children’s Closets (and Yours) – The New York Times

Dearest Parenting Experts, What advice do you have for dealing with feigned incompetence in previously capable, competent children? When a student suddenly regresses, claiming they can’t complete skills I know they have mastered, or when a child suddenly loses the ability to do the laundry, say, flailing his boneless, ineffectual arms about as he jabs at buttons on the washing machine, wailing all the while that he can’t possibly do laundry; it’s too hard.

Source: When Children Say ‘I Can’t,’ but They Can, and Adults Know It – The New York Times

Over the last few months, researchers from Pew have been looking at parents, teenagers and the Internet. They’ve looked at how teenagers live their lives online, and how they feel about that new (to adults) arena. Now, in a newly released report, the researchers are exploring what parents and teenagers say about how parents monitor teenagers online and, perhaps more interestingly, how they don’t

Source: Parents Monitoring Teenagers Online, and Mostly, Getting It Right – The New York Times

If you have a three day weekend because of the Martin Luther King Holiday take some time to reflect on what this day means to you and your family.

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on January 10, 2016 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

The holiday season throws me off schedule as it does for many others. I publish my blog pretty much without any help. My daughter does write for me when she has time but I am usually the one who actually edits and clicks “publish”. So hence the lapse in postings. My schedule is God, family and then all other things.

Here is my delayed weekend picks.

Phones for Kids:

A lot of us have kids that are becoming ready for their own mobile phones. Maybe they are just for checking in or for safety of knowing that they can get in touch with a parent if necessary ICE (In Case of Emergency).

What do you do to prepare them for having a cellphone at their fingertips? Here are some tips.

She’s going to be a few minutes late.” “I told her we’re almost there.” “Her train is being held at the station.” “I told her we’re here.” “I’m asking her where she is.” “The train is moving again.” “She’s almost here.”

Source: Preparing a Child to Own a Mobile Phone, but Not Always Use It – The New York Times

Social Media and Kids:

Along with cellphones comes social media for kids. A perplexing time for young adolescents. Parents need to stay savvy and ahead of their kids if that is possible. Social media is here and before you know it your kids will be exposed to it. What is your child’s “Peer Culture”. Check out this piece and keep on the look out for more social media influences in your child’s environment.

Thirteen-year-olds who are already on social media spend a lot of time there, living their social lives both online and off. CNN’s new documentary, “Being 13,” and an accompanying report, “Being Thirteen: Social Media and the Hidden World of Young Adolescents’ Peer Culture”, reveal an entire world of just barely teenage posting, commenting, jockeying and, most of all, lurking on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

Source: Seven Ways Parents Can Help 13-Year-Olds Start Their Social Media Lives Right – The New York Times

Porn and Children:

Pornography exists so how do we protect our children? How do we talk to them about pornography? Here is an article that discusses this uncomfortable topic. In the end it does suggest that parents should be talking about this topic and sexuality with their teenagers.

In Does Porn Hurt Children in the Sunday Review, David Segal pointed to the absence of definitive research linking pornography exposure during adolescence to negative outcomes for teenagers and noted the ethical impossibility of conducting the kinds of studies that might prove, or disprove, such links. In spite of the lack of evidence of harm, every researcher he interviewed felt uneasy about the messages teenagers might take from pornography and suggested that “at a minimum” parents should be talking with their teenagers about sexuality in general and porn in particular.

Source: How to Talk to Your Teenager About Pornography – The New York Times

Weekend time is my favorite. A time to switch gears and slow down for some moments of reading and just kind of catching up on some stuff that gets lost during the hectic weekdays. I find that it takes a time to unwind which is usually Friday night dinner out with friends and on Saturday a slower pace is enjoyed with sometimes a lunchtime meal at a favorite spot. Sunday usually I start to gear up again to prep for the week ahead.

What do you do on your weekend?

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on December 5, 2015 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Another weekend is upon us and we have yet another shooting to think about.

This week has been a seriously tragic one as we here in the United States watched yet another “mass shooting” take place in San Bernardino California. My gaze was riveted on the television screen as the helpers tried to assist the victims and the police tried to hunt down the shooters.

Growing up in NY, I was made aware of my surroundings at a very early age. It was necessary in order for me to remain safe from predators, who wanted to steal your purse or your life from you. Stranger danger was just a fact of my life as a city kid.

My alertness is therefore second nature, I lock everything, I look around me in garages, I carry pepper spray. But now there is a different anxiety and alertness that I live with, it permeates me from my core as I think about my granddaughter at school, my own daughters as they go about their lives and my husband as he works to save lives.

What happened in San Bernardino CAN happen anywhere at anytime!

This morning I have to share some stories with you about what we can do concerning the violence in our country and our neighborhoods.

It is serious stuff when other countries like Australia are now warning their citizens that travel to the United States is dangerous at this time of violence.

The following is a piece written by Noah Pozner’s grandmother published this weekend on her blog Farine . Noah’s life was violently ended in school at Sandy Hook. He was only six. Please read.

f you truly care, if you are not just paying lip-service to the awfulness of the moment, if you want our country to change, here is what you can do:Join a grass-root effort: Everytown for Gun Safety is a good place to start;Champion gun safety among your friends and relatives (and if you do own guns, please start at home);Call your congressmen and let them know what you expect from them;Vote with both your conscience and your heart in the next election.

Source: Another mass shooting

My faith is important to me and prayer is part of my life but I agree there is more to solving a problem than “thoughts and prayers”.

We must take action and responsibility for making our country a safer place not just for ourselves but for our children and grandchildren. Think about what you can do…even small actions can make a difference.

Your ‘thoughts’ should be about steps to take to stop this carnage,” tweeted Senator Chris Murphy of Connecticut. “Your ‘prayers’ should be for forgiveness if you do nothing — again.”A day after the California carnage, the Senate decided to do nothing, again, voting down a measure that would have made it more difficult for people on the terror watch list, felons and the mentally ill to buy guns.

Source: No More Thoughts and Prayers – The New York Times

The collective we are not doing enough! This weekend I hope ~~some~~ most of us will do something to help prevent more gun violence.

Another day, another ghastly shooting in America.So far this year, the United States has averaged more than one mass shooting a day, according to the ShootingTracker website, counting cases of four or more people shot. And now we have the attack on Wednesday in San Bernardino, Calif., that killed at least 14 people.

Source: On Guns, We’re Not Even Trying – The New York Times

I know this is a stressful time of year but for some people it is an extremely sad time as well. Please take time out this weekend to think about what you can do to make a difference.

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Posted on November 15, 2015 by llpitlwp

Weekend Pics from Parenting in the Loop

Many moms struggle with breastfeeding while others have a very different experience without difficulties. The reasons for successful breastfeeding are many but that does not make the struggles any less real for other moms.

I am always looking for a “real” stories from moms who are breastfeeding that can add support to moms who struggle with feeding their babies.

one woman’s honest look at her struggle with breastfeeding

Source: struggle with breastfeeding

With a young child or baby in the house medications are always a concern. There are just so many on the shelves in the your local drugstore or grocer. Many of these including herbal medications are not safe for children especially babies. Please be very cautious and consult with your pediatrician before giving any medications to your children and when you do use medications please make sure you measure correctly.

See which prescription, herbal, and over-the-counter medicines could be dangerous for your child, from aspirin to anti-nausea products.

Source: Nine medicines you shouldn’t give your baby | BabyCenter

This weekend the tragic events in Paris are all over the news media. Your children may have questions…how do you answer these questions about an event that is difficult for us as adults, parents and grandparents to understand?

Here is a list of resources from Cool Mom Picks. It is very comprehensive so please share it.

This weekend:

It’s been a somber mood around here, as our hearts go out to the people of Paris. We each have been hoping and praying for peace for humanity in our own ways, and this image from French artist Jean-Julien, which you’ve probably seen by now, has captured the sentiment so simply and beautifully.

As someone who lived through 9/11 in New York, I admit I am having a very difficult time with this. It’s hard enough to process the horror and inhumanity of it all, but what’s different this time — even though it’s 3600 miles away and not just a few blocks — is now I have children, when I didn’t in 2001. And my girls are seeing me crying as I scroll through my tablet or speak in hushed tones on the phone, and understandably, they want to know what’s wrong.

Source: How to talk to children about tragedy in Paris: Online resources

The week goes slowly and the weekend flies by…not sure why this is always the case!

I hope you have had time to relax and enjoy your family and friends. Stay safe!